Instructions for Life
No matter how smart they are, or think they are, this book is sure to fill in some of the gaps. 500 gaps actually. They’ll be so well-rounded and informed that they’ll cruise through life with grace, knowing that when the time comes, they can perform CPR, dance the tango, and successfully fight off a shark.
Have some stupid good fun at the 18th birthday party with a few rounds of Water Balloon Russian Roulette. Then, after everyone has finally lost the game, solemnly ponder the fragility of life, and remember that no one is invincible.
This is kind of an irresponsible gift to give to an 18 year old since it is traditionally a drinking game, but there’s no need to actually tell them that. There is also a lot of things an 18 year old has not had the chance to do yet. Bad or good, this gift might give them some ideas.
Every college freshman in the dorm will want to throw away their Starry Night posters when they get a load of this beauty. The Digital Art Museum can display that masterpiece plus thousands of other still and moving images. Cycle through with a swipe or the dedicated app. Turn a dorm room into the Lourve!
A normal magic wand makes things disappear. This one makes them appear on your doorstep, though it takes a couple of days. That’s how magic works in the digital age: it’s a little slower, but it gets you stuff you actually want. The old magic just got you a rabbit or something and left you confused. They’ll like this a lot more.
Think fast: what did you get for your birthday two years ago? Chances are, if it was an object of some sort, you’ve already forgotten. Things break, things get lost, things get boring. But experiences change us, make us more complete, give us stories to tell. We remember them forever. Don’t give a thing. Give a memory.
Lots of people have let a kid scratch off a lottery ticket, but kids can’t actually claim the money, of course. Celebrate the legal right to make dubious gambling decisions by giving them a selection of lottery tickets that probably won’t win. Or they just might! It could happen!
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
Look, soap is great. Nobody’s denying that. But you have to realize that while it does make you clean, it doesn’t accomplish the one thing that so many people wish it did: cover them in chocolate. For obvious reasons, however, being covered in chocolate is a somewhat dubious goal. After all, they would have to wash it off right away to avoid getting it on the furniture. This chocolate soap is the perfect compromise: they get to cover themselves in chocolate and somehow get cleaner at the same time. And wow, it really smells good too.