Custom Made Jewelry
Not a last-minute gift, but for people who plan ahead, custom made jewelry is sure to earn you some serious brownie points with your 50-year-old. Perhaps their favorite band logo would make a nice brooch, or their pet budgies would look good as earrings. You’ve always thought taxidermy was underrated… just kidding!
The 50th birthday is probably the last time you can get away with “over the hill” jokes. From here on in, these kinds of jokes will sound more like observations. Take advantage of your last chance to pick on the old guy by putting together a basket of embarrassing senior citizen’s products like prune juice, orthopedic shoe inserts, hemorrhoid cream, Metamucil, Depends diapers, Beano, and reading glasses.
Is the birthday guy or gal planning some home remodeling? No need for expensive contractors - with these giant legos they can build it themselves. This gift will rekindle their childhood imagination and provide them with the pride of actually building something they use. Perhaps a lego kitchen island or coffee table would be just the thing to bring their decor together?
There is a chance they might be underwhelmed when they realize that they themselves will have to cook the dinner(s) you bought for them, but only up until they actually follow along with Blue Apron’s clear easy instructions and eat their delicious, gourmet food. Then they won’t stop thanking you.
A person who’s just hitting 50 has learned a lot over the years, so why would they need a book like this? Because, just like in other sorts of technology, people never stop devising newer and better ways of doing even mundane everyday tasks. This book is state of the art.
What hard working person has not at one time wished for a warm-blooded giant to place his hands on their shoulders and ease their weary muscles? That was the inspiration behind this cordless neck and shoulder heat wrap. Aches and pains simply melt away under its heavenly influence, and with a maximum temperature of 120 degrees, it reaches the really deep muscles that no giant can soothe without inflicting skeletal injury.
By the time a person gets to fifty, they’ve probably experienced at least a few health problems and injuries. But now they’re getting older, these will start to multiply. They’ll need to be afraid. Very afraid. Their only chance is to keep this book with them, like a talisman, and consult it constantly.
By their 50th birthday, they’ve probably managed to acquire some decent jewelry. Maybe not a lot, but some, and good enough that they want to keep it clean and nice. So instead of giving them another gold bracelet, perhaps this Jewelry Steam Cleaner would be a prudent gift.
This is the real stuff. You don’t start off drinking 50 year old whisky. No, you buy the cheap stuff, then maybe the fancier stuff, and once in a while the good stuff comes your way. But a liquor that’s aged for 50 years, like a human, is on a whole other level. This has to be earned by living.