Lottery Ticket Bouquet
Everyone knows that money doesn’t grow on trees, yet no one thinks to ask why we continue giving leaf-bearing plants to each other. Just give them money and they have nothing to complain about. Or at least the false hope of money. Even if every one of the tickets is a dud, you know damn well you aren’t getting squat out of a rhododendron.
The most important innovation in motorized vehicles since the Model T, at least. This is just a car without all of the parts you don’t care about, at a tiny fraction of the cost. Live in style and let everyone know about it.
They will make lots of friends in college, and some of them will be grimy as hell. Their roommates’ friends will be even worse. And their roommates will possibly be worse still. This handheld vacuum not only leaves everything it touches spotless, it eliminates most of the things you don’t want to catch while sitting on the couch or walking across the bathroom floor.
The perfect portable self-defense device/sock-under-the-bed finder. If they had these in horror movies, everyone would still be alive. Compact and heavy-duty, this stun gun flashlight will fit right in their purse or sit comfortably on their nightstand for when their roommate sneaks in to steal their favorite shirt again.
Help reinforce good choices by giving a young person this hilarious version of the world’s most famous death game. Just load up a water balloon and pass the pistol around the table, then wait to see who gets soaked.
Time to do some studying before you arrive on campus. Get some sage advice on how to avoid the most common pitfalls of college freshmanhood, from someone who’s been there and done that. They’ll sit back and laugh at their classmates as their lives unravel.
Show your appreciation and love symbolically and financially at the same time. What lasts longer in a college student’s dorm room/apartment: a dozen roses, or a dozen wads of cash? We’re betting on the former, but now you can find out.
Evernote users take note, this bluetooth-enabled tablet gives you the pressure-sensitive feel of writing on a pad of paper…if that pad of paper could hold about 5,000 PDF files! Transfer handwritten notes seamlessly to an Evernote account, with the flexibility to work with Adobe Illustrator files as well as being OCR compatible. And while it is battery operated, a single charge lasts five days! Just try doing all that with a pad of paper!
This white noise machine makes sleeping in even the most raucous frat house a breeze. Compact and fully adjustable, it will drown out the sound of their roommates playing beer pong, dancing, yelling, or doing whatever fun activity they have decided to forego out of a sense of responsibility to their future.