World’s Softest Blanket
This may sound like a recklessly bold claim, but we have the studies to prove it. We took all the blankets in the world and rubbed them up against a very soft person, then listened to how much they cried. This one elicited a mere whisper.
There are a small but important set of emergencies that can only be rectified with a clown nose. This has been demonstrated time and time again in hospitals rooms across the world. Sadly, there’s no money in clown noses, so big pharma keeps us in the dark.
Nobody wants to touch your feet, so stop asking. And we know you don’t want to touch anybody else’s either, so if you want someone’s feet to feel better this is the only ethical choice. And with switchable heat and nonstop movement, this is way better than any human could do anyway. All without the complaining or the feeling of obligation to reciprocate in some way.
You could just get them a gift card to a spa or for a massage, but why not go for a more interesting experience like cryotherapy? It’s basically a box you get into to get blasted by ridiculously cold air for a short period of time. Advocates say that the treatment rejuvenates the body and helps repair tissue damage. If your town doesn't have a cryotherapy place yet you could try a bathtub full of ice and a big fan.
If they’ve been laid up recovering for awhile, the best thing to lift their spirits would be to get out and enjoy a little self-indulgence. With a SpaFinder gift card they can pamper themselves with a variety of healing treatments from yoga to massage. It may be just the thing to help them feel like themselves again.
Be careful sending these jars, which are hand-packed with a pair of cupcakes, as a get well soon gift, because it could be counterproductive. We’re not saying they are unhealthy, just that getting these won’t make a sick person want to heal quickly if they think there might be more cupcakes on the way.
Remember when you were a kid and the greatest thing you could think of was finding a cheese ball the size of the moon? Somewhere along the line, someone told you that you had to grow out of this phase. It wasn’t a phase dammit. Everyone wants bigger junk food and getting well is the perfect excuse to have some.
Our bodies rely on light from the sun to calibrate our internal clock, provide us with energy, and support and regulate our moods. Unfortunately, if you’re stuck inside, you can’t bring the sun inside with you. And if you live in a high-latitude or cloudy area, you’re also screwed. But lucky for all of us, science has made the sun obsolete (almost). A light therapy lamp is a perfect get well gift for someone who needs a convenient emotional or physiological boost while they’re ailing.
Everyone’s heard the phrase, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Typically, this is nothing but a trick used to make the act of backstabbing easier. Luckily, technology being what it is, you almost never have to rely on anybody else anymore. This telescoping back scratcher lets even the most immobile sufferer get to that nasty itch. It’s a get well gift that helps them look out for #1.