We don’t know why anyone would need this. It’s just a box with a switch. And If you flip the switch it opens up and a little finger pokes out to flip the switch back. Because reasons. Here’s the thing though: you can do this all day, and it’s just as fun every time. Not sure that’s a good thing, but people seem like it.
Wearing this might get someone labeled a paranoid schizophrenic or mistaken for someone with an uncontrollable urge to bite others, but that’s the price you pay for protecting yourself from whoever is listening in, be it the government, aliens, or worse yet, alien government agencies. That’s the world we live in. This is the answer.
Get back to nature with some jewelry made out of dead bugs. Insects are some of the animal kingdom’s strangest creatures, and the brightest and most beautiful have been chosen for these unique pendants. It takes a special kind of weirdo to rock one of these.
Apparently this stuff really works. It’s fine to pretend it’s something else if the idea of a snail crawling across their face grosses them out. But of course gross is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe it’s not a big deal. Beauty demands sacrifices.
High tech nervous system and brainwave manipulation finally meets the world of fashion with this cutting edge hoodie that makes the wearer look like a very relaxed psychopath. Whoever wears this will have to move every once in a while to prove they’re not dead, and they should consider speaking in a personable voice so as not to scare anyone. But it does look relaxing as hell. For a crazy person.
This bizarre cuckoo clock features characters from every weirdo’s favorite holiday movie, “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jack Skellington, his ghost dog Zero, and friends from Halloweentown play the song “This Is Halloween” every hour.
Yes, we are talking about actual, for real radioactive, uranium ore. It’s nothing you could make a bomb from, we’re pretty sure, but point a Geiger counter at it and your friend is sure to get that uncomfortable “is this thing going to give me cancer?” feeling we all love to hate. Probably don’t give this one to your roommate.
The world of social media used to be looked down upon as empty, shallow, and juvenile. Nothing a fancy frame can’t fix. Whether it’s a favorite celebrity tweet or something more personal, give it the same treatment that an official document like a college diploma or training certificate would get. Power to the people.
Many, many people slaved away making these lollipops under great duress. They’re called confectioners, and they have a very stressful job. No, these aren’t really made from breast milk, so if you were excited that you found the perfect gift for that pervert you know, you might want to keep looking. Of course you don’t have to tell them they’re not real.