College isn’t all fun and games. There’s a lot of work and a lot of stress, what with all the newfound responsibility. On top of that, you’re not allowed to leave for most of the year. In a lot of ways it’s like a really pleasant, barely supervised labor camp. In short, there are a lot of things a college student can use help with, from homesickness to life advice, from school supplies to basic safety and hygiene. Mercifully, you no longer have to guess what they want. They want this stuff right here.
Truthfully, a college cookbook could be a mere three lines long: 1) boil water, 2) add noodles, 3) stir in shrimp flavor packet. Lucky for the soon-to-be debt-laden youth of America, the authors of this book went several steps further, compiling a collection of recipes that are easy, delicious, and cheap — while also hitting all of the main requirements of human nutrition, so even a broke English major doesn’t have to worry about ailments like the dreaded “Freshman scurvy.”
Going to college means getting up and motivated for early morning classes, often after a late night of doing what college is really about - homework, right? It’s easy for students to forget to set an alarm, or to select PM instead of AM before passing out, from all that learning. A smart alarm clock can be programmed ahead of time to match their class schedule. On Monday it knows to go off at 7 in the morning, but on Tuesday it lets them sleep it off till 10.
The years spent in college are the ones where teenagers turn into young adults and are ready to take on the world. Even so, it’s not uncommon for them to miss their own little corner of the globe from time-to-time. Make their dorm room a home away from home with a candle that will remind them of their roots. It’s the perfect way to cure homesickness.
This high-tech notebook combines the best of cutting-edge technology and old fashioned pen and paper. Send notes directly to the cloud using the Rocketbook smartphone app, and erase the notebook for reuse up to five times using a microwave. For real. Now if you could only microwave away your long history of embarrassing Instagram posts.
Studies show that short naps can significantly improve mental performance. Here is their very own plush, portable head enclosure, so no matter where they are, they can take a nap so peaceful they’ll be angry that they woke up. Angry and smart as hell.
Celebrate their roots with one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they’re from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they’ll know approximately where to send them.
A long time ago, in the distant past, kids used to put baseball cards in the spokes of their wheels to turn their bikes into motorcycles. We’ve come a long way since then. Now, we modify our bikes to actually make them self-powered, not just sound like it. The GeoOrbital Wheel is super easy to install - just remove the front wheel of your bike and hook this thing up in its place, and the next thing you know, you’re leaving the other bikes in your dust.
As with many things in life, sometimes it’s best to leave it up to the experts. Especially when those experts are willing to put in all of the work creating unbeatable care packages on a monthly basis. With these subscription plans, you get to choose how many monthly packages you want to send, and for which months. A surefire way to delight their addled little brains in between all that painful studying and learning.
Here is a compilation of tips, tricks, hints and advice for the college bound student. For example, did you know that instead of taking a shower and cleaning up their dorm room they can spread dry tea bags around to absorb the odor? Or instead of keeping their shoes off the coffee table they can use oil and vinegar to get the scratches out. There are lots of useful ideas in here that can help one navigate through these challenging years of academics and hygiene.
When you send your kids off to college, you try not to think about all the bad things that can happen on a given day with nobody responsible to look after them. Contusions, scrapes, broken bones, burns, gouges, dislocations, etc. Anyway, it’s not your problem anymore. Ship them off with a clean conscience.
Wouldn’t those eggs look better with their gorgeous face next to them? Any photograph can be converted into a template that will burn their beautiful mug right into every piece of bread that goes in the toaster. Fret no more, narcissism doesn’t have to wait until after breakfast.
We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
Time to do some studying before you arrive on campus. Get some sage advice on how to avoid the most common pitfalls of college freshmanhood, from someone who’s been there and done that. They’ll sit back and laugh at their classmates as their lives unravel.
Now that the internet has taken the place of “those magazines”, your college student should have plenty of room under the bed for this compact, sturdy rolling safe. Help them protect their valuables from that drunken, morally-challenged stranger they’ll be sharing an intimate space with. And their roommates.
God, do we even have to explain this one? It’s unlikely you remember a single house party from your college days where something or someone did not end up aflame. Or maybe you didn’t go to a state school. But it’s always better safe than sorry. Even more, better safe than on fire.
One thing about living with a roommate for the first time in college is that, typically speaking, your lives are both a mess. This leads to the problem of confusing your stuff for theirs, among other things. The best way to avoid this problem? Have stuff that looks nothing like anyone else’s. A laser cut wooden notebook is a great start. The beautiful and intricate designs are like an anti-accidental theft device. Much more effective than yelling, “Put that down, that’s mine!”
Squirrels are tireless and determined. They let no obstacle stand in their way. Cunning and resilient, they persist until victorious. No mission is too dangerous, and no nut is left behind. If squirrels could read, they would likely be big fans of Ayn Rand and her message of hard work, ingenuity and the pursuit of your own happiness. This funny motivational wall poster will lighten your day while reminding you to be brave and unstoppable like the mighty squirrel.
Show your appreciation and love symbolically and financially at the same time. What lasts longer in a college student’s dorm room/apartment: a dozen roses, or a dozen wads of cash? We’re betting on the former, but now you can find out.
The only problem with an oven is that it’s so much bigger than a pizza. Nobody knows why. This rotating pizza oven is compact and has separately-controlled, programmable bottom and top heating elements so your pizza comes out perfect every time. Fast, efficient, energy-saving, and delicious.
Some people need visual feedback in order to understand their progress. With these right and left brain bookends, they can literally watch as their mind expands with each book added to the shelf. Of course, they still have to read them to absorb the knowledge. Let’s hope you don’t have to explain that.
Since nobody seems to be interested enough to invent an ever-lasting battery, it looks like we’re all stuck charging our phones every day for the foreseeable future. But before you throw you hands up in disgust and ask how it could possibly get worse, there is some good news. The same lazy, inconsiderate tech “geniuses” who refuse to make forever batteries have at least found the decency to create a little pad that charges smartphones without having to plug them in. And really, it’s the least they could do.
Ping pong is an activity that virtually anyone can get into. Along with “sports” like curling, mini golf, and shooting cans off of fence posts, it’s a game of physical skill that requires absolutely no meaningful athletic ability. That makes it a game of the people, if you will. And the best part about this kit is that it’s portable, as the name implies, and extremely fast to set up. Just supply the tabletop. If they could use a little dose of competitive fire, this might do the trick.
Rugged, non-slip, waterproof, and shockproof, this rock-solid external hard drive will keep their data safe no matter how hopelessly clumsy or reckless they are. USB 2.0 and 3.0 compatible and built like a tank. The coordination-challenged student’s best friend.
The perfect portable self-defense device/sock-under-the-bed finder. If they had these in horror movies, everyone would still be alive. Compact and heavy-duty, this stun gun flashlight will fit right in their purse or sit comfortably on their nightstand for when their roommate sneaks in to steal their favorite shirt again.
This giant bean bag is big enough for two, but it’s so comfortable they may not want to share it. Study in luxury or take a long nap between exams. Either way, we promise they’ll find a use for this that they soon can’t live without. But beware: just like their last questionable relationship, people have been known to disappear into these for months.
In the cramped environs of a college dorm or campus apartment, every piece of furniture, every appliance, and every personal belonging must be carefully considered. This mini toaster oven, with its small footprint and ability to make a wide range of delicious foods like pizza, toast, bagels, paninis, and cookies (just to name a few) is a definite keeper. And being as bread-based foods are great at slowing the absorption of both caffeine (saving their developing adrenal glands from overload and chronic fatigue) and alcohol (saving precious liver and brain cells), this contraption can be considered both a food appliance and a medical device. A fine choice indeed.
This shiny, meticulously crafted piece of fine art is so beautiful and weird that it will fit in absolutely anywhere. Their little sister will think it’s hilarious, their friends will be confused but impressed, and their art teacher will recognize them as a true connoisseur. Time to level up their art game.
For the frugal homemaker, there can never be too many ways to save space and eliminate unnecessary appliances, utensils, and the like. So a single stove-top skillet that allows you to fire up a full three-course meal in one go? You bet your sweet pork chop, corn, and baked beans that’s gonna find a place in lots of kitchens. And consider that it’s stain resistant, built to last, and safe for the oven and dishwasher, and it’s clear someone had their thinkin’ cap on at the old pots and pans factory.
There’s plenty of things that a Prime membership is useful for, getting their much-needed textbooks to them as quickly as possible being one of them. It also comes with a comprehensive streaming service full of their favorite films and some of the best boxsets around but we’re sure they won’t use it for that, just the textbooks, honest.
For many wide-eyed young adults, the future looks ripe with opportunity as they imagine the glorious journey they’ll have while turning all their dreams into realities. Of course we know, most of those dreams will not materialize and many enthusiastic attempts at success will end in miserable failure. As this enlightening book explains, this seemingly endless floundering is actually the typical path towards real prosperity. Most of the important lessons in life are learned through mistakes and failures, lessons that culminate at some point (even if through sheer brute force and stubborn determination) in eventual success.
This white noise machine makes sleeping in even the most raucous frat house a breeze. Compact and fully adjustable, it will drown out the sound of their roommates playing beer pong, dancing, yelling, or doing whatever fun activity they have decided to forego out of a sense of responsibility to their future.
Mark Manson seriously doesn’t give a f*ck, and he wants you to not give a f*ck too. Despite its (not so subtle) title, this book isn’t about not caring. It’s about not caring about the things that don’t matter so you can give your energy to the things that do. Straightforward, contrarian, and positively life-changing.
They’ve survived this far living outside the bubble, but why push their luck? Give them this insanely fun inflatable bubble ball, and hope they’re inside it the next time they do something indescribably stupid. A great way to insulate themselves against life’s hard uncertainties.
In case you’re not aware, death is always clawing its way into you through every pore. Make sure everyone else knows this too by giving them this book. College students are especially clueless. Shatter their precious illusions of health and vitality, in the most entertaining and hilarious way possible. A perfect gag gift for your favorite hypochondriac.
Good luck convincing them this isn’t an acid flashback. This remote-controlled fish will be a welcome break from conventional pets that need feeding and only stay in the air for a few seconds. Holds enough helium to turn any house party into a chipmunk colony.
They will make lots of friends in college, and some of them will be grimy as hell. Their roommates’ friends will be even worse. And their roommates will possibly be worse still. This handheld vacuum not only leaves everything it touches spotless, it eliminates most of the things you don’t want to catch while sitting on the couch or walking across the bathroom floor.
We all get sick of real life from time to time, and that extends to the things we put in our mouths. These tablets, made from the West African miracle berry, alter taste perception by turning sour flavors to sweet. Drink a bottle of lemon juice like it’s Kool-Aid, or eat a lime like it’s a strawberry. Guaranteed to confuse, worry, and astound everyone you know.
The Nintendo Switch combines the best of at-home entertainment with on-the-go gaming. Nintendo has always been at the forefront of portable gaming, going all the way back to the original Game Boy. But portability in gaming isn’t everything. Sure, it’s great for torturously long rides in the back of the minivan, but nobody wants to sit on the couch and play video games on a tiny portable device while there’s a ginormous flatscreen TV six feet away. The Switch’s dual capabilities solve this problem for good, going from handheld device to living-room gaming system in the blink of an eye.
Keeping practical supplies in the car in case of emergency is something we all should do – yet many people out there on the road haven't added so much as a band-aid to their car’s inventory. That’s right, in the event of a blizzard, those store receipts and empty fast food bags won’t save you. Shocking, we know. This Auto Survival Kit on the other hand…
A mountain of textbooks to be read and plenty of essays to be written would leave anyone in need of a good dose of caffeine. Four years’ worth of reading and writing makes coffee just about as essential as a pen and paper. Good thing your favorite college student has you on hand to provide them with this essential piece of equipment.
Why are you still struggling to light a charcoal fire when there’s a 90 billion megaton flaming ball hanging above you? Stop trying to be the hero of the story and set up this reflective solar cooker, then let daylight do the rest. Does NOT double as a tanning device.
The last thing they need is more stuff, and at the end of it all it’s really the experiences that they will cherish the most. Help them create some new memories to look back on by finding a fun activity to do locally. Be adventurous and choose something they’ve near done before. It’s a gift that will enrich their life and yours too.
Great art doesn’t always take the form you’re expecting. Twitter gives everyone with a phone and an opinion to spare the chance to reach millions of people with a single ill-conceived utterance. With all that verbal garbage coursing through the airwaves, bizarre gems are certain to arise. Lest they drift away and go to waste, someone had the brilliant idea to start framing them. Move over Picasso, it’s time to make room for the real modern art.
You’d be surprised what passes for research these days. A show like Game of Thrones can replace the hours a student would have had to spend poring over Machiavelli’s The Prince and the Kama Sutra. Come to think of it, they might not teach those books in college. Whatever. Learning is learning.
One of the things about college is that, while you do learn many useful things, you also learn a lot of stuff that sounds nice but doesn’t actually work. It’s good to balance that out with some really terrible things that do work, even if you kind of wish they didn’t. That’s pretty much this whole book.
Some college students suffer from a rare disorder in which their chemistry and history text books fail to put them to sleep. In that case, they should be read in the glow of this NASA designed light bulb, which filters out blue light to help stimulate production of melatonin. Help them re-establish a healthy reaction to learning.
This pocket implement is full of old-school charm. Besides, very few of life’s problems cannot be solved with a miniature knife, a miniature nail file, or a miniature pair of scissors. This is the very tool that helped the Swiss Army win the famous Battle of Naples in 1976.
Long gone are the days when a backpack is merely something to carry your textbooks in, if you have to carry your books at all. Modern backpacks are packed with the latest in mobile technology for students who are always on the move. Like a built-in wireless hard drive, which is brilliant for anyone who wants to cross campus without hauling heavy books around with them.
College is probably the first time that they’ve lived away from home and something that they can never be too prepared for. This little book of instructions will give them all the advice they need to survive four years at their academic institution and come out the other side ready and raring to take on the world.
If you’re like most people, your mouth waters when you hear the sound of crickets chirping, but you hold back because of the social consequences of eating live insects. Or perhaps not. Maybe you just know someone who’s looking for a more interesting, eco-friendly way to get a nutritious protein fix. These are for them too.
Escape the stressors of the real world by venturing into the virtual land of, well, whatever some demented programmer came up with. Virtual reality applications are expanding all the time into areas no one ever thought of, and pretty soon everyone is going to want one of these. Help a college student you know get on the VR train first.
A safety net for the mechanically impaired, AAA is a one-of-a-kind grease monkey support network that can be relied upon to rescue them at any time of day or night. Because deep down inside, you know that for every happy ending, there’s a 1990 Camaro on the side of the road somewhere with a skeleton in the front seat.
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
Nothing adds a bit of natural flair to an outdoor party better than a large piece of fruit that gets you drunk. Just hollow out a watermelon, insert the tap, and fill it up with your favorite beverage. Let them show off their inner DIY in the coolest way possible.
The ultimate guide to what they should have learned already, with a title that communicates what you can’t bring yourself to say out loud. The world may be a nicer place than the one you grew up in, but it still can’t help punishing dumbasses. Help them get it together.
It has been prophesied that the apocalypse will not come via comet or nuclear war, it will come when the world’s caffeine sources dry up. But that’s not for another 15 or 20 years. Until then, it should be approached with a complete lack of self-control. Give them a leg up with a buzz you should need a prescription for.
Whether it’s the simple act of putting together a résumé or the shifty art of mastering office politics, a new or soon-to-be graduate needs guidance from someone who has had their boots on the ground. They’ve put all this work into getting smart; don’t let them get stomped by some stone-dumb backstabber with a better plan.
Help alleviate their fear of the unknown by bombarding them with all the sordid details upfront. Bestselling syndicated advice columnist Harlan Cohen will hold their proverbial hand as they navigate the choppy waters of college freshmanhood. Prepare them for their first adventure living away from home so they can take the weird in stride.
Finally, you can write freehand on your computer without ruining the screen. This combination bluetooth pen/receiver captures your silly little doodles and saves them as digital files. Save your notes without having to type them into a word processor.
You have to admit: after a spaceship, this really is the mother of all gifts. And unlike the spaceship, they’ll know how to use a laptop. From paper writing to research to visual design, a laptop is an indispensable piece of equipment that will get constant use. If they don’t give you a sincere, wholehearted thank you for this, you have strict permission to never talk to them again.
In the age of AI and computer automation, we need to resist the machines any way we can. This is a great way to start — with a hand-cranked portable washing machine. The manual washing machine is a perfect statement of self-sufficiency and independence, and it’s a wonderful way to recruit someone you know into the resistance. It also allows the user to get the laundry done while on the road, while camping far away from electricity, or even during a hypothetical apocalypse. All in all, it’s a necessary tool in today’s world. The revolution starts here.
They won’t always have time to jump in the car and drive to the beach, so bring the beach to their desktop. They’re way too old now to play in the neighborhood sandbox without starting rumors, so let them relive their childhood in privacy.
These are the hottest headphones on the market for a reason. Sturdy and versatile with a strong, tight low-end sound, they perform well with anything, but really shine when playing modern music. If you ever thought college students were hard to get through to, you should see them when they’ve got these stuck to their skulls.
Bean bags aren’t just for kids anymore. And even if they were, everyone knows Millennials have no intention of growing up. A bean bag chair is the perfect midway point: it feels just like what they want to sit on, but it’s shaped sort of like the furniture old people use.
Let the chips fall where they may with this knockoff of the famous The Price Is Right game. This will add a little suspense to one of college’s most time-honored traditions, the obliteration of unneeded brain cells. Drinko helps facilitate social bonding by giving them a chance to delight in each other’s misery. House parties will never be the same.
When you were a kid, you thought we would all have jetpacks by now. Somewhere along the line they dropped the ball on that one, but this is a nice consolation prize. Help them harness the cosmic rays that maintain all life on Earth for what they really care about: keeping up with their Facebook news feed.
Chivalry, handiness, and other old-time male values are making a big comeback. This is the perfect guide to how to be the manly man that girls swoon over and lesser man-boys look up to. Let him read this once over before he heads off to college, and he’ll be the only adult in the room - well, relatively speaking.
When you go off to college, one of the things that weighs on your mind is who is going to monitor your perishables. They’re likely to have lots of fruit and dairy products that could easily spoil if left in the wrong hands. God, think of all that wasted wholesomeness.
Usually, the less attention they draw the better. Just think back to Christmas a few years ago, prom night, great uncle Ed’s funeral, that one time at the DMV, or (insert regrettable memory here). Among the few exceptions are those times when they’re likely to get run over. Give the gift of visibility.
Most people don’t understand the technical side of beer pouring, or beer consumption for that matter. Display your nerdhood proudly for all to see, and let everyone know you speak the language. These glasses send a clear message: get with the program.
It’s the well-known college stereotype, the pizza box left on the floor for days, maybe weeks before getting picked up. We think this is one that they won’t mind having left around though. This cleverly designed little oven is perfect for homemade pizzas, frozen pizzas or, seeing as they’re students, heating up the leftovers.
The market is saturated with college grads, and they’re going to need a backup plan. That plan is, and always has been, gold! While they’ve been drinking Keystone Light and playing X-Box (or worse, writing math problems and studying business plans), the smart folks have been in the hills filling up their pockets with precious metals. And having a blast doing it.