Take a little field trip to the spot where your two souls first collided. Revisiting the place where your journey together started will mark just how far you’ve come. You may not have known it back then, but this little slice of the universe gave birth to what the two of you share today. Go ahead, see if those butterflies start to flutter again…
Speed is dangerous, but some kinds are more dangerous than others. This one is mostly just fun. But be careful: once they’ve experienced the feeling of flying around the track, the engine roaring like a wild beast, the smell of smoldering rubber in the air, they may never quite be the same.
Every dinner party needs a little edge. After the guests have feasted upon the fine fare laid out in front of them and warmed their innards with wine, brandy, or some other fine spirit, it’s time for everyone to be reminded that ill-considered choices can indeed have bad consequences. But you see, the trick of this game is that the actions mandated on these cards only seem like ill-considered choices. They are, in fact, carefully selected and annotated experiments fully backed by science and reason, engineered to titillate and elicit grins and guffaws.
Extend the celebration of your love for weeks, months even, with these personalized devotion vouchers. Your soul mate will revel in the chance to squeeze as much attention out of you as they possibly can—they might even try to double or triple their bounty if the rules allow for it—and you can earn extended reward points for being such a generous partner. Send your sweetheart on a shopping spree through the romance department where expiration dates never apply!
There are plenty of ways that couples grow closer, become more alike, and eventually merge into a single organism. Girding your loins with the same fabric is one of them. It’s as natural as adopting each other’s vocabulary, sharing your mannerisms, learning to eat new foods, and eventually starting to look like each other. This is the normal progression of life, and this is the brand that would like to help you take the next step.
At age 38, Phil Ivey became the youngest player to win 10 World Series of Poker bracelets. Now the man known for his enigmatic table presence—and widely regarded as the world’s best all-around poker player—gives you unprecedented access to his mental game. Learn poker strategy, pick up new poker tips, and review hands with the player who’s won more than $26 million in live tournament earnings.
You’ve done so many amazing things together that you might be hard pressed for an novel idea on the next date night. Don’t panic, we’ve found the perfect solution with this gift. 52 new ideas that are sure to keep things interesting. The best part? They’ll love it so much they won’t even realize that you may have bought it with yourself in mind. We won’t tell if you won’t…
After a long day at work, they’ll love to come home and fall face-first into the inviting crevices of this butt-shaped head haven. But this is not just a gag gift — this pillow happens to be a great shape to accommodate any sleeping position. With real butt-like tactile qualities, a silky inner lining, and removable yoga pant cover, they’ll look forward to stuffing their face right up in there every night. Soft, comforting, and ergonomical — they’ve never experienced booty sleep like this.
One of the biggest problems with being in public is there are so many things you’re either required or tempted to touch. Door handles, ATM touchscreens, animals, garbage…the list is practically endless. And it’s all contaminated with a never-ending litany of biological hazards and impurities. Germs, chemicals, and various bodily fluids are liberally smeared upon all the surfaces of our civilization. This keychain multitool is the gift from the gods of hygiene we’ve all been waiting for.
If they stuffed some bacon into this box, this would be Ron Swanson’s dream gift. Offering an assortment of classic manly items like booze, old-time hair paste, leather tote bags, and quite the variety of bladed implements, this is a monthly grab bag of masculine goodies tailored to each recipient’s preferences as determined by a pre-delivery personality test. No guessing here — just solid dude gifts based on hard data and great gift-giving instincts.
It’s said that when one lover thinks about the other, the distant partner’s heart glows with a bright, penetrating light like the first emanating rays of a newborn star. But because your heart is buried deep within the dark, wet recesses of your torso, you just have to take their word for it. Wouldn’t it be so much better to see it with your own eyes? These long distance light-up bracelets are a big improvement over that strange piece of ancient folklore.
Natural materials exude a timeless class that never goes out of style. In fact, it’s almost impossible to look bad when you’re wearing a wooden watch (that’s not an invitation to try). These beautiful accessories go with just about every wardrobe style - all the way from yuppie to hippie, and everything in between. Even a clown suit. And really, that’s the true measure of style: does it look good on a clown suit?
Having to repeat yourself is such a bore. These comfortable foam sandals leave a clear message behind you, so you can give the command without opening your mouth. Trips to the beach will get a lot cheaper and easier now that your minions know exactly what to do.
For many people, using chopsticks is a skill that defies mastery. Like a hopeful Zen master sitting in the forest year after year, trying to hear the sound of one hand clapping, time after time the hapless chopsticker comes up empty. Even after years of dedicated effort, the Hunan style broccoli cascades back to the plate long before it reaches the lips. So once again, The Force comes to the rescue. These are the only chopsticks that carry The Force. At long last, problem solved.
We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
As you’re probably aware, life has the ability to present far more than 100 unique deadly situations. However, for anyone looking to become death-proof, these 100 skills are the perfect place to start. This Navy SEAL penned survival guide offers up the most essential tricks and techniques to foil the grim reaper and his various earthly minions wherever and however they may haunt the reader. From battle-tested death maneuvers to everyday survival and evasion strategies, this book has what it takes to take any average Joe or Jane from “dead meat” to Badass Street.
The sounds of imaginary laser gun battles has filled homes across the world since the freakin' 1970s. Did the audio effects creator on the original Star Wars movie, Ben Burtt, have any idea the sound he used for blasters, the sound of a rock hitting a radio tower's support cables, would be mimicked for decades by millions of hyperactive kids and adults? Unlikely, but it was a genius idea anyway. Here's a gift that appeals to the interplanetary freedom fighting kid in all of us.
Matching t-shirts and twin bracelets are cute, but they don’t send quite the same message of togetherness that a committed couple should be aiming for. Take yourself off the market definitively with some appearance-altering skin ink. The latest in relationship branding, these companion tattoos add a whole new degree of permanence to the relationship. Be brave and go bold, but make hay while the sun shines, lovebirds—body art looks best on young, supple skin!
Go ahead, throw this in the white elephant gift pile and see if anyone has the balls to steal it. This is the kind of gift that nobody will ever forget, for better or for worse. Its usefulness is overshadowed only by the shamelessness of its name and the absurdity of its marketing - true signs of a product with lasting power. In the context of a normal one-to-one gift giving scenario, you risk having it taken as an insult, but in a white elephant gift exchange, at the very least you’ll get a few laughs, and who knows? You might even open up a whole new world to some lucky soul in need.
There’s nothing better than when someone goes and solves a problem you didn’t know you had, without even being asked. Such is the case with this pocket knife style key organizer. Among the benefits afforded by this customizable device are increased pocked comfort, improved aesthetics, and the ability to slip into one’s house soundlessly, like a thief. It’s really superior to the old-style keychain in every conceivable way.