Grow the F*ck Up
The ultimate guide to what you should have taught them already, with a title that communicates what you can’t bring yourself to say out loud. The world may be a nicer place than the one you grew up in, but it still can’t help punishing dumbasses. Help an 18 year old get it together.
This quite literally one-of-a-kind gift is an art quality print of a most personal nature: DNA. A simple cheek swab is sequenced and displayed as vibrantly colored bands on a dark background. No two are ever alike. Except maybe twins? Not sure. Also not sure how you’ll get that cheek swab, good luck on that.
Draft them into the Swiss Army on their 18th birthday by giving them a tool that will hold up and be used for the rest of their life. Find the one with the perfect mix of tools and size for them, and it will be a part of their life forever.
18th birthday parties tend not to feature clowns entertaining the kids who attend, but that’s no reason to think an 18 year-old doesn’t like balloon animals. Acknowledge that they’re still a kid at heart and respect their new adult sophistication with this fine-art version of the classic balloon dog.
Have some stupid good fun at the 18th birthday party with a few rounds of Water Balloon Russian Roulette. Then, after everyone has finally lost the game, solemnly ponder the fragility of life, and remember that no one is invincible.
Concerts and sporting events have gotten pretty expensive lately. Too expensive, probably, for someone just turning 18 to be able to afford on their part-time, minimum wage job. That’s where you come in. Check to see if a favorite band, comedian, or sports team is playing soon and treat them to a pair of tix.
Think fast: what did you get for your birthday two years ago? Chances are, if it was an object of some sort, you’ve already forgotten. Things break, things get lost, things get boring. But experiences change us, make us more complete, give us stories to tell. We remember them forever. Don’t give a thing. Give a memory.
It looks like Virtual Reality might finally really be a real thing. That’s what they say at least. Apparently, the technology has arrived, and it’s gonna be big. They do say that. And you know what? We actually tried one of these recently. They’re pretty incredible. Like for real.
18 year-olds are legally adults, but take one to an amusement park and anyone can see they’re still kids at heart. This is a birthday present neither of you will forget as you ride rides or slide slides without a care in the world.