Fish Training Kit
Show your weird friend that they are the weirdest kind of weird by giving them the tools to train a goldfish to play basketball and soccer. Yes, you read that right. With a little diligence it is possible to teach a fish some tricks. If you immediately know who you would give this to, you owe it to yourself to make this happen.
Get your player piano out of here! This amazing device is 17 instruments in one. That’s an entire band! And not a small one either! It stores 13,000 songs in 10 categories, features a 15” touchscreen interface, and is housed in a magnificent oak cabinet that is a work of art all its own.
Many, many people slaved away making these lollipops under great duress. They’re called confectioners, and they have a very stressful job. No, these aren’t really made from breast milk, so if you were excited that you found the perfect gift for that pervert you know, you might want to keep looking. Of course you don’t have to tell them they’re not real.
Your golfing buddy can drink beer on the course without having to hide in the rough with this novelty club. Golfers can hide their short game under a "privacy towel" while they drain their personal water hazard. Give the gift of peace of mind this season.
Yes, we are talking about actual, for real radioactive, uranium ore. It’s nothing you could make a bomb from, we’re pretty sure, but point a Geiger counter at it and your friend is sure to get that uncomfortable “is this thing going to give me cancer?” feeling we all love to hate. Probably don’t give this one to your roommate.
We all have that one friend. The one who can never seem to find that steady relationship. The one with a cat or two. And then three. And four. The one who starts to show up to parties, on the rare occasions she does show up, increasingly covered in cat hair. This book. This book is for her.
Give them the gift of their own personal Finland with this hot and steamy portable sauna. There’s nothing weird about rejuvenating mind and body in the comfort of home, while head and hands are free to hold a book and read outside the heat - it just looks a little weird. Okay, maybe more than a little.
Your friend or loved one may have already started to suspect something about the inherent absurd futility of life. If not, then perhaps you can inform them with this gift, which is an extraordinarily apt illustration of the horrifying predicament in which we the living find ourselves. Doing exactly what it says on the package, this box has no purpose other than to instantly turn itself ‘off’ when you try to turn it ‘on’. Despite being useless, we have to admit it does have a certain charm.
This bizarre cuckoo clock features characters from every weirdo’s favorite holiday movie, “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jack Skellington, his ghost dog Zero, and friends from Halloweentown play the song “This Is Halloween” every hour.