Every once in a while you need to buy a gift for someone you know to welcome them into, well, their own home. Yeah, it’s a weird custom, but if you don’t do it everyone will think you’re a jag. To make things easier, we’ve scoured the internet for the best housewarming gifts in the whole world. In the unlikely event they don’t like what you give them, feel free to blame it on us. But we’re pretty sure they will.

Hidden Floating Bookshelf gift
Hidden Floating Bookshelf

This isn’t what the author meant when he said, “These words stand on their own,” but it sure does create a unique effect. And it’s sure to confuse small children and old people. Minimalism is old hat. Say hello to invisiblism with this creative housewarming gift.

Amazon.com
Walabot Sees Through Walls
Walabot Sees Through Walls

When he needed to find out where a pipe was, your uncle Len used to punch through the wall and feel around with his hand. No, that wasn’t a dream, he really did that. The man was a neanderthal. These days even neanderthals have smart phones, and this android app lets them find out where pipes, studs, and wires are with no brute force at all. Huzzah.

Amazon.com
Cloud Lamp gift
Cloud Lamp

Clouds have always been associated with mystery, beauty, and spirituality. Now they can also be associated with awesome lighting for someone’s bedroom or living room. Soft light filters into the room to create a warm, inviting ambience. Take their home decor into the stratosphere with this unique housewarming gift.

Etsy.com
Built-in Kitchen Vacuum gift for house
Built-in Kitchen Vacuum

We really like to pretend that all the things we don’t like or need can just go away. You might even say our whole society is built on this illusion. But I’m not about to go all Dick Gregory on you. Just pointing out that a built-in vacuum that eliminates debris with minimal effort will probably make someone you know feel a lot better about everything.

Amazon.com
Funny Doormat
Funny Doormat

A first impression is a dominant factor in shaping perception. A hilarious doormat begins that process even before eye contact is made. Help them ingratiate themselves with party guests, traveling salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and whoever else happens to stumble upon their threshold. A little personality never hurt anyone.

Amazon.com
Light Bulbs That Last 20 Years
Light Bulbs That Last 20 Years

The government has been working for years to create light bulbs that will burn eternally, by entrapping the souls of orphans in small glass domes. Until they have the glitches ironed out, a set of 20-year light bulbs should bridge the gap just fine. Don’t worry, they’re still working on it.

Amazon.com
Fire Extinguisher
Fire Extinguisher

Covering your losses is a forgotten skill in today’s world. You can buy them all kinds of fancy stuff, but without one of these there’s a small but non-negligible chance you’re just providing kindling. Here’s the antidote.

Amazon.com
new home journal gift
Home Maintenance Journal

Moving into a new home means jumping into an endless sea of home repairs, contractors and service providers. This is a practical housewarming gift that will help them keep it all recorded and organized. Are we do for a water test? Did the leak start before or after that plumber was here? Who was that guy we used to trim the trees? All the answers and more can be found in their new home journal.

Amazon.com
PancakeBot
PancakeBot

3D printing technology is all the rage these days, but has anyone been able to explain to you what the point of it all really is? Well wonder no more! The point, as is so often the case with hi-tech gadgets, is pancakes. Design and print pancakes in shapes never thought possible before. What a time to be alive and hungry for breakfast.

Amazon.com
Fire Avert
Fire Avert

Everyone likes a housewarming gift, but there is a limit to how hot a new homeowner wants their house to get. Enter Fire Avert. When the smoke alarm comes on, Fire Avert turns the stove and oven off. This simple kitchen gadget should be standard safety equipment in every home.

fireavert.com
Color Sensor Gives Digital Color Info
Digital Color Sensor

The first thing every self-respecting new homeowner does after moving in is start painting those walls. But what colors??? This handy little gadget allows you to scan a surface to get the exact color and match it to any of more than 10,000 colors from leading paint brands. You can even share color palettes over email and social media!

Amazon.com
Amazon Echo
Amazon Echo

This is meant to be a one-stop home control unit for pretty much your whole life, and comes startlingly close. Messaging, news, weather, music, light switch operation, and more. A lot more. And no, you don’t need to own a motorcycle and sidecar or play ping-pong with Alec Baldwin to use it.

Amazon.com
Hang-O-Matic All-In-One Picture Hanging Tool
Hang-O-Matic Picture Hanging Tool

Hanging a row of pictures straight seems like an easy enough thing to do, but if you’ve ever tried you know it’s easier said than done. New homeowners will have lots of opportunities to use this handy tool that really puts things in their place. The Hang-o-matic marks the exact spot on the wall that the nail needs to go and includes a tape measure and built-in level.

Amazon.com
portable generator
Portable Generator

Sure, we lived for hundreds of thousands of years without electricity, but that’s not the point. The next time they’re in the middle of baking a casserole and a squirrel falls in the wires at the power plant, don’t make them resort to eating lettuce and raw cookie dough for dinner. Every house needs one of these.

Amazon.com
The Digital Art Museum
Digital Art Museum

Any new homeowner will have a lot of empty walls to fill. You could buy them a print, if you’re sure about their tastes, but why not buy them 20,000 works of art instead? This digital art museum can match any decor and can even display uploaded original art or photos.

Hammacher.com
Home Safe
Home Safe

A home safe is often one of those after-the-fact purchases. That is, people wait until after their first burglary to buy one, when they don’t have anything to put in it anymore. Save them from their own silliness and make the smart investment for them.

Amazon.com
Roomba Vacuum Robot
Robot Vacuum

Offering to vacuum your friend’s house every day would be an insane (and insanely good) housewarming present that nobody would ever give. And yet, if you think about it, that’s exactly what giving them a robot vacuum amounts to. Give the gift of clean floors every day with this amazing invention.

Amazon.com
Watermelon Keg Kit
Watermelon Keg Kit

You tap a watermelon to tell if it is ripe, right? Now tap it another way! For the person whose new house has that killer patio, the Watermelon Keg Kit makes every cookout an instant party. Not only do you get a super cool drink dispenser, but you get to eat the watermelon, too! WIN WIN!

Amazon.com
shitload of batteries
Sh*load of Batteries

The first time they filled the basement with batteries was just before the Y2k crisis. Or if they’re old enough, perhaps during the cold war. In both cases, nothing really happened. But maybe three times is a charm. Even if the modern world doesn’t collapse on itself, you’ll be giving them peace of mind knowing that their 84 remote controls will always be well fed.

Amazon.com
Solar Cooker
Solar Cooker

They may have bought a great big house with all kinds of modern gadgets, but don’t let them forget that Mother Nature still knows how to provide for her children. Well, in this case she needs just a little bit of help, in the form of a big reflective parabola that makes food delicious. Stylistically it’s not exactly retro, not exactly post-modern; more like caveman-futurist.

Amazon.com
Vertical Chess Set

Watch opposing armies fight for supremacy on the living room wall with this piece of functional art. Grandmasters and novice players alike will appreciate checking their opponents on the most unique game board in their home. Framed like a picture, this chessboard makes a lovely housewarming present for anyone who loves to play games.

Hammacher.com
Sous Vide Cooker
Sous Vide Cooker

No longer just the province of fancy schmancy chefs in the big city, sous vide cooking is now available for the home cook as well. Give your friends the gift of perfectly cooked, melt-in-the-mouth meats at a fraction of the cost of dining out. Just make sure they invite you over!

Amazon.com
Door Harp
Door Harp

Front doors on new homes are so well-oiled that they don’t usually squeak at all when opening, so your dog-owning friend will love you for giving this lovely little music maker as a housewarming gift. It’s the perfect way to make sure the dog clearly hears it every time the door is opened.

Etsy.com
Tealight Holders
Tealight Holders

Candle light has a soft, natural beauty that helps it remain popular even today, no matter how many people have burned their houses down. With the right decorative holders, not only can you eliminate the chance of catastrophic fire, you can even transform the candle’s light into a projector of unique artistic images. These glass tealight holders feature nature scenes and uplifting messages to promote the calming atmosphere every new home needs.

Uncommongoods.com
Gardener's Tool Seat gift
Gardener’s Stool And Tool Bag

Few household hobbies have the potential to be as hard on the joints as gardening, unless you like playing “Army Men” and parachuting off the roof with umbrellas, like some of us did as kids. This waterproof nylon stool does double duty as a knee/ankle saver and a tool bag, so the right implement is always within reach.

Uncommongoods.com
robot lawn mower gift
Robot Lawn Mower

Remember when the rich family on the block had a riding lawnmower? This thing makes them look like the Flintstones. A robot lawnmower is the ultimate set-it-and-forget-it landscaping device. Way smarter than any lawnmower you ever expected to see. Thankfully, they had the foresight not to give these things arms, in order to avoid a Terminator situation.

Amazon.com
touchless toilet flush kit as gift
Touchless Toilet Flush Kit

There aren’t many aspects of a public restroom that you would like to bring inside your home. In fact, this is probably the only one. The toilet is going to be the dirtiest thing in any house (we hope), so why would anyone want to be putting their hands all over it? A motion sensor activated flushing unit takes care of this problem.

Amazon.com
Fire Escape Shelf
Fire Escape Bookshelf

The fire escape is a staple of the urban landscape. Most people are too scared to use them in an emergency anyway, so they’re really just a decorative addition. At least this one holds your pictures and flower pots. Help someone give their new loft, studio, or suburban mcmansion a gritty, fashion-forward vibe with this unique housewarming gift.

Uncommongoods.com
Coffee Grinder gift
Coffee Grinder

Coffee beans, roasted or unroasted, confer a distinctive buzz when consumed that’s characterized by heightened mental function and increased energy. Studies show, however, that many people prefer to brew them in hot water instead of eating them. To do this, they must be ground first. We think this fancy, compact, and handsome grinder is a great way to do that.

Uncommongoods.com
clock wall safe
Clock Safe

Thieves these days can break into any safe, as the movies attest to. The key is in fooling them. Storing valuables inside an innocuous-looking clock is the perfect way to foil any evil plan. When you’re this clever, you don’t even need to lock things up.

Amazon.com
felt pebbles rug gift
Felt Rocks Rug

Bring the charm of the outdoors inside without having to deal with all the wildlife and their bizarre eating habits and communicable diseases. This felt rug looks just like a rock footpath but feels wonderfully comfortable underneath your feet. Complements the other natural materials in any interior space.

Etsy.com
house plant as gift
Houseplants

Here’s a gift you can give without having to worry about redundancy. No matter how many houseplants they have, there is always room for more. They’re inexpensive, they naturally clean the air, and with a little bit of care they last for a long time. A classic housewarming gift for good reason.

composter as gift for house
Compost Bin

The natural cycle of life involves death, decay, and rebirth. A really good compost bin allows you to speed this process up, almost like you had the hands of God. Actually, don’t tell them that. They’ve got a big enough ego already. Just tell them it “makes stuff grow faster”.

Amazon.com
composting planter as gift
Composting Planter Tower

This thing is like the skyscraper of compost gardening, saving valuable space with its vertical build, turning decomposing scraps into fertilizer as it goes. A veritable tower of growing power. The pillar that needs no tiller. The grower that doesn’t…well, you get the idea.

Amazon.com
lamp plants gift
Plant Lamps

These lamps put a unique spin on the idea of “natural light”. An led lights up the veins of the acrylic plant leaves, creating a diffuse, colored light effect. A beautiful cross between nature and invention, and a creative housewarming gift for the art lover who thinks living things are pretty but kind of a pain in the ass.

Etsy.com
emergency water storage as gift
Emergency Water Storage

You take drinking water for granted because it’s always been there. But no amount of planning can stave off certain emergencies, like natural disasters, zombie infestations, and other end-of-the-world scenarios. This giant water bladder will get them through the first several weeks.

Amazon.com
baseball wine holder gift
Baseball Wine Holder

If you think that intoxicating substances and baseball don’t mix, consider that Doc Ellis once pitched a no-hitter while tripping on acid, and old time icons like Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, and Harry Caray were pretty much drunk all the time. This unique and meticulously crafted centerpiece is more proof of the divine intersection between the national pastime and…the other national pastime.

Amazon.com
Wiener Dog Oil and Vinegar Set gift
Wiener Dog Oil and Vinegar

Old fashioned oil and vinegar cruets are elegant and time tested, but we think they’ve had their day. This set of dachshund-inspired glass table pieces do the job just as well, but with more personality. The perfect housewarming gift for an animal lover with a quirky sense of humor.

Uncommongoods.com
dog lamp gift
Elizabethan Collar Lamp

No matter how much you may not want to, you can’t help finding this lamp funny. Go ahead, laugh at the plight of wounded animals everywhere. We promise you won’t accrue any bad karma. Need we say that the dog lover you know needs this housewarming gift?

Uncommongoods.com
chemists_spice_rack
Chemist’s Spice Rack

Kitchen mastery is just as much a science as it is an art. Most people’s understanding of cooking remains superficial, but the culinary scientist sees what everyone else is missing. This laboratory-inspired spice rack proves that even when it comes to food, nerds do it better.

ThinkGeek.com
UV sanitizing wand gift
UV Sanitizing Wand

This sanitizing wand destroys bacteria and germs without the use of chemicals. A necessary addition for any new home, giving them the peace of mind of knowing they’re safe from things like food-borne pathogens and infectious disease. Because those little bastards can contaminate anything.

Amazon.com
SkeweRack Flips Swekers
SkeweRack Sweker Flipper

Shish kabob grilling is great, in theory. But the meat always spins when you try to flip it, the veggies fall off, and your hands get burned. That ends today. Flat skewers prevent spinning, the rack gets the food off the grill to prevent sticking, and proper handles protect your skin.

Amazon.com
Drywall Repair Kit
Drywall Repair Kit

If you’re looking for a practical gift you might consider a drywall repair kit. Drywall takes a lot of abuse from daily life, especially if they have kids. With this kit they can repair small holes without any special skills or tools.

Amazon.com
candle shadows gift
Candle Shadow Projector

Back when old people were kids, shadow puppeteering was accepted as a legitimate skill. That meant holding your hands in front of a light to create rudimentary animal shapes on the wall, because there was no internet. These candleholders are a serious step up. Just try making a mature cedar with your hands. Ok, stop. It’s not going to happen.

Uncommongoods.com
The Self-Contained Hootenanny
The Self-Contained Hootenanny

You could buy them a 17 man band that could live in the corner of their den and serenade them every day, or you could just go with this unique piece of furniture that can play 17 instruments at once. Plus this pneumatically controlled Hootenanny can remember how to play 13,000 songs.

Hammacher.com
Bug Vacuum
Bug Vacuum

Nobody wants bugs in the house, but some people feel bad about killing them, too. It’s not their fault they need a home, after all. The Bug Vacuum solves this moral conundrum by giving us a way to safely catch and release household spiders and insects without having to touch an icky, itsy-bitsy, creepy crawler.

Amazon.com
World's Largest Scrabble Game
World’s Largest Scrabble Game

Quadruple size your triple word score with this enormous Scrabble board. Your wordiest, nerdiest friend will love letting passing strangers see them crush all opposition through their front windows as they walk by on the sidewalk in front of their new home.

Hammacher.com
living wall art gift
Living Wall Art

Here’s some art that really grows on you. A hanging garden that can be placed on any wall in the house, it can add a bit of unexpected life to an interior space. The frame comes decked out with easy-to-care-for succulents, so you don’t have to worry about giving this to someone with a brown thumb.

Uncommongoods.com
Indoor Smart Herb Garden
Indoor Smart Herb Garden

No, not THAT kind of herb! Get the kitchen started right by giving the ability to grow fresh herbs right in the home all year long. Spice up the new house with parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, dill, mint basil, oregano, and more. And maybe that other herb, too. We won’t tell.

Amazon.com
Video Doorbell
Video Doorbell

A video doorbell should come standard in every home, but since it doesn’t, you’ve found a great gift idea. They’ll be able to see who is at the door, and make that critical judgement about whether or not to get up and open it, by simply checking their smart phone. Ignoring unwanted guests has never been easier. Just hope they come to the door next time you ring.

Amazon.com
Bluetooth Food Freshness and Safety Detector
Food Freshness Detector

Why have someone else “smell this and tell me if it’s OK” when you can have science do it instead? The Food Freshness Detector can sniff meat, fish, and poultry to tell you when you need to cook it a little more thoroughly or throw it right out. Give it to that friend who loves to throw dinner parties and eat the food without worry.

SharperImage.com
Stovetop Artisanal Pizzeria
Stovetop Artisanal Pizzeria

Nothing beats a pizza cooked in a wood-fired stone oven, but a giant pizza oven is a little difficult to give as gift, though it could certainly warm a house. This stovetop version is a lot easier to wrap and delivers the same great flavor as its big brother.

Hammacher.com
Tetris Stackable LED Desk Lamp
Tetris Stackable Desk Lamp

You know how when you play too much Tetris you start seeing the shapes everywhere? Make that nightmare a reality with this cool desk lamp. Stack the pieces in any order you like and watch them light up. It’s a perfect gift for all the casual gamers in your life.

ThinkGeek.com
electric smores maker
S’mores Machine

People say they love camping, but are we 100% sure they don’t just love to eat s’mores? Why not buy your new homeowner friend this S’mores Machine as a housewarming gift so they’re not tempted to start a campfire in the middle of their living room. Let them enjoy the new house instead of sleeping in a leaky tent.

Amazon.com
UV Sanitizing Portable Vacuum
UV Sanitizing Vacuum

Moving into a new home is great, everything is clean from top to bottom. If only it could stay that way. Help the new homeowner keep the castle tidy and germ-free with this hand held vacuum that kills germs, viruses, and bacteria.

SharperImage.com
NASA Sleep Promoting Light Bulb
NASA Sleep Promoting Light Bulb

This is the perfect choice for their bedside reading lamp – a light bulb that actually promotes sleep. Typical bulbs emit a specific type of blue light that suppresses melatonin, but that wavelength of color is filtered out of this bulb that is used by NASA to help astronauts sleep in space.

Hammacher.com
Urbio Planters
Urbio Planters

New homeowners usually have a long list of projects they want to do around the house, and a garden is often one of them. Help them get started with some sleek indoor planters that are perfect for growing herbs and small flowering plants. If they don’t have a green thumb they can always use them to store other things.

Amazon.com
Personalized Travel Map
Personalized Travel Map

Give frequent travelers the opportunity to regale their house guests with stories of the time they were in wherever. This foam-backed map lets travelers chart their journeys with tiny flags and other markers and can be printed with any message the recipient chooses. A classy gift that looks great in any room.

Hammacher.com
Screenmend
Screenmend

If they have screens in their windows or a screened in porch, those screens are going to get torn. They can be a hassle to replace and, for most people, it’s the kind of thing that sits on a to-do list for 3 years.But that’s only because they don’t have this handy patch kit that can repair the damage in minutes.

Amazon.com
Year-Round Rain Barrel
Year-Round Rain Barrel

Having a rain barrel to collect water for the garden is a great idea, and really should be mandatory in places where water is in high demand from drought. The problem is most rain barrels are pretty ugly, designed to be utilitarian but not beautiful. Here’s one they won’t want to hide!

Hammacher.com
Sir Galahad Bartender
Sir Galahad Bartender

What could be better for serving drinks at the round table than a knight in shining armor packed full of liquor? This full suit of Gothic plate armor makes your home a castle while also defending guests and homeowners alike from the ravages of thirst. Sword not included.

Hammacher.com
Wine Making Kit
Wine Making Kit

Here’s a gift that will make them appreciate how easy it is to just go to the store and buy a bottle of wine. But before that appreciation has fully cultivated, they’ll spend countless hours trying to perfect their own special blend with this wine making kit. It’s a pretty simple process at its core, after all, prisoners make wine in the toilets, but a tough one to master. At the very least, we’re positive that they will not make the worst wine on Earth with this thing, but we would taste with caution.

Amazon.com
yardwork as gift
1 Day of Yard Work

One of the hidden costs of home ownership is that you have to do everything yourself. They’ll really enjoy a one day reprieve in the form of free yard work. If you want to make your money back on this, offer to let them kick back, get drunk, and hurl insults at you while you manicure their lawn – for a small fee, of course.

complicated light switch gift
Complicated Light Switches

Nothing makes a home feel unique like incorporating art into its basic function. Modernism is all about austerity and total lack of decoration, and these light switch covers are like a stick in the eye of that architectural philosophy. If you know a steampunk fan who’s moving into a new house, they’ll go ape over these. You don’t have to understand. Just trust us.

Etsy.com
brain bookends gift
Right and Left Brain Bookends

Some people need visual feedback in order to understand their progress. With these right and left brain bookends, they can literally watch as their mind expands with each book added to the shelf. Of course, they still have to read them to absorb the knowledge. Let’s hope you don’t have to explain that.

Uncommongoods.com
12 pint door mat
Doormat That Absorbs 12 Pints

Every new home should be protected from the elements, including those some careless soul drags in with their boots. Unlike you, this doormat can absorb 12 pints without making strange accusations or bringing up the past. One of the few home additions that makes a better houseguest out of everyone.

Hammacher.com
sunflower grow kit gift
Sunflower Starter Kit

Sunflowers are some of nature’s most obnoxiously beautiful creations, and they make a real statement when planted in your yard. Bright yellow and absurdly tall, they grab the attention of every passerby. Almost like standing on the porch and yelling at people, but in a really endearing and pleasant way.

Uncommongoods.com
Suspension Bridge Shelf gift
Suspension Bridge Bookshelf

Whoever said a “bridge to nowhere” was useless? This one serves beautifully as a shelf to display photos, small potted plants, and other decorations, and livens up a room with its elegant yet simple design. Adds a unique, sophisticated touch to any room.

Uncommongoods.com
Electric Fondue Maker
Electric Fondue Maker

Looking for a really forking good gift? Okay, so fried foods may not be the healthiest choice out there, but there are times when you just can’t help but make an exception. This electric fondue maker is the perfect thing for dinner parties and puts a fun twist on appetizers and desserts. The oil, cheese, or chocolate will stay at the perfect temperature and it never runs out of fuel.

Amazon.com
Loliware Edible Cups
Loliware Edible Cups

Everyone hates doing the dishes. Anything you can do to ease that burden will be appreciated. Take glassware for example. With Loliware when you finish your drink there’s no need to take it to the dishwasher. You just eat it, or save it for a midnight snack.

loliware.com
Spaghetti Noodle Pasta Measuring Tool
Spaghetti Noodle Pasta Measuring Tool

Why is it so hard to judge the correct amount of spagetti noodles to cook? It’s not like we haven’t done this a million times. For whatever reason, the human mind cannot solve this equation. Luckily there’s no need with this handy tool that can measure standard portions for people and even those who are so hungry they could eat a horse.

Amazon.com
Weekly Produce Delivery Service

You probably know someone who would like their own personal supply of organic produce but doesn’t have the time to manage a multi-acre farm. Or go to the grocery store for that matter. This is also a great gift for the healthy eater who’s too busy to garden or who tends to kill everything they lay their hands on.

FarmBoxDirect.com
Squatty Potty
Squatty Potty

Most people poop incorrectly. With all that practice you’d think we’d all be good at it. The Squatty Potty gets the body in the correct posture and claims to help with all sorts of health issues. It’s a great housewarming gift since all things toilet related are inherently funny.

Amazon.com
Fizzics Makes Bottled Beer Taste Like Draft
Make Bottled Beer Taste Like Draft

In an ideal world, the new homeowner would have their own draft beer on tap. If that’s a housewarming gift you can afford, then by all means, please get them a draft beer tap. For the rest of us, there is the next best thing. This beer dispenser uses sound waves and pressure to transform any canned or bottled beer into beer you would swear came fresh from the tap.

Amazon.com
The Robotic Bartender
The Robotic Bartender

One day soon, artificial intelligence is going to be a reality, and the machines are going to take everything. Until then, you might as well get as much out of these bastards as you can. Here’s a robot who will make fully-customizable drinks until he knows better.

Hammacher.com
Giant Beanbag
Giant Beanbag

When someone moves into a new house, their old furniture doesn’t always fit in all the new spaces. A beanbag can fill up any shaped space and is an awesome way to kick back and watch a movie or read a book.

Amazon.com
Toilet Night Light
Toilet Night Light

Night-blindness is that thing that happens when you turn on the bathroom light in the middle of the night. The shock of going from darkness to light is abruptly harsh, and after the light goes off you’re blind for several minutes until your eyes readjust to the darkness. The combination of night blindness and urgent midnight runs to the bathroom can result in any number of minor disasters like stubbed toes and stray streams of… you get the idea. With the subtle glow of a toilet night light all these problems are a thing of the past. Also creates a nice atmosphere for impromptu bathroom disco parties.

Amazon.com
Giant Yard Games
Giant Yard Games

Go big or go home, wait, they can do both with these giant yard games! They’ll supersize the fun at backyard parties with these larger than life versions of the games we all played growing up. All sorts of giant games are available including checkers, chess, Connect Four, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Jenga and more.

Amazon.com
Backpack Vacuum
Backpack Vacuum

Vacuuming will no longer feel like a chore with this powerful canister strapped to their back. Liberating and sporty, this dust-defeating, crumb-eating soldier of suction is strictly reserved for today’s most ambitious and orderly housekeepers. The latest in domestic fitness regimens, this lightweight apparatus will strengthen their core while reducing unsightly nicks on walls and unnecessary scratches on floors. Tidiness redefined.

Hammacher.com
Loaded Toolbox
Loaded Toolbox

They not only own that newly-bought house, they also own every disaster that occurs within. Give them the means to go to war with broken door hinges, leaking pipes, faulty appliances, and whatever else Murphy’s Law drops in their lap.

Amazon.com
Make Your Own Bacon Kit
Make Your Own Bacon Kit

If you’re anything like us, you’re not wild about some anonymous person manhandling your pork. The problem is, of course, that someone has to turn it into bacon. A make your own bacon kit is the perfect gift for someone who really wants to take control of their lives, starting with the most important parts.

Amazon.com
The Muppet Show Cuckoo Clock
The Muppet Show Cuckoo Clock

Help the new homeowner reminisce about a time when TV shows were a true escape from the harsh realities of the world and puppetry was a respected art form — when beautifully composed songs about the simple joys of life occupied the limelight and imaginative play was sweet and original. This heartwarming timepiece will bring comfort throughout the day and return silliness to an all-too-serious era. Lighten up and smile, the Muppets are alive and well and life isn’t so bad after all!

Hammacher.com
Beer Soap
Beer Soap

It used to be the only way to smell like your favorite alcohol was to get so drunk it came out of your pores. Although a few people have probably tried using whiskey as cologne, too. Thank god someone finally came up with a better solution. Beer soap uses real craft beer ingredients to make rich, fragrant soap that not only smells great but nourishes your skin with natural vitamins and nutrients.

Amazon.com
Hanging Air Plant Terrarium
Hanging Air Plant Terrarium

Air plants are famous in the West Indies for bringing their owners great wealth, immense fame, impossible luck, and endless, mind-blowing sex. But some people buy them just because they look really cool. We’ll let you decide on your own reasons.

Amazon.com
3D Printer
3D Printer

There’s a great future in plastics. And now, anyone with a 3D printer can have a hand in shaping that future. They can program anything they’d like, start up the printer, and watch it come to life right in front of their eyes. Creation on a level to anger the gods.

Amazon.com
Bathtub Wine Glass Holder
Bathtub Wine Glass Holder

Spilled alcohol and broken glass simply don’t fit with the luxury life. Let the lowbrows balance their stemware on the wet, glossy surface of the tub like the hapless fools they are. Your friends deserve better. Bring some peace of mind to their relaxation hour.

Amazon.com
Bottle Breacher
50 Caliber Bottle Opener

Alright, enough pussyfooting around. Are you gonna open that damn bottle or not? If not, hand it over to someone who will, and give them the tools to do it right. This authentic 50 caliber shell will definitively end the standoff with any stubborn bottle cap, no matter how strong a fight it’s willing to put up. Mission accomplished, major.

Amazon.com
Fiberfix
Fiberfix

Chances are you know someone who still patches up their household items using duct tape. Probably while listening to their favorite Bee Gees 8-track. If that person is a new homeowner, bring them out of the DIY dark ages with a roll of Fiberfix. Then maybe go to work on their music collection.

Amazon.com
Make Your Hot Sauce Kit

Do you know someone who’s always in search of the perfect hot sauce? Well, maybe the answer is to let them make their own. This kit allows you to experiment with different pepper, spice, and vinegar combinations until you find the holy grail of hotness. No more excuses, just hot pepper perfection.

Amazon.com
electric air-fryer
Electric Air Fryer

Technology may sometimes seem to complicate things, but here it removes one of life’s worst conundrums. Those french fries may taste great, but they’re quickly dragging you toward a big, fat grave. Remove the oil by using this electric air fryer, and they’re just damn good potatoes. Feast away with a happy heart.

Amazon.com
mixology dice
Mixology Dice

The last thing anyone wants to do after a long day is wrack their brains trying to figure out what to drown their sorrows with. That’s really the last straw. With this beautiful, handcrafted set of drunk dice, the decisions are over. One more obstacle obliterated.

Amazon.com
old world globe bar
Old World Globe Bar

In the land of the drunk, there are two categories: the worldly and the degenerate. Everyone else is sober. This old world globe bar sends a not-so-subtle signal which one they belong to. Help them appear wise and fascinating by appropriating the air of an intrepid explorer, even if they’ve never left the state.

Amazon.com
Molecular Gastronomy kit
Molecular Gastronomy Kit

Years ago, we were all told not to play with our food. Now the highest paid, most famous chefs in the world are doing just that, and nobody thinks to slap the gelified calcium chloride out of their hands. This is the food the Jetsons would have been eating if they were more sophisticated.

Amazon.com
money-bouquet
Money Bouquet

Everyone likes receiving money, and it’s the easiest gift to give. Unfortunately, a pile of bills is often considered tacky. On the other hand, roll them up into flower shapes and it’s considered art. A brilliant ruse to make the simplest of transactions socially acceptable.

Instructables.com
1 year amazon prime membership
1 Year Of Amazon Prime

It’s a fact: the world is full of stuff, and most of it isn’t ours yet. Amazon Prime helps us to fix that problem a little faster, with free two day shipping, among many other benefits. Whatever their addiction, they can feed it on Amazon. Help them feed it faster and better.

Amazon.com
Banksy Wall Art Decal

Even if you can afford a real Banksy piece, chances are a giant slab of concrete is not going to be all that well received. Enter the modern day miracle of plastic. Make it look like their house was visited by one of the most famous identity-unknown humans to ever walk the earth. Because after all, are you sure it wasn’t?

Amazon.com