Home Beer Brewing Kit
Craft brewing has definitely taken over the beer industry. But with so many microbreweries and so much competition, it sometimes gets hard to keep up. And who knows what to make of the bizarre varieties taking over liquor store shelves? Orange pickled hibiscus springtime lager? Porcupine quill Mongolian stout? Good lord. Time to look into the homebrew options.
Okay, so they can’t really tell anybody when they’re going to die. But they can measure cell aging based on things you’ve probably never heard of and don’t need to know about. A vital new way to measure health and lifestyle-related longevity. Much more reliable than that palm reader at the state fair.
Whether it’s Charlotte’s Web, Hamlet or Harry Potter, a first edition of their favorite book is sure to top the gifting charts. In the past, you’d scour bookshops, eventually stumbling across a kindly old bookseller, who’d take pity on your plight, and climb a rickety ladder, to dust off a long-lost volume... nowadays, we have the Internet.
Don’t say bucket list. Don’t say “while you still can” when making the plans. This is supposed to be fun, not somber. Just plan a trip, somewhere you know they’ve always wanted to go and never had the chance. Make it happen. Have a wonderful time. And do it again and again.
This doesn’t have to be awkward. Yes, you are giving someone, as a 50th birthday gift, something they will use for pooping. It’s OK. Then someday you’ll say, “Hey, you, uh, you ever use that Squatty Potty?” They’ll look horrified for a half a second, but then they’ll crack a quick smile and say, “Yeah, actually. It’s great. Thanks.” Then you never speak of it again.
The 50th birthday is probably the last time you can get away with “over the hill” jokes. From here on in, these kinds of jokes will sound more like observations. Take advantage of your last chance to pick on the old guy by putting together a basket of embarrassing senior citizen’s products like prune juice, orthopedic shoe inserts, hemorrhoid cream, Metamucil, Depends diapers, Beano, and reading glasses.
Get out, go to a concert, see a show, watch a game. Have a great time. Nothing fancy here, just tickets to something fun. Get a pair of tickets and either go with them or send them along with the person of their choice. Even if the event isn’t happening for several months, they’ll still enjoy looking forward to going.
Is the birthday guy or gal planning some home remodeling? No need for expensive contractors - with these giant legos they can build it themselves. This gift will rekindle their childhood imagination and provide them with the pride of actually building something they use. Perhaps a lego kitchen island or coffee table would be just the thing to bring their decor together?
Sleeping in space is not as easy as one might think, which is why NASA invented this lightbulb that promotes melatonin production by taking the blue out of the spectrum of light it produces. Help your favorite 50 year-old get a proper night’s sleep with this scientifically proven gift.