Everyone likes getting money for a present, so why not give it in one of the cutest, but most inconvenient ways possible? If they’re questionable about maintaining hygiene, that’ll never be the case again. Wait until rent is due, and then enjoy how lovely they smell as they wash their hands or shower obsessively to get the cash.
We love this gift idea for the person turning 30 who has put down some roots and is planning to stay put for a while. Fill it with anything - pictures, words, a bottle of something, whatever - and bury it together in a place they’ll be in 30 more years. It will be an even better gift the year you dig it back up together.
30 is not too old to get hammered once in awhile, but it is too old to get hammered drinking inferior booze. Get their sophisticated adult drinking life started right with a bottle of top shelf liquor that has been aging for as long as they’ve been breathing. They’ll see the light.
It’s not always good news when someone says they made you a book. It can be wonderful, of course, but things can get pretty cringe-worthy pretty quickly as the recipient pages through it with growing embarrassment for the both themselves and the giver. So take your time and do a good job with this, OK? Don’t make it weird.
Here’s a birthday gift that will make them appreciate how easy it is to just go to the store and buy a bottle of wine. But before that appreciation has been fully cultivated, they’ll spend countless hours trying to perfect their own special blend with this wine making kit. It’s a pretty simple process at its core (after all, prisoners make wine in the toilet) but a tough one to master. At the very least, we’re positive that they will not make the worst wine on Earth with this thing, but we would taste with caution.
If they are not living out their childhood sandbox dreams of operating a bulldozer or a backhoe at this age, chances are it’s not going to happen. Tough luck, kid. At least you can let them live that dream for a day by buying them a trip to Extreme Sandbox.
This birthday, why not give them a bouquet of something they actually want – like the chance to win the lottery and retire early to travel the world in a super yacht! Plus, if they win, they’re sure to share their millions with you, right? Right?? Jon, can you hear me, you seem to be sailing in the other direction…?
Pack up your cares and woes, and head out into the wider world by making plans and delivering them to your favorite 30 year old as a present. Then jet, or drive, or cruise off into the sunset, leaving all your worries behind. The best part is that there’s to need to overthink the destination, just go anywhere. It’ll be great.
Some people might ask if anyone really wants to have a special piece of kitchen equipment just to make weirdly shaped pancakes. To those people we say this: How do you explain the existence of waffle irons? Aren’t waffles just pancakes with a shape, basically? Rhetorical question. No emails please.