They might look like strange sea creatures or spindly metal spiders, but these spine-tingling scalp massagers will be adored by even your most arachnophobic colleague. The perfect gift to take the stress out of their day – just make it clear from the offset that you won’t be the one operating it for them!
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
Nothing is more important to company productivity than morale. And nothing raises morale better than acknowledging the real triumphs and heroics that make up the everyday life of an indentured office servant. There are no dragons to slay in the corporate world. The real battles are fought in small, desperate spaces like the sterile, suffocating environs of the meeting room. These things should not go unsaid.
Good and bad are always subjective, an eternal truth reinforced by these confusingly labeled shot glasses. They’re also primarily determined in retrospect, which means the moment of decision is not the time to worry about such trivial concepts anyway. A very philosophical gift for someone entering a philosophical phase of life.
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great gift for anyone who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
Since the dawn of time, chaos, terror, and death have periodically rained down from the sky. Only the lucky were spared. But now we have weather radios, so you can go inside instead of dying. This one also conveniently charges your phone so the next hurricane doesn’t have to interrupt your game of angry birds.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving someone this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.
Do you have a friend who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.
Kombucha is the ancient art of making tea into something half the people who try it will love and the other half will vomit back onto your carpet. The people who love it are objectively correct, because it makes you live forever (almost). Anyone who has fallen head over heels for it will do the same for you if you buy them this homebrew kit.