Don’t send your precious kin off to school without one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they’re from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they’ll know approximately where to send them.
Here is a compilation of tips, tricks, hints and advice for the college bound student. For example, did you know that instead of taking a shower and cleaning up their dorm room they can spread dry tea bags around to absorb the odor? Or instead of keeping their shoes off the coffee table they can use oil and vinegar to get the scratches out. There are lots of useful ideas in here that can help one navigate through these challenging years of academics and hygiene.
Time to do some studying before you arrive on campus. Get some sage advice on how to avoid the most common pitfalls of college freshmanhood, from someone who’s been there and done that. They’ll sit back and laugh at their classmates as their lives unravel.
They will make lots of friends in college, and some of them will be grimy as hell. Their roommates’ friends will be even worse. And their roommates will possibly be worse still. This handheld vacuum not only leaves everything it touches spotless, it eliminates most of the things you don’t want to catch while sitting on the couch or walking across the bathroom floor.
This giant bean bag is big enough for two, but it’s so comfortable they may not want to share it. Study in luxury or take a long nap between exams. Either way, we promise they’ll find a use for this that they soon can’t live without. But beware: just like their last questionable relationship, people have been known to disappear into these for months.
Wouldn’t those eggs look better with their gorgeous face next to them? Any photograph can be converted into a template that will burn their beautiful mug right into every piece of bread that goes in the toaster. Fret no more, narcissism doesn’t have to wait until after breakfast.
This white noise machine makes sleeping in even the most raucous frat house a breeze. Compact and fully adjustable, it will drown out the sound of their roommates playing beer pong, dancing, yelling, or doing whatever fun activity they have decided to forego out of a sense of responsibility to their future.
Studies show that short naps can significantly improve mental performance. Here is their very own plush, portable head enclosure, so no matter where they are, they can take a nap so peaceful they’ll be angry that they woke up. Angry and smart as hell.
God, do we even have to explain this one? It’s unlikely you remember a single house party from your college days where something or someone did not end up aflame. Or maybe you didn’t go to a state school. But it’s always better safe than sorry. Even more, better safe than on fire.