I Love You Bean
The I Love You Bean is just a normal lima bean that you plant in some dirt. You water it and put it in the sun, and you wait for it to sprout. But when it does, the little bean sprout has the words “I Love You” printed right there on the side. It’s a little bit of get well magic you can grow.
Smell is considered by many researchers to be the most powerful sense. This is bad news the day after your roommate “wins” the chili eating contest at the county fair, but great news if you know how to use aromatherapy to manipulate your mood and create a better atmosphere for relaxation and healing.
You and everyone you know can send messages of health and wellness nicely packaged in your choice of custom-made boxes. Flatterbox (a box full of compliments) is a wonderful way to tell them all the good things their friends think about them, and is the perfect way to pick them up when they are down.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and Netflix is crammed full of comedies to help someone in recovery get well faster. But if they would rather watch torture movies and slasher films with people getting disemboweled and whatnot, they’ve got that too. Whatever makes them feel better.
Everyone’s heard the phrase, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Typically, this is nothing but a trick used to make the act of backstabbing easier. Luckily, technology being what it is, you almost never have to rely on anybody else anymore. This telescoping back scratcher lets even the most immobile sufferer get to that nasty itch. It’s a get well gift that helps them look out for #1.
Some people talk with their hands, and everyone finds this very annoying and distracting. These socks allow the wearer to talk with their feet, all from the universally non-threatening reclined position. And best of all, unlike when your uncle Giuseppe gets excited, nobody has to worry about losing an eye.
It’s nice to have the option to get an endless massage from somebody whose hands never get tired. And you don’t have to worry about being a captive audience to some godawful boring story or suffer through ten minutes of vomit-inducing garlic breath. Machines do it better.
Cuddle with the enemy with this box of giant plush microbes. The doctors will do a double take when they see a macro-sized Epstein-Barr Virus on the bed next to a Penicillium chrysogenum bacteria. Fair warning: there’s also a sperm and egg pair.
Bonsai is the ancient art of cultivating miniature versions of shrubbery or trees through careful maintenance. Bonsai are sometimes grown for hundreds of years, shaped by different owners over multiple generations. But don’t be intimidated, nobody’s asking your gift recipient to make that kind of commitment. Many people consider growing a bonsai tree to be a highly meditative and spiritual process, and other people just think they look really cool. If you know someone with a green thumb who’s going to be stuck around the house for a while, this could be a great companion.