Save your favorite college student the indignity of walking back and forth from the couch to the kitchen for a beer. We put a man on the moon for God’s sake. Hand-made by Amish craftsmen and built to last for generations, this is no flimsy Walmart furniture. Class out the wazoo.
Their toothbrush cleans their mouth, but then what cleans their toothbrush? How have you not been thinking about this? If you don’t have one of these, your mouth and your toothbrush are just playing volleyball with all that crap that comes off your teeth. College is gross enough without walking around with a bacteria factory in your face.
This white noise machine makes sleeping in even the most raucous frat house a breeze. Compact and fully adjustable, it will drown out the sound of their roommates playing beer pong, dancing, yelling, or doing whatever fun activity they have decided to forego out of a sense of responsibility to their future.
Studies show that short naps can significantly improve mental performance. Here is their very own plush, portable head enclosure, so no matter where they are, they can take a nap so peaceful they’ll be angry that they woke up. Angry and smart as hell.
Going to college means getting up and motivated for early morning classes, often after a late night of doing what college is really about - homework, right? It’s easy for students to forget to set an alarm, or to select PM instead of AM before passing out, from all that learning. A smart alarm clock can be programmed ahead of time to match their class schedule. On Monday it knows to go off at 7 in the morning, but on Tuesday it lets them sleep it off till 10.
This giant bean bag is big enough for two, but it’s so comfortable they may not want to share it. Study in luxury or take a long nap between exams. Either way, we promise they’ll find a use for this that they soon can’t live without. But beware: just like their last questionable relationship, people have been known to disappear into these for months.
The years spent in college are the ones where teenagers turn into young adults and are ready to take on the world. Even so, it’s not uncommon for them to miss their own little corner of the globe from time-to-time. Make their dorm room a home away from home with a candle that will remind them of their roots. It’s the perfect way to cure homesickness.
Don’t send your precious kin off to school without one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they’re from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they’ll know approximately where to send them.