Sir Galahad Bartender
Can’t find good help these days? A fiercely steadfast servant can be found in this brilliant barkeep. Always on hand to provide drinks to a round, rectangular or any other shaped table, Sir Galahad is a trusty addition to any home and even comes with the guarantee of never phoning in sick.
If they’re turning 40, they’ll have spent enough time in supermarkets to last a lifetime. Buy them a Costco membership and not only will you save them money, you’ll also be saving them time so they can start doing other exciting old people things instead, like gardening and bridge club. In fact, you might get really lucky with a jumbo pack of toilet roll as a thank you.
The thought of turning 40 may leave a bad taste in their mouth so they’ll be incredibly grateful for a gift that will make them a little less bitter about getting old. These clever little tablets make even the sourest of foods taste sweeter, though we can’t make any promises over whether or not this will sweeten their mood.
Vacuuming will no longer feel like a chore with this powerful canister strapped to their back. Liberating and sporty, this dust-defeating, crumb-eating soldier of suction is strictly reserved for today’s most ambitious and orderly housekeepers. The latest in domestic fitness regimens, this lightweight apparatus will strengthen their core while reducing unsightly nicks on walls and unnecessary scratches on floors. Tidiness redefined.
Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
This ingenious shirt tricks kids into giving back massages to their parents. It has a cartoon network of roads printed on the back so kids playing with a toy car driving around the town will secretly be loosening tight muscles and soothing back pain while they play. It’s brilliant!
A normal magic wand makes things disappear. This one makes them appear on your doorstep, though it takes a couple of days. That’s how magic works in the digital age: it’s a little slower, but it gets you stuff you actually want. The old magic just got you a rabbit or something and left you confused. They’ll like this a lot more.
Polaroids may be dead, but the people who like to use them aren’t. Not all of them anyway. There’s something especially gratifying about holding a tangible photograph, especially in a world dominated by virtual commodities where everything is becoming digital. Having an instant printer on hand means they don’t have to wait for a photo printing company to print their photos from the cloud and mail them by horseback or whatever. And we all know that nobody has time to wait for a horse these days. Oh, and we should also mention: these look way better than Polaroids.
It’s a harsh reality, turning 40, so let them escape into a different world where their troubles will virtually disappear, temporarily at least. This is as much fun for the people watching the lucky recipient use it, as it is for the person themselves, so sit back, relax and enjoy the gift that’s almost better for you than it is for them.