Name A Star After Them
If you’re looking for a gift that says, ‘I think you’re out of this world’, we think we’ve found the answer. Naming a star after them is not only an everlasting token of your affection, it’ll satisfy their craving for the weird and wonderful when they start thinking about the fascinating science behind the star itself.
Yes, we are talking about actual, for real radioactive, uranium ore. It’s nothing you could make a bomb from, we’re pretty sure, but point a Geiger counter at it and your friend is sure to get that uncomfortable “is this thing going to give me cancer?” feeling we all love to hate. Probably don’t give this one to your roommate.
We all have that one friend. The one who can never seem to find that steady relationship. The one with a cat or two. And then three. And four. The one who starts to show up to parties, on the rare occasions she does show up, increasingly covered in cat hair. This book. This book is for her.
Your golfing buddy can drink beer on the course without having to hide in the rough with this novelty club. Golfers can hide their short game under a "privacy towel" while they drain their personal water hazard. Give the gift of peace of mind this season.
Perfect for those occasions when you want to give someone the moon and the stars. This set of five amazing envelopes contain accurate depictions of the sky at night. Your astronomically minded friends will be amazed at seeing the universe in a piece of folded paper. As for the moon… well, you can probably figure that one out.
This bizarre cuckoo clock features characters from every weirdo’s favorite holiday movie, “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jack Skellington, his ghost dog Zero, and friends from Halloweentown play the song “This Is Halloween” every hour.
Mberry miracle fruit tablets are seriously weird. They make food that should normally taste sour taste super sweet instead. Seriously, your friends will be guzzling vinegar like its cola. Host the world’s weirdest dinner party by altering the way your taste buds work for a while.
Your friend or loved one may have already started to suspect something about the inherent absurd futility of life. If not, then perhaps you can inform them with this gift, which is an extraordinarily apt illustration of the horrifying predicament in which we the living find ourselves. Doing exactly what it says on the package, this box has no purpose other than to instantly turn itself ‘off’ when you try to turn it ‘on’. Despite being useless, we have to admit it does have a certain charm.
Wearing this might get someone labeled a paranoid schizophrenic or mistaken for someone with an uncontrollable urge to bite others, but that’s the price you pay for protecting yourself from whoever is listening in, be it the government, aliens, or worse yet, alien government agencies. That’s the world we live in. This is the answer.