Breasts that shoot out wine sounds like something from the dreams of an adolescent Frenchman. And while that’s not quite what this is, it’s about as close as you’re going to get in this lifetime. This is like the upscale woman’s body flask. There’s no bottom shelf whisky in these t!*s. Nope – this is an over-the-shoulder boulder holder full of the world’s classiest fermented beverage, with fancy foreign names like Pinot Gris and Gewürztraminer. Truly functional fashion.