World’s Smallest Violin
Sorrow and disappointment often follow us through life whether we want them to or not. The same cannot be said about the music that captures these feelings. But the good news is that all you need to perform your lifelong symphony of woe is one instrument, and it fits easily into the front jeans pocket of a small child. The world’s smallest violin is the definitive instrument for that downtrodden, hard-luck victim of the cosmos in your life.
Giant fish that swim in the air? Isn’t that against the very laws of nature? Yeah, kind of, we guess, but these are filled with helium and are controlled with a remote, so it’s really not as dramatic as all that. Stays inflated for up to two weeks, and can be refilled over and over again.
Chances are you know someone that can really light up a room … and we’re not talking about their charismatic smile or doll-faced eyes! Keep those sulfur bombs in check with some iron-clad undies. These fashion-forward undergarments keep the toxic gases under wraps so that friends, family members and innocent strangers with a razor-sharp sense of smell won’t be subjected to senseless, noxious pollution of the lower region. Strap these babies on and let ’er rip!
This made-to-order voodoo doll is the perfect gift for your most vengeful friend. Just send in an image of who you want the doll to resemble, and the magic happens as your friend pushes pins into the doll’s most sensitive areas. Just be sure it doesn't look anything like you.
This is not your grandfather’s Kit Cat Clock, but it is, ironically the size of a grandfather clock. The modern classic gets a big size upgrade, but the iconic smile, rolling eyes, and swinging tail are all still here. You’re going to love this giant kitty.
For the nuke-obsessed friend who’s searching for a tad more naturally occurring radiation in their life, this handy rock will make them feel like they’ve got some atomic ammo in their pocket. This harmless dose of unenriched uranium may not impress Kim Jong-un, but it’s sure to fire up some good old fashioned chit chat about the periodic table and perhaps even educate a few clueless heads about Earth’s metals. A great gag gift for the Cold War fanatic in your life, this powerful element packs a punch!
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
This is the old people version of buying them their own pool cue. Like every game of chance, bingo is ruled by the secret and unfathomable rubric of superstition. Using a borrowed dauber is like spitting in the face of the lottery gods. Not a good idea.
The lucky recipient of these handy hi-tech gloves will be dressed to impress at any outdoor excursion or special ops affair. The ultimate in wireless fashion accessories, these snug-fitting paw protectors will keep your pal connected at all times and make them the envy of every screen-hungry mobile phone junkie from San Francisco to Dubai. Even 007 will be begging to get his hands on these ultra cool mobility mitts. Those hands were made for talking!