Car Emergency Escape Tool
Probably the kind of gift that will get an initial reaction of a raised eyebrow and a ‘gee… thanks’, your coworker will take it all back if they ever get trapped in a car. Also, if they end up leaving your place to pursue that career in escapology they’ve always dreamed of. Hey, even Houdini had to start somewhere!
Be that guy. Use these time-tested techniques to appear smarter in meetings - without even trying! Topics include “how to nod and pace” and “what to do with your face.” This fabulously snarky book is sure to appeal to those who are familiar with the corporate drudgery of relentless, inane meetings.
Are you changing jobs soon and want to leave behind a legacy of disorder and cascading revenge? Give this book to the person at the office you hate least and let them unleash a reign of terror and annoyance. A perfect bridge burner.
Show them who’s boss...but not too obviously, of course. Wreak passive-aggressive havoc with this walk-by game board. Settle disagreements, prove them wrong, and earn bragging rights, all without even saying a word...but no cheating!
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
Hear ye, Hear ye! Guess who just got promoted…to King Arthur’s Knighted Workers of the Round Table! With Excalibur by their side, they’ll rule the office, command respect at staff meetings and restore order to their cubicle. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to grasp greatness. Will they accept the challenge?
Transport your co-workers to a tropical land where soft sand cushions their overworked feet and salty air tickles their senses. Feel the warm breeze caress the cheek and listen to the gentle waves lapping along the shoreline. Achieve calmness, serenity and purpose inside the confines of the office cubicle. Frolic in the sand and let the stress of work float away. Life really is a beach!
Everyone loves a gift that keeps on giving. Not only is this treasure trove a conversation starter, it’s perfect for re-gifting! Pass it around the office for all those special occasions and pay the rewards forward. The luck never runs out on this winner. Everyone needs a diversion at work and maybe, just maybe today’s your lucky day!
Nothing is more important to company productivity than morale. And nothing raises morale better than acknowledging the real triumphs and heroics that make up the everyday life of an indentured office servant. There are no dragons to slay in the corporate world. The real battles are fought in small, desperate spaces like the sterile, suffocating environs of the meeting room. These things should not go unsaid.