The dark brown treats in these little cotton bags aren’t actually Reindeer droppings (or any other animal, for that matter), though legend holds that such is their true origin. No, these are just fine, lovingly-crafted milk-chocolate almonds with a gross name. For some reason, people get a kick out of eating things they’re not supposed to, and this bizarre gift gives them the chance to indulge in an ultimate culinary taboo without paying the price of gastrointestinal illness. Also, they’re delicious.
If you’re looking for a subtle way to tell them that they always have spinach in their teeth, look no further than these whisky flavored toothpicks. On the plus side, you’ll no longer have to look at the salad growing in their mouth. On the downside, their breath will smell faintly of Scotch forevermore.
Flying can be scary for a lot of people: the turbulence, the fact that their lives are dependent on a giant tube of metal they don’t understand, and worst of all, the chance they might end up sitting next to a baby. Help them make it through the experience with a Tom Collins, Bloody Mary, or Moscow Mule. It's a little gift that can make a huge difference when they're feeling like popping that emergency exit and bailing out mid-flight.
Want a stocking stuffer that will totally boggle their mind? Give them these confusing tablets that temporarily alter taste buds. Balsamic vinegar? Suddenly delicious! Their holiday gin and bitter lemon? Tastes just like lemonade! These tablets, made from the West African miracle berry, alter taste perception by turning sour flavors to sweet. Guaranteed to confuse, worry, and astound everyone that tries them.
Along with abundance comes the responsibility not to bore the crap out of people by making the same silly casserole every night. The problem is that nobody wants to think that much about food. They just want to eat. Place the burden of creativity - and blame - on these ingenious foodie dice, and watch the possibilities multiply.
Just give slip it in their stocking anonymously. Don’t make a big deal about it, or give them diet books or a lecture or anything like that. They know. They have figured out for themselves that their body is not quite the well-tuned machine that it once was. Just give the Fitbit, and leave the rest to them.
Generally speaking, the last person in the room who needs more wine is the person who’s already gone feet up. But as long as that posture signals relaxation and not unconsciousness, it’s probably fine. There may be a moral grey area, but that’s not your problem. This is the perfect stocking stuffer for the most shameless of winos.
It used to be the only way to smell like your favorite alcohol was to get so drunk it came out of your pores. Although a few people have probably tried using whiskey as cologne, too. Thank god someone finally came up with a better solution. Beer soap uses real craft beer ingredients to make rich, fragrant soap that not only smells great but nourishes your skin with natural vitamins and nutrients.
If you’re going to do something, do it the right way. That goes for buying a knife too. The last thing you want is to be in a life and death situation and have to say, “If only I had a fine-toothed miniature saw and I knew what time it was.” This pocket knife has you covered on both fronts. The only way we could imagine this knife being more loaded is if they added a miniature cannon or gave it time travel capabilities. The perfect stocking stuffer for the survivalist who likes that extra layer of security against that “what-ifs”.
Standard hotels are convenient and something of a social institution, but when it comes down to it they’re all the same, except that in the cheaper ones the desk clerks are a little creepier and the maids are drunker. Airbnb takes the predictability out of travel lodging and replaces it with an endless variety of unique experiences. It's a little gift that may lead to a big story.
If given the choice of any imaginable superpower, not many would choose “magnetic wrists.” Except, perhaps, carpenters. And the world would look upon them skeptically, until they tried out one of these magnetic wristbands for themselves. Thankfully, in a world where real superpowers are hard to come by, you can now get your own magnetic wrist for pretty cheap. And better yet, it can be removed at any time, so you’re not collecting stray parts as you go about your day. Simple technology beats superpowers every time.
Believe it or not, these days gifting shares of stock is as easy as buying a gift card or ordering a certificate online. Stockpile is the leader in this category, and they offer the absolute simplest way to give someone stock in any one of a long list of major corporations. All you do is choose which company you want to buy stock from, load a certain amount of money onto the gift card, and you’re done. You can have a physical card mailed to you, or you can have it delivered through email to either you or the recipient.
They may have achieved elite Girl Scout or Boy Scout status when they were younger, but that badge-covered sash won’t be able to save them from a sinking car. Forget cookies — today’s scouts should be peddling these life-saving gadgets instead. Foolproof and dependable, this indispensable car accessory packs a mean punch and won’t disappoint when imminent danger strikes.
The most important things in a person’s life aren’t things at all. They’re memories, experiences and relationships. This clever game is designed to help them recall stories and memories they haven’t thought of in years, and is a great way to reflect on the crazy path that has gotten them where they are today.
If you enjoy the world-renowned photography of National Geographic, you’re going to love this calendar. Walmart may be a historic case-study in ruthless bottom-line economics, but it’s most remarkable as the central gathering place for the rarest specimens of rural America. Darwin may have reconsidered his fancy theory if he had one of these handy.
Bunster’s Shit the Bed Hot Sauce is a mix of super-hot chilies and healthy superfoods (like goji berries and apple cider vinegar). It’s also a crowdfunding phenomenon and a painfully delicious gift for any health-conscious masochist you might know. There are lots of gourmet hot sauces out there, but this one is unique and strange in a way that true hot sauce connoisseurs find irresistible. Their mouth is bound to have a love-hate relationship with this stuff.
Why is it so hard to judge the correct amount of spaghetti noodles to cook? It’s not like we haven’t done this a million times. For whatever reason, the human mind cannot solve this equation. Luckily there’s no need with this handy tool that can measure standard portions for people and even those who are so hungry they could eat a horse.
The classic party game where everyone either reveals reputation-demolishing secrets about their past or shamelessly lies to save face. Depending on the temperament of the various participants, it can make for an hour or so of good-natured ribbing, or it can devolve into closet doors being flung open to reveal hideous skeletons beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. In other words, it’s rip-roaring fun. But depending on your own personal history, you may want to sit this one out.
If you’re looking for a simple techie gadget that will really blow their hair back, this might be just the thing. A single led-studded fan blade creates a hologram-like clock face as it twirls through the air - cooling your room, telling the time, and blowing everyone’s mind all at once. Is it a physical metaphor playing on the idea that time is an illusion? A piece of alien technology? No, it’s really just a cool little gadget, even if it seems like it’s specially designed to freak out cats.
Part of the enjoyment of drinking a black and tan is the visual aspect. When the two beers blend together it just looks like someone screwed up at the Guinness brewery. This is the kind of thing you care about when proclaim to be a beer connoisseur. Here's a little gift that can at least help him look like he knows what he's doing.
The perfect gift for the person who’s always getting lost in the dark, tripping down the stairs on their way back from the bathroom, or struggling to summon The Batman, the light from this flashlight is visible from five nautical miles away. They’ll never need to fear the Joker again!
There are a small but important set of emergencies that can only be rectified with a clown nose. This has been demonstrated time and time again in hospitals rooms across the world. Sadly, there’s no money in clown noses, so big pharma keeps us in the dark.
Know someone who’s had a lot of close calls? Celebrate it with this bullet-embedded shot glass. A strong reminder that you never know which direction the next shitstorm is coming from, and you never know what shape it’s going to take. You might as well live it up now while you can.
These whimsical corn holders are precisely what every wiener dog enthusiast has been missing. With these perky fellas cobs will be spinning and satisfying hungry appetites for hours on end. No need to sniff aimlessly around gift shops, hunting down the perfect stocking stuffer. Follow the tracks of these hounds and delight a dachshund lover this year!
Everyone knows that idle hands are the devil’s playground. And if they don’t know, they find out soon enough. So fidget toys are kind of like a modern, commercial age anti-Satanic technology, like hanging garlic to ward off vampires. And these toys are for the connoisseurs of fidgeting, those who won’t be satisfied with doing the same pen trick over and over again, or passing their brief hours on this earth playing with a rudimentary fidget spinner. No, the high-end fidgeter requires variety and challenge; these collections offer both.
We are intelligent survivors by nature. Despite its ominous name, a worst case scenario can be a lot of fun, provided you have the tools available to pull a MacGyver-like exit. This little kit can save someone’s life over and over again. Check that, only their primal genius can save their life. But this lends a helping hand.
Since the dawn of time, chaos, terror, and death have periodically rained down from the sky. Only the lucky were spared. But now we have weather radios, so you can go inside instead of dying. This one also conveniently charges your phone with a hand crank and some elbow grease, so the next hurricane doesn’t have to interrupt your game of angry birds.
In a world where deadlines are king, why not focus on a finish line that’s really worth celebrating? Retirement! They'll keep their eye on the prize with this optimistic ticker that will drive them to accomplish bigger and better things at work. Imagine the sweet silence of no alarm in the wee hours of the morning. Retirement will feel like it’s always right around the corner.
This year, when they say they want nothing, make their day by getting them just that. Among this gift’s many wonderful attributes is that it never runs out - so it’s always there, always in the same condition in which you bought it. It also never breaks, can’t be stolen, needs no virtual updates, has no hidden costs or fees, and may or may not be the source of everything (we haven’t yet confirmed). In so many ways, the perfect stocking stuffer is nothing at all.
Most people think you have to get dirty in order to make money, but the inventors of money soap want you to know that’s just a cynical myth. In fact, they want you to know that sometimes the fastest and easiest way to make money is to get really clean. For anyone who needs a little encouragement to get in the shower, a nice fat bar of soap with a rolled up treasury note in the middle should do the trick.
Drinking coffee is for amateurs: give the gift of intense doses of chewable caffeine. Help them run marathons, finish difficult projects, and—if they eat too many—question if their eye is supposed to be twitching. As a bonus to you, if you ever need to paint your house, get them on board – they can see way more colors than you can now.
This stocking stuffer gives them actual legal ownership of a tiny piece of a real Scottish castle, which means they have the legal right to call themselves a Laird or Lady. It’s a perfect boost to their ego, instant bragging rights, and endless opportunities to make them try a Scottish accent. When you add next year’s gift of a kilt to the mix, the transformation will be complete.
We’re not saying you should buy someone a South African Gold Krugerrand for 1300 bucks or whatever it is - though that would be an incredible stocking stuffer, holy crap - just that precious metal coins are fun to have. You can get an American Silver Eagle for like $20, and it’s almost as cool.
Technology has become so magically efficient and powerful that we now have to resort to corny metaphors and groan-worthy puns just to keep people interested. Case in point: this thumb drive in the shape of…you guessed it, a human thumb. But it’s more than just a gag gift - it actually holds 8 gigabytes of data. So if you were trying to decide between this and a clown nose, remember that the clown nose doesn’t really hold anything.
Back in the old days you were really rolling the dice when you chose a hotel. Either you called blindly after skimming the phone book or simply drove all night and hoped you saw a vacancy sign before you ran out of gas and got murdered by a vagrant. A hotel gift card is not just a way of picking up the tab for a night’s stay; it’s also the priceless gift of peace of mind.
Of all the common complaints people have about their jobs - long hours, impossible expectations, a boss who can't be pleased - lunch theft is one of the most vexing. There's likely nothing they can do about many of these issues, but they can at least protect their lunch. Food Theft Deterrent Labels are a simple way to keep those would-be food pirates at bay. Because food theft is just plain wrong. It's a violation of basic decency and an absurd problem to add to the list of challenges they face at work.
The perfect gag gift for the jokester looking to make a fresh start in life (or just pretend to), Imposter Cards will make them seem like the most interesting person at the party. This pack of 48 fake business cards includes 12 curious alter egos (4 of each) that demand explanation. They make a first impression that truly lasts, and are a great way to strike up a conversation. Or end one.