Amazon Prime Membership
We think the word is out on how great an Amazon Prime membership is. The free shipping on millions of products? That giant video library? Sign us up! No, seriously, sign us up. Please? And you should sign someone you love up as a 30th birthday gift too while you’re at it.
Only a complete tool gives an empty toolbox as a gift. We know you’re better than that, and you know it too. Enter the Loaded Toolbox — the prime companion of the jack of all trades. This is the classic entry level gift, the rite of passage into handyman or handywoman-hood. Life is a long journey full of creaky door hinges, rusty bolts, and other mechanical nuisances. Give them the tools they need — literally — to navigate this unforgiving landscape.
A normal magic wand makes things disappear. This one makes them appear on your doorstep, though it takes a couple of days. That’s how magic works in the digital age: it’s a little slower, but it gets you stuff you actually want. The old magic just got you a rabbit or something and left you confused. They’ll like this a lot more.
Polaroids may be dead, but the people who like to use them aren’t. Not all of them anyway. There’s something especially gratifying about holding a tangible photograph, especially in a world dominated by virtual commodities where everything is becoming digital. Having an instant printer on hand means they don’t have to wait for a photo printing company to print their photos from the cloud and mail them by horseback or whatever. And we all know that nobody has time to wait for a horse these days. Oh, and we should also mention: these look way better than Polaroids.
Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom - as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album - will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.
Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
Certain small items like keys, wallet, and sunglasses have a bad habit of getting lost when they’re most needed, so it’s nice to have a dedicated spot for them. Ikea probably has a solution for that, but for the love of god, it’s time to stop relying on the Swedish to solve all of your problems. This nice man in Oregon put together a very unique bowl that would look great on someone’s coffee table.
This birthday, why not give them a bouquet of something they actually want – like the chance to win the lottery and retire early to travel the world in a super yacht! Plus, if they win, they’re sure to share their millions with you, right? Right?? Jon, can you hear me, you seem to be sailing in the other direction…?
A thirty year-old should have learned a thing or two about how to do stuff the best, cleverest, or most efficient ways, but some people aren’t as quick on the uptake as others. For them, there’s this book. They can learn all the tips and tricks their quicker cohorts have figured out for themselves.