Lobsters By Mail
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for your boss to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get creative. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Since nobody seems to be interested enough to invent an ever-lasting battery, it looks like we’re all stuck charging our phones every day for the foreseeable future. But before you throw you hands up in disgust and ask how it could possibly get worse, there is some good news. The same lazy, inconsiderate tech “geniuses” who refuse to make forever batteries have at least found the decency to create a little pad that charges smartphones without having to plug them in. And really, it’s the least they could do.
It’s tough to find a gift for your boss that they’ll actually use. Rather than throwing your money away on some doodad that they’ll pretend to like and feel obligated to display, why not put your money to good use instead? Make a donation in their name to a cause that is dear to them. It’s a classy gift that actually makes the world a better place, plus it’s tax deductible!
Being in charge can be stressful, and some bosses find themselves working 24/7 and never getting any time off. Give them a tiny little break from it all with this desktop Zen beach toy. They can run their fingers through the sand and dream of that getaway they've been missing.
For the coffee and donut addicts of the world, it’s hard to believe that anything could improve this heavenly pairing. But that will make it all the more mind-blowing when they realize you have indeed given them something that will take the experience to another level. This truly ingenious piece of kitchen/office-ware provides the perfect platform on which the two elements meet to create the true breakfast of champions. Because if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.
If you can’t contribute to your boss’ mental health and stability, you can at least contribute a substance that makes mental health and stability feel irrelevant for a little while. And of all those substances, wine is the most socially acceptable and has the richest history. These labels allow you to put your gift in the proper context, and carry a tacit apology wrapped in disarming humor. Even if they don’t forgive you, they’ll at least know you understand what you’ve done.
The necktie is the unsung, often mistreated hero of the sartorial world. While shirts, pants, and jackets all get their own specialized travel bags to keep them clean, dry, and unwrinkled, neckties just get folded up and stuffed in the suitcase. But there is a price to be paid for this kind of disregard — and that price is a cranky, crinkly, abused-looking necktie that makes even the most dapper man look like he has been reduced to a stowaway sleeping in his work clothes in the undercarriage of a Greyhound bus. The necktie travel case is here to rescue that man’s dignity.
Your boss always demands that you get better at your job, so why not demand the same of your boss? In a subtle, pat-on-the-back, “keep up the good work, tiger” sort of way. Bring out the best in them by showing them how the best do it.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? Give your boss this knight in shining armor and they’ll truly feel like a king, plus they’ll always have a pen ready to sign those paychecks!