I Love You Bean
The I Love You Bean is just a normal lima bean that you plant in some dirt. You water it and put it in the sun, and you wait for it to sprout. But when it does, the little bean sprout has the words “I Love You” printed right there on the side. It’s a little bit of get well magic you can grow.
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In reality this translates to, “I’m a hopeless klutz, but nobody thinks I’m important enough to throw someone else down the stairs in my place,” but that would probably take up both sides of the shirt. And part of being a good friend involves making people proud of their shortcomings. This get well gift kind of makes them feel like a badass for busting their sh*t.
Don’t you find it ironic that even though tens of thousands of years have passed, and countless technological innovations stand between us and our hunter-gatherer ancestors, many of us now have to go even farther to get our food? There’s something backward here. But as the modern digital age has taught us, the Internet fixes everything. And nobody who’s recovering from an injury or illness wants to go out and collect their food. This is how the modern tribe takes care of their members in need.
It’s nice to have the option to get an endless massage from somebody whose hands never get tired. And you don’t have to worry about being a captive audience to some godawful boring story or suffer through ten minutes of vomit-inducing garlic breath. Machines do it better.
Good vibes are the secret medicine of the Universe. Anyone who is ailing needs as much of it as they can get, and here is a whole month’s dose in the form of 31 individually-wrapped miniature notes full of caring and encouragement. Show someone you care about that no matter what they’re recovering from, they’re not in it alone. This is the kind of medicine that goes down easy, with only one side effect - happiness. Choose from ready-made sets with messages already included, blank cards that you can fill in yourself, or Kindnotes will custom print your personalized set and jar.
Some people talk with their hands, and everyone finds this very annoying and distracting. These socks allow the wearer to talk with their feet, all from the universally non-threatening reclined position. And best of all, unlike when your uncle Giuseppe gets excited, nobody has to worry about losing an eye.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and Netflix is crammed full of comedies to help someone in recovery get well faster. But if they would rather watch torture movies and slasher films with people getting disemboweled and whatnot, they’ve got that too. Whatever makes them feel better.
There are a small but important set of emergencies that can only be rectified with a clown nose. This has been demonstrated time and time again in hospitals rooms across the world. Sadly, there’s no money in clown noses, so big pharma keeps us in the dark.
We all have the urge to make chicken soup for a sick loved one, but that’s hard to do if you live hundreds or thousands of miles away. Enter the Spoonful of Comfort. They will deliver a basket containing gourmet soup, bread, cookies, a personalized note, and even a ladle. It’s the next best thing to doing yourself.