There aren’t many aspects of a public restroom that you would like to bring inside your home. In fact, this is probably the only one. The toilet is going to be the dirtiest thing in any house (we hope), so why would anyone want to be putting their hands all over it? A motion sensor activated flushing unit takes care of this problem.
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This gift will let the housewarming host blow away their guests when someone calls for shots. What better way is there to serve them than in actual shots? Choose your poison, line ‘em up, knock ‘em back and get the party started. They’re a clever piece of equipment for the bar and are sure to be a conversation starter for many gatherings to come.
Despite what you might think, not all communication in the 21st century is digital. There is a midway point between old time mouth-based talking and facebook, where people still communicate in a low tech environment. You just have to make a game out of it, or no one will bother. Let wall scrabble be the glue that holds the thin shards of someone’s family life together.
Moving into their dream house is a big occasion that deserves a big party. And what’s a big party without big cocktails? This giant shaker will keep the drinks flowing at the housewarming and will prove to be the centerpiece to a memorable night. Well, we say memorable, that all depends on how often it gets filled…and emptied…
For many people, donuts are the only reason to get up in the morning. Despite this, we’ve been told over and over how unhealthy they are, being fried balls of dough and all. Well, this donut pan will remove the final psychological barrier to full enjoyment, because it takes out the frying. Take that, food police. Oh, and it’s a lot cheaper too.
The outdoors have their own set of unique charms, but they could use some help in the tunes department. Life today is ultra-portable, and music should be too, but sometimes - like when you’re chilling with friends - headphones are just weird. Help them bring the party outside so everyone can get down.
Run, run as fast as you can, but you can’t escape from a Ninjabread Man. These stealthy holiday assassins will sneak, chop, and stab their way from oven to belly without making a sound. Turn any kitchen into a dojo with these hilarious novelty cookie cutters.
Many a voracious reader dreams of whiling away the time in a comfortable chair in some musty library. But what if the chair itself was the library? If they can survive this intense moment of revelation, they may have something akin to a braingasm. Which is a hell of a housewarming gift in itself.
Both cheaper and healthier than buying commercially-made soda, this thing is a win-win. It’s also a step up in elegance from having a pantry stuffed with cases of Mountain Dew. They can tell everyone it’s “artisan soda”, whatever that means. Their health, checking account, and reputation as connoisseurs will all thank you.
There are few things that will enrage a high-level cook more than preparing all of the ingredients for a 5-star meal, only to find that the cilantro, parsley, or basil has degraded into a brown, slimy mess. More than a few unsolved murders have likely resulted. And what’s worse, some of that rotten herbage probably gets tossed into the recipe anyway, and some of that food probably gets served to you. Are you starting to see why you should buy one of these for your friends and family?
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
One of the biggest problems with being in public is there are so many things you’re either required or tempted to touch. Door handles, ATM touchscreens, animals, garbage…the list is practically endless. And it’s all contaminated with a never-ending litany of biological hazards and impurities. Germs, chemicals, and various bodily fluids are liberally smeared upon all the surfaces of our civilization. This keychain multitool is the gift from the gods of hygiene we’ve all been waiting for.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
