Lobsters By Mail
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to have someone mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Nothing creates a sense of urgency like counting the seconds until the time when you can’t count the seconds anymore. The surest way to beat procrastination, this watch doesn’t let you off the hook. Strap it on someone’s wrist, give them a hearty slap on the rear, and tell them to get to work.
Vacuuming will no longer feel like a chore with this powerful canister strapped to their back. Liberating and sporty, this dust-defeating, crumb-eating soldier of suction is strictly reserved for today’s most ambitious and orderly housekeepers. The latest in domestic fitness regimens, this lightweight apparatus will strengthen their core while reducing unsightly nicks on walls and unnecessary scratches on floors. Tidiness redefined.
If you’ve ever suspected that you can’t trust your tongue, here’s proof. Adding volatile scents to these specialized forks completely changes the experience of eating, as your brain processes much more information through your nose than your tastebuds. Give this as a gift and help them have the weirdest, most surreal dinner parties in the neighborhood.
The thought of turning 40 may leave a bad taste in their mouth so they’ll be incredibly grateful for a gift that will make them a little less bitter about getting old. These clever little tablets make even the sourest of foods taste sweeter, though we can’t make any promises over whether or not this will sweeten their mood.
If they’re turning 40, they’ll have spent enough time in supermarkets to last a lifetime. Buy them a Costco membership and not only will you save them money, you’ll also be saving them time so they can start doing other exciting old people things instead, like gardening and bridge club. In fact, you might get really lucky with a jumbo pack of toilet roll as a thank you.
They’re bound to have a lot of questions as they turn 40 and however existential they turn out to be, we’re sure that Alexa will do her best to answer them. The Amazon Echo is a clever household helper that can tell you what the weather is going to be like tomorrow or the baseball score. It probably won’t be able to give them the secret to eternal youth, though it may be worth a shot.
They can’t quite put their finger on what they want for their birthday and you really don’t want to get it wrong because, let’s be honest, it’s not every day they turn 40. Solve the problem with a 3D Printer. That thing they forgot they needed? There in a flash and quicker than Amazon Prime.
Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom - as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album - will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.