A strange, ink-like friend who lives in a jar, and can be disfigured and distorted with magnets for your own weird fascination? You just know this is the perfect co-worker gift for that guy down the corridor who still lives in his mom’s basement and likes to tell anyone who’ll listen about his ‘experiments’.
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
Are you changing jobs soon and want to leave behind a legacy of disorder and cascading revenge? Give this book to the person at the office you hate least and let them unleash a reign of terror and annoyance. A perfect bridge burner.
Show them who’s boss...but not too obviously, of course. Wreak passive-aggressive havoc with this walk-by game board. Settle disagreements, prove them wrong, and earn bragging rights, all without even saying a word...but no cheating!
People get pretty picky about their hot sauces, which probably sounds weird if you’re not a spice-lover yourself. But it’s true – and blending their own would be like Chili Pepper Nirvana. Just be careful at the next office potluck… that’s some next-level sauce and they’re going to promise “oh, it’s not that hot.”
Oh no, you didn’t. You bet your voodoo doll we did! It’s time to release those pent-up thoughts and feelings of frustration that are clogging your mind so you can achieve clarity at work. Not only is it healthy to project your angst onto an inanimate object, but it’s extremely entertaining! Let go of what’s bogging you down and play a little. Dabble in the dark side and clear the air at work. You might be surprised at the results!
Gone are the days when a notepad with a holographic cover and dividers was the height of note-taking style. Treat your co-worker to a digital notepad and save them hours of typing up scribbled notes, struggling to decipher their own handwriting. Also, great for doodling on when the 3pm slump hits!
Transport your co-workers to a tropical land where soft sand cushions their overworked feet and salty air tickles their senses. Feel the warm breeze caress the cheek and listen to the gentle waves lapping along the shoreline. Achieve calmness, serenity and purpose inside the confines of the office cubicle. Frolic in the sand and let the stress of work float away. Life really is a beach!
Most importantly, note that this is a dual-slot machine. Anybody who’s not wholly and purely evil would love the gift of fresh, on-demand ice cream at their desk, but here’s a ProTip: save this one for someone whose office isn’t too far away from yours. Just saying.