Blue Apron Subscription
Now that they’ve got a little more time on their hands, they can master that whole cooking thing. Of course, that doesn’t mean they have to do it all on their own. A Blue Apron subscription means the right ingredients get delivered straight to their door, so they can set about making meals that would impress a chef, even if the only chef they know is Boyardee.
People still get pensions? Retirement is the BEST. Give the gift of smug satisfaction with one of these novelty mugs and glasses that tells the world your favorite retiree is kicking back, forgetting about all the stress, and still getting paid every month.
Bobbleheads were cool at sometime in the past, apparently, but not anymore. We realize this. But consider that the same is probably true for a person just entering retirement. Cool a long time ago, now not so much. Well the gift should match the recipient, right? It just makes sense.
It can be dicey to rely on your 401k or social security check these days. Better fortify them right off the bat with a little old fashioned green paper money. It may not grow on trees, but you sure as hell can put it there yourself. They’re not going to give a damn, as long as they’re the ones doing the pickin’.
Once you’ve got a few (hundred thousand) miles on your bones, low-impact exercise is the way to go. A swim routine is the best tonic for those aching, sagging muscles. But old people tend to get lost easily, so you probably don’t want to drop them at the lake and let them swim off. Better to find a nice pool with a little bit of supervision.
Give the gift of beauty with a piece of original artwork from Artsy. These are not prints. This is the real thing, suitable for mature adults with refined tastes, like a retired person is supposed to have. Of course, some of the stuff here maybe isn’t all that refined, but at least it is original.
What a way to walk off into the sunset! These fashionable flip-flops allow the new retiree to leave a trail of words like breadcrumbs down the beach beckoning one and all to follow along and bring some suds to share.
This is the old people version of buying them their own pool cue. Like every game of chance, bingo is ruled by the secret and unfathomable rubric of superstition. Using a borrowed dauber is like spitting in the face of the lottery gods. Not a good idea.
The good life is all about quality over quantity. Or maybe it’s about quality and quantity. We’re not here to argue. If they still want to swill down cheap rotgut wine by the box, nobody’s going to stop them. It’s their life, not yours. But here’s a great way to broaden their horizons once a month by introducing them to the stuff that’s popular with the people who don’t mix their chardonnay with diet sprite.