Lobsters By Mail
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for your boss to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get creative. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Inside every high achiever is a bored, distracted child just waiting to pop out like a jack-in-the-box as soon as it sees an opportunity. One of the hidden benefits of the corner office is the privacy that allows the occupier of that office to play with whatever they want while the door is closed. A golden slinky carries the right amount of gravitas for a man or woman of power, and it’s far from the most embarrassing thing they could be caught playing with if someone opens the door unexpectedly.
Aggression sometimes gets a bad name, but the truth is that it’s only dangerous if misdirected. Many things in life should be aggressively pursued, such as happiness, growth, meaning, contribution — all of the warm and fuzzy stuff you see on posters. However, some people also feel the impulse to aggressively pursue verbal confrontation, or worse, opportunities to punch other people’s faces. For these folks, alternative avenues of release are really helpful. Here’s an opportunity to bring one of these alternative avenues to the most stressful environment of all: the workplace.
Being in charge can be stressful, and some bosses find themselves working 24/7 and never getting any time off. Give them a tiny little break from it all with this desktop Zen beach toy. They can run their fingers through the sand and dream of that getaway they've been missing.
Order some custom fortune cookies with little pearls of business wisdom inside. Or use the custom messages to help persuade your boss into doing something - “Don’t forget to lead by example” or maybe “Extra vacation days are proven to boost productivity”.
If your boss is a kid at heart or is the type that needs to work out some pent up emotions, and if you’re lucky enough to have this in your area, take them to Extreme Sandbox and let them play with construction equipment. Actually they’ll be doing anything but construction in this massive adult sandbox. This place lets you smash cars!
Give your boss an excuse for his all-too-noticeable whiskey breath, and you might just save both of your jobs. Then maybe next Christmas you can provide a useful excuse for his erratic behavior, and he’ll love you like his own child. Never forget, there’s a beautiful solution to every problem.
Nothing says you’ve made it like clothing that bears the logo of your corporate brand. And no, we’re not talking about those cheesy screen printed t-shirts that somebody in HR’s cousin whipped up for that convention last year. We’re talking about real, legit looking professional branded wearable merchandise (PBWM, if you require an acronym). Such accessories are no longer the exclusive domain of uber-hip brands like Supreme. Now your boss can corporatize their bling too and let the whole world know what they need to know, in case they don’t already.
Since nobody seems to be interested enough to invent an ever-lasting battery, it looks like we’re all stuck charging our phones every day for the foreseeable future. But before you throw you hands up in disgust and ask how it could possibly get worse, there is some good news. The same lazy, inconsiderate tech “geniuses” who refuse to make forever batteries have at least found the decency to create a little pad that charges smartphones without having to plug them in. And really, it’s the least they could do.