World’s Smallest Violin
Sorrow and disappointment often follow us through life whether we want them to or not. The same cannot be said about the music that captures these feelings. But the good news is that all you need to perform your lifelong symphony of woe is one instrument, and it fits easily into the front jeans pocket of a small child. The world’s smallest violin is the definitive instrument for that downtrodden, hard-luck victim of the cosmos in your life.
Sure, die-hard star wars fans are not always the kind of classy dressers who need a pair of cufflinks, we get it. But the ones that are dapper like that will also know that the greatest line from the greatest Star Wars movie is exactly what you’d want on your writs before being put into carbon freeze.
For those that like a challenge, this wall clock’s hands run counterclockwise, which makes telling time a real chore. We suggest secretly replacing a friend’s regular clock with the backwards version just to see how long it takes for them to notice this lovely gift. If only it could turn back time for real.
Looking for some quality literature for those extended trips to the potty? Hands (and pants) down, this go-to guide to number two etiquette in the workplace should be part of performance evaluations and new hire orientations. A whole new concept for on-the-job training, this handy briefcase buddy is the perfect gag gift that’s guaranteed to relieve some of the pressure we all feel at work. When duty calls … will you be prepared?
We don’t know if it is a great idea to feed squirrels in your yard, to be perfectly honest, but we know for sure that it is a great idea to laugh at them. And that’s what you’ll do every single time one of our little gray buddies slips its little head into this oversized horse mask to have a snack.
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
Give these fortune cookies to a friend and tell them you had extra from last night's dinner. Be sure to have the camera rolling when they crack one open and see your bizarre custom message inside. Pick something that no cookie should know about them. Imagine their confusion when they read "You should break up with Mary. She should have been more careful with your Ramones t-shirt" or "Don't forget to get your car inspected. It's been overdue since July."
Who needs mink coats when they can have the whole kit and caboodle made from plush fur balls? Put that puss to work and crank out some nifty doodads that will have everyone and their tabby ooh-ing, aah-ing and purring from sun up to sun down. A gift anyone can really wrap their paws around, this handy guide is a humane, albeit quirky, collection of charming ideas for the feline lover on your list. Simply meow-velous!
Tough love is so underrated! School a clueless loved one in your life with this lifesaving gift and help reduce the number of whiny adults wandering aimlessly around the planet. There’s nothing wrong with helpful handouts (especially when it comes to gift giving!), but sometimes an in-your-face “hand-up” is the most effective approach if you’re pissing off family and friends left and right. Get over it and just get it done!