Solar Orbit Necklace
Sandra, my working day orbits around you (because you pay my wages). You are the moon to my stars. The sun to my Earth. The black hole that devours any glimmer of light from my already empty abyss of a Universe… Whatever you want to say to your coworker, this quirky necklace sums it up perfectly.
In a world where deadlines are king, why not focus on a finish line that’s really worth celebrating? Retirement! They'll keep their eye on the prize with this optimistic ticker that will drive them to accomplish bigger and better things at work. Imagine the sweet silence of no alarm in the wee hours of the morning. Retirement will feel like it’s always right around the corner, and if that doesn’t get them through the day, I’m not sure what else would!
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
This must be a dream. Barefoot … in a hammock … at work. Does it get any cooler than this? Who says relaxation and hard work can’t go hand in hand? Digital nomads shouldn’t be the only ones having all the fun. Chances are your coworkers will get a lot more done with this handsome sling below their desk. Improve circulation from the tips of the toes to the synapses of the brain and reap the rewards of a stress-less work ethic.
Sometimes it seems there is not enough caffeine in the entire world to get through the rest of the day. Now you can let your coworker test that hypothesis with the world’s largest coffee cup. Perfect for those who have left moderation far behind. Defibrillator not included.
There isn’t an employee (or human) out there who couldn’t make use of this big red button! It’ll come in handy when the boss promises them that pay review for the hundredth time, or when Katie from finance claims her boyfriend’s band is the next Pink Floyd. Just make sure they wait until the BS-er is out of sight!
Show them who’s boss...but not too obviously, of course. Wreak passive-aggressive havoc with this walk-by game board. Settle disagreements, prove them wrong, and earn bragging rights, all without even saying a word...but no cheating!
Are you changing jobs soon and want to leave behind a legacy of disorder and cascading revenge? Give this book to the person at the office you hate least and let them unleash a reign of terror and annoyance. A perfect bridge burner.
Do you have a friend or coworker who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.