Yes, we are talking about actual, for real radioactive, uranium ore. It’s nothing you could make a bomb from, we’re pretty sure, but point a Geiger counter at it and your friend is sure to get that uncomfortable “is this thing going to give me cancer?” feeling we all love to hate. Probably don’t give this one to your roommate.
For your punk-rock friend with a not-so-punk pet, spray-on PetPaint can make any fur-covered beast look like a total badass. Color the cat and dye the dog in nearly every color you can imagine. It even comes in brown for some reason!
Your friend or loved one may have already started to suspect something about the inherent absurd futility of life. If not, then perhaps you can inform them with this gift, which is an extraordinarily apt illustration of the horrifying predicament in which we the living find ourselves. Doing exactly what it says on the package, this box has no purpose other than to instantly turn itself ‘off’ when you try to turn it ‘on’. Despite being useless, we have to admit it does have a certain charm.
We all have that one friend. The one who can never seem to find that steady relationship. The one with a cat or two. And then three. And four. The one who starts to show up to parties, on the rare occasions she does show up, increasingly covered in cat hair. This book. This book is for her.
The world of social media used to be looked down upon as empty, shallow, and juvenile. Nothing a fancy frame can’t fix. Whether it’s a favorite celebrity tweet or something more personal, give it the same treatment that an official document like a college diploma or training certificate would get. Power to the people.
Weird meets cool in this unique over the shoulder bag that features a giant winking eye. This rather convincing optical illusion of a photo-realistic eye opens and closes depending on the angle of view. Scare potential thieves away with this creepy accessory.
There are a lot of weird musical instruments out there, but many of them don’t make great gifts since it takes effort to learn how to play them. Not so with the Otamatone! There’s just not that much to know. Squeeze the bottom and it makes noise. Run your fingers up and down the neck, and it makes noise. See what we mean?
Give them the gift of their own personal Finland with this hot and steamy portable sauna. There’s nothing weird about rejuvenating mind and body in the comfort of home, while head and hands are free to hold a book and read outside the heat - it just looks a little weird. Okay, maybe more than a little.
Wearing this might get someone labeled a paranoid schizophrenic or mistaken for someone with an uncontrollable urge to bite others, but that’s the price you pay for protecting yourself from whoever is listening in, be it the government, aliens, or worse yet, alien government agencies. That’s the world we live in. This is the answer.