This book will take the brakes off their life by teaching them how to get around all kinds of everyday annoyances, so they can free up their mind for more important decisions, like what to write on their roommate’s face while he’s asleep, and whether to wear that same pair of jeans for the 37th day in a row.
This shiny, meticulously crafted piece of fine art is so beautiful and weird that it will fit in absolutely anywhere. Their little sister will think it’s hilarious, their friends will be confused but impressed, and their art teacher will recognize them as a true connoisseur. Time to level up their art game.
The most important innovation in motorized vehicles since the Model T, at least. This is just a car without all of the parts you don’t care about, at a tiny fraction of the cost. Live in style and let everyone know about it.
God, do we even have to explain this one? It’s unlikely you remember a single house party from your college days where something or someone did not end up aflame. Or maybe you didn’t go to a state school. But it’s always better safe than sorry. Even more, better safe than on fire.
Most people don’t understand the technical side of beer pouring, or beer consumption for that matter. Display your nerdhood proudly for all to see, and let everyone know you speak the language. These glasses send a clear message: get with the program.
Time to do some studying before you arrive on campus. Get some sage advice on how to avoid the most common pitfalls of college freshmanhood, from someone who’s been there and done that. They’ll sit back and laugh at their classmates as their lives unravel.
This white noise machine makes sleeping in even the most raucous frat house a breeze. Compact and fully adjustable, it will drown out the sound of their roommates playing beer pong, dancing, yelling, or doing whatever fun activity they have decided to forego out of a sense of responsibility to their future.
The market is saturated with college grads, and they’re going to need a backup plan. That plan is, and always has been, gold! While they’ve been drinking Keystone Light and playing X-Box (or worse, writing math problems and studying business plans), the smart folks have been in the hills filling up their pockets with precious metals. And having a blast doing it.
This high-tech notebook combines the best of cutting-edge technology and old fashioned pen and paper. Send notes directly to the cloud using the Rocketbook smartphone app, and erase the notebook for reuse up to five times using a microwave. For real. Now if you could only microwave away your long history of embarrassing Instagram posts.