You have to be careful with the sentimental gifts. They make some people fill up with warm and fuzzy feelings, but they also make some people vomit all over their immediate surroundings. A funny gag gift can be a great way to maintain the appropriate emotional distance, a great way to say I love you too much to make you nauseous, or a great way to hit pretty much any point in between.
Bring toast into the twenty-first century with the most narcissistic toaster yet! Metal inserts will brown your beautiful face onto every piece of toast you make. Freak out your one-night stand with breakfast in bed featuring edible pictures of yourself. Just make sure to smile!
Desktop Punching Bag
Does your workmate punch their computer monitor every time the stress gets to be too much for them? Here’s a solution! The desktop punching bag attaches with suction to almost any desk surface. Your friend can relieve stress while working on their jab at the same time.
A mysterious wood and metal box featuring a single switch on top. When the switch is flipped, gears whirl into motion. The top opens up, and a tiny disembodied finger emerges to flip the switch back to its original position. The finger retreats back inside; the box closes. And that is it.
Horse Head Squirrel Feeder
We don’t know if it is a great idea to feed squirrels in your yard, to be perfectly honest, but we know for sure that it is a great idea to laugh at them. And that’s what you’ll do every single time one of our little gray buddies slips its little head into this oversized horse mask to have a snack.
Otamatone – The Worst Musical Instrument
For the musician who hates music, or for the kid whose parents you hate, there is the Otamatone, a “musical” instrument that makes the bagpipes seem reasonable. A touch sensitive bar on the neck changes pitch, while the little mouth at the bottom “sings” when squeezed. It all makes perfect sense (in Japan).
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
Star Trek Bathrobe
Perfect for lazy Sunday mornings on the bridge, these Original Show style bathrobes come in gold, blue, or red, and feature an embroidered insignia above the left breast and rank stripes on the arms. Drink coffee and explore the quadrant in these 100% cotton or microfleece ultra-casual uniforms.
Water Balloon Russian Roulette
Learn why playing Russian roulette is a bad idea the safe way with this hilarious gag toy set. Just fill a balloon with water (or blood, whatever), secure it inside the ring, put it next to your head, and pull the trigger. A little pin may or may not pop the balloon. And nobody gets hurt.
I Love You / I Know Cufflinks
Sure, die-hard star wars fans are not always the kind of classy dressers who need a pair of cufflinks, we get it. But the ones that are dapper like that will also know that the greatest line from the greatest Star Wars movie is exactly what you’d want on your writs before being put into carbon freeze.
Ugly Christmas Sweaters
When we say ugly Christmas sweater, what we actually mean is FUNNY Christmas sweater, and these are absolutely hilarious. Get one as a gag for everyone on your list and wait for the laughs (and heartfelt thank yous!) to start rolling in. Your loved ones will be rolling too, with laughter.
Follow Me Bring Beer Sandals
Imagine walking along a secluded beach to a secret, deserted cove. You lay on the pristine sand, soaking up the sun, just waiting. And then it happens. Someone has followed your trail; they have received your message. “Follow Me,” said your right footprint. “Bring Beer,” said your left. And they did.
World’s Largest Coffee Cup
We are not kidding around; this thing is BIG. It holds twenty cups of coffee, at least, which ought to be enough to keep even your sleepiest friends awake until at least mid-afternoon. This giant mug is a perfect funny gift for people who are serious about their coffee.
Remote Control Flying Fish
Giant fish that swim in the air? Isn’t that against the very laws of nature? Yeah, kind of, we guess, but these are filled with helium and are controlled with a remote, so it’s really not as dramatic as all that. Stays inflated for up to two weeks, and can be refilled over and over again.
Card That Never Stops Playing Music
You know how when someone gives you one of those cards that plays music you listen to it maybe once and then try never to open the card again? Well this card never stops playing. Open it once and it plays forever, whether it’s open or closed, or in the trash. It’s hilarious in the worst way possible.
Welcome. It’s nice, we guess, but how sincere does it seem as you are wiping your boots or knocking on the door? Wouldn’t you love to open your door to guests who are already laughing at your jokes? Get the perfect doormat to make your friends laugh every time they come or go.
For those that like a challenge, this wall clock’s hands run counterclockwise, which makes telling time a real chore. We suggest secretly replacing a friend’s regular clock with the backwards version just to see how long it takes for them to notice this lovely gift. If only it could turn back time for real.
Custom Voodoo Doll
This made-to-order voodoo doll is the perfect gift for your most vengeful friend. Just send in an image of who you want the doll to resemble, and the magic happens as your friend pushes pins into the doll’s most sensitive areas. Just be sure it doesn’t look anything like you.
Make fish jealous and friends queasy with a package of earthworm jerky. Packed with protein, these all-natural snacks really put the gag in gag gift. Great for toddlers and blind folk, or for anyone who likes to freak out their family. Clean and ready to eat. Hold the dirt.
Giant Gummy Bear
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
World’s Largest Kit Cat Clock
This is not your grandfather’s Kit Cat Clock, but it is, ironically the size of a grandfather clock. The modern classic gets a big size upgrade, but the iconic smile, rolling eyes, and swinging tail are all still here. You’re going to love this giant kitty.
Larvets Edible Bugs
We have long maintained that the only reason people think eating bugs is gross is because society is uptight about it. They taste fine! They are eco-friendly! The have lots of protein! Birds eat them, right? You think you’re better than a bird? You can’t even fly! Try them, we triple dog dare ya!
Custom Fortune Cookies
Give these fortune cookies to a friend and tell them you had extra from last night’s dinner. Be sure to have the camera rolling when they crack one open and see your bizarre custom message inside. Pick something that no cookie should know about them. Imagine their confusion when they read “You should break up with Mary. She should have been more careful with your Ramones t-shirt” or “Don’t forget to get your car inspected. It’s been overdue since July.”
This teapot made from 100% dark chocolate can probably only be used once, but that one time will be unforgettable. Just add hot water and the inside of the teapot transforms into a gooey pot of chocolate fondue. Add some hot milk and cocoa for hot chocolate that pours out of the chocolate spout. Then eat whatever is left!
The Man Bowl
Do you know a dude who’ll be wagging his tail every time he bellies up to this macho bowl? Here, boy … it’s feeding time! Sorry, treats for good behavior aren’t included, but you may want to throw in a bib in case meal time gets a little sloppy and you want to encourage good table manners. For the chap who’s not into china patterns and just wants to know where to go to get his grub on, this tough guy dish is sure to get him salivating!
How To Poo At Work
Looking for some quality literature for those extended trips to the potty? Hands (and pants) down, this go-to guide to number two etiquette in the workplace should be part of performance evaluations and new hire orientations. A whole new concept for on-the-job training, this handy briefcase buddy is the perfect gag gift that’s guaranteed to relieve some of the pressure we all feel at work. When duty calls … will you be prepared?
R2-D2 Fleece Robe
Is this sexy loungewear or what?! Sci-fi doesn’t just have to live on the big screen … galactic space fashion has invaded the cozy world of terry cloth and no closet should be without it. Stylish and futuristic, this fitting nod to the Star Wars empire should be an essential piece in every superfan’s closet. Give the tired robe look a visionary facelift with this droid-lover’s keepsake … the starship is waiting!
Crafting with Cat Hair
Who needs mink coats when they can have the whole kit and caboodle made from plush fur balls? Put that puss to work and crank out some nifty doodads that will have everyone and their tabby ooh-ing, aah-ing and purring from sun up to sun down. A gift anyone can really wrap their paws around, this handy guide is a humane, albeit quirky, collection of charming ideas for the feline lover on your list. Simply meow-velous!
The recipient of this whimsical gift doesn’t have to be into taxidermy per se, just lonely enough to need a host of rodent performance artists for companions. These furry friends won’t leave droppings around the house like those other mischievous crumb-tracking critters already inhabiting the home. A class above the rest, this quirky cast of players will provide endless entertainment and quiet company, far outperforming other domesticated pet breeds. And the Emmy goes to…
Feisty Pets Plush
Why not reward the passive-aggressive person in your life with a playful beast that best personifies the light and dark sides of their personality? Raw emotional expression can be quite therapeutic and these cuddly critters are particularly gifted when it comes to delivering love and horror with just one forcible squeeze. Lifeless teddy bears are dreadfully dull and possibly creepier than these cheeky creatures. This badass gift is sure to raise the shock factor at the next occasion!
Grow the F*ck Up
Tough love is so underrated! School a clueless loved one in your life with this lifesaving gift and help reduce the number of whiny adults wandering aimlessly around the planet. There’s nothing wrong with helpful handouts (especially when it comes to gift giving!), but sometimes an in-your-face “hand-up” is the most effective approach if you’re pissing off family and friends left and right. Get over it and just get it done!
This killer accessory is hardly a gag gift. The recipient of this fine headwear will be commanding respect on the racquetball court and sopping up sweat in style while weed whacking the front lawn. There’s something irresistibly strapping about mullets, and there’s no doubt they’ll reemerge as a hairdo trend if not in this decade, certainly the next. Of course, the lucky stallion that’s sporting this feathered mane has to have the proper attitude to match and that just can’t be taught, so give wisely, my friend!
Giant Winking Eye Bag
Having eyes on the back of your head would be nice … but how about one humungous peeper shooting from the hip instead? Talk about a pickpocket deterrent! Thieves won’t touch this mesmerizing purse with a ten-foot pole. Whoever’s strolling around with this blinding baby blue better be dressed to the nines because all eyes will be fixated on her! Strangely inviting and incredibly attentive, this ocular gag gift will inspire and amaze. Here’s lookin’ at you, kid!
Flatulence Filtering Underwear
Chances are you know someone that can really light up a room … and we’re not talking about their charismatic smile or doll-faced eyes! Keep those sulfur bombs in check with some iron-clad undies. These fashion-forward undergarments keep the toxic gases under wraps so that friends, family members and innocent strangers with a razor-sharp sense of smell won’t be subjected to senseless, noxious pollution of the lower region. Strap these babies on and let ’er rip!
The lucky recipient of these handy hi-tech gloves will be dressed to impress at any outdoor excursion or special ops affair. The ultimate in wireless fashion accessories, these snug-fitting paw protectors will keep your pal connected at all times and make them the envy of every screen-hungry mobile phone junkie from San Francisco to Dubai. Even 007 will be begging to get his hands on these ultra cool mobility mitts. Those hands were made for talking!
Pens No One Will Borrow
Pocket protectors just might come back in style with a load of these ball-point beauties floating around the office! Give a gift that provides unlimited entertainment and sparks giggle-filled impromptu conversations between strangers and friends. Give a gift that will infuse a splash of off-color humor to every scribble, John Hancock or transcription that hits the page. You can put that in writing, my friend!
Golf Club Urinal
Relieving yourself into an empty beer can might seem like a bright idea, but it doesn’t quite make the grade at the country club golf course. For all those chaps who can’t seem to get that coveted hole-in-one, this discreet port-a-potty is the next best thing. That handy-dandy golf towel wasn’t just made for polishing the five irons … talk about the perfect-sized curtain for answering the call of nature. Don’t let a full bladder spoil your eagle on the 9th hole. Drain that lizard in style and tee up like a true gentleman!
The perfect gag gift for the ultimate “head case” on your list, this handsome dome will keep their precious cranium protected and cloaked in darkness at any time of day or night. A home away from home for any head honcho who’s determined to cash in on their beauty sleep no matter what, this pop-up skull spa outperforms all the leading sleep masks and takes nap time to an entirely new domain. Snuggle up and put the sheep to bed—it’s hibernation season!
For the nuke-obsessed friend who’s searching for a tad more naturally occurring radiation in their life, this handy rock will make them feel like they’ve got some atomic ammo in their pocket. This harmless dose of unenriched uranium may not impress Kim Jong-un, but it’s sure to fire up some good old fashioned chit chat about the periodic table and perhaps even educate a few clueless heads about Earth’s metals. A great gag gift for the Cold War fanatic in your life, this powerful element packs a punch!
Underpants for Your Hands
For those who love showing off their undergarments every chance they get, these snug gloves are the perfect fit! A quirky blend of sexy and juvenile, these novelty undie mitts exude confidence and witty playfulness. Who says briefs were only intended to hug the jewels of the lower region? Form-fitting handwear is freakishly hot. Tidy or soiled, these tighty-whities are the perfect prank for friends and foes alike.
It’s time for a little morbid fun, don’t you think? This grisly specimen is the ultimate in ghastly gifts, sinking its teeth into the hearts of all who affix their gaze to the jar. Sealed with a blood-curdling kiss, this extraterrestrial creature will fool and amaze, and add a touch of ghoulish gore to any décor. Terrify the living daylights out of that special person on your gift-giving list and honor the mad scientist within with this taxidermy-inspired find.
Shittens Moist Wipes
A gift-giving essential for all those hand sanitizer addicts out there, these foolproof wipes can’t be beat. Bypass the Purell altogether and don these antiseptic gloves for all-day protection. Just remember to dispose of them responsibly and de-mitten prior to shaking hands, doling out fist bumps and picking out produce at the supermarket. Traditional toilet tissue just doesn’t stand a chance next to these all-purpose cleansing mitts. Hip-hip-hooray for hand hygiene!
For all those star-starved city dwellers and constellation lovers, these twinkle-packed envelopes deliver endless entertainment. A much tidier alternative to adding glitter to that special greeting card, these delightful pouches double as a mindless distraction for the overworked, uninspired gift recipient on your list. Infuse a little celestial joy into that routine correspondence and provide an escape from the everyday mundane. Snail mail just might be making a comeback!
Cat Toilet Training Kit
This amazing kitty potty seat is no joke. Send a message that’s loud and clear to the feline lover on your list—that litter’s got to go! It’s time to put the pee pee and the woo woo in their rightful place and rid the house of that toxic dust that’s taking the allergen factor off the charts. Tigger and Puss deserve some toilet time too, but just remember to plan for a little added traffic at the porcelain throne!
Up the ante on that Bingo game with this rainbow assortment of colorful daubers. Ideal for the most dedicated players on the circuit, this top-of-the-line marker collection will make competitors’ cards pale in comparison. Whoever lands these multicolored painters will be the envy of all at the winners’ table. Small-town gambling just got an upgrade to the high rollers club. Welcome to the Las Vegas strip of champions!
Chances are you’ll never get frisked in this hoodie … unless of course law enforcement wants to pat down some out-of-this-world plush “Chewie” goodness! A must-have for any Star Wars fanatic, this comfy zip-up is rugged, yet cuddly, and will grant the lucky owner instant Wookiee status. For all those drawn to space travel and epic fashion statements, this stellar jacket is light years away from all those earthly sweatshirts. Galactic greatness starts now!
Thought Controlled Cat Ears
If there’s someone in your cast of characters who’s hard pressed to express their feelings, this assistive device will be the key to their true reveal. Unleash the potential of nonverbal communication by taking some helpful pointers from our straight-shooting feline friends. Resist the temptation to add to the excess banter on the stage of self-expression and walk the path less traveled. Talk less, wiggle more!
Send A Message On A Potato
Don’t fall victim to the lure of those high-priced greeting cards with dancing daisies and singing Chihuahuas. There’s a much more original, biodegradable way to deliver your personalized sentiments—on one of the best staple crops worldwide … the potato! A straightforward, humble gift that’s suitable for any occasion, this starchy messenger will get the point across with unobtrusive creativity and foodie flair. This spud’s for you!
Dog Corn Holders
Don’t give a dog a bone … go for a corn on the cob instead! These whimsical prongs are precisely what every wiener dog enthusiast has been missing. With these perky fellas anchoring both ends of sweet, buttery corn, the cobs will be spinning and satisfying hungry appetites for hours on end. No need to sniff aimlessly around gift shops, hunting down the perfect present—follow the tracks of these hounds and delight a dachshund lover today!
The Official BS Button
This no-nonsense buzzer will cut through the crap faster than a hot knife through butta’! The authority on phony baloney, this bull buster means business and any soldier of truth would be beyond delighted to have it at their disposal. This gag gift is almost as good as a lie detector test, calling out tall tales and ridiculousness so authenticity can rule the airwaves once again. Better get your stories straight, fibbers!
USB Lie Detector
Don’t get fooled by all those savvy storytellers. Call out deceit like a pro with this perjury sleuth and be a champion of honesty. The lucky guy or gal who lands this tried-and-true gadget will feel like a modern-day Sherlock Holmes, weeding out fictitious fables and leaking the best con artists left and right. It’s time to get real and come clean … release those skeletons from the closet and let the truths be told!
Order a few pints of your favorite beverage and gather ’round for some cheeky entertainment with friends. These jovial drink coasters are the perfect gift to turn a lifeless rendezvous at the local pub into a memorable event that’s off the charts! Give facial hair a try and assume an alter-ego … these witty drinking companions will make every guest the life of the party. Don’t let boredom rule a potentially awesome evening. Add a touch of drama and let the fun unfold!
Gotta Go Disposable Restroom
The days of stooping in the bushes are over! Leave the woods to the creatures of the night and deposit your bodily waste where it rightfully belongs. This personalized port-a-potty system provides the privacy and peace of mind that every man, woman and child deserve. Who knew ponchos could transform the world of personal hygiene? This life-saving gift is a dignified approach to toileting that will help preserve wildlife for generations to come. Say hello to elimination freedom!
Tap A Tune Musical Gloves
Slip on these snazzy gloves and go to town with some magical keystrokes that will tantalize the eyes and ears of friends and family. Left your ivory keys at home? No problem! These pantomime-inspired mitts will entertain the littlest of listeners and spark musical curiosity for hours on end. Add in some handmade percussion and a string instrument or two and engage in a little improvisational fun. Musical gifts are second to none!
Sweat lodges are dangerous … and who has money lying around for weekly spa treatments anyway? Invest in a life-changing gift that will melt away pounds, pain and tension while being surrounded by the comforts of home. Zip up, zone out and tune in to the natural healing powers of the human body. Let the excess stress and weight drip from your pores and open up the channels of wellness and good health. Make time to feel good!
This brain teaser adds just the right dose of fun and trickery to torment that special someone on your gift-giving list. Convinced they’ve been hacked by the latest worm, Trojan and cryptic code to hit the malware scene, the lucky recipient will be scouring the internet for every possible remedy to the madness infecting their screen. This disruptive device is the kind of phenomenal gag gift that just keeps on giving and delivering torture until delirium sets in and then there’s no telling what might come next. May the hoax begin!
If you don’t mind looking like an alien sea creature while cashing in on some well-needed Zzz’s, then you’ve hit the jackpot with this exceptional headpiece. Dozing off in public doesn’t have to involve neck-breaking episodes of whiplash and excessive dry mouth. Form-fitting and hands-free, this ingenious sleep aid offers just the right amount of ventilation and strategic padding to provide a cushioned resting place to cradle that exhausted head. Rest easy, sleepyhead, help is on the way!
Fish Training Kit
Unlock the athletic potential of that sedentary goldfish and build your aquatic dream team with this extracurricular paradise. Fantasy football is for novices … this all-season water club provides endless diversion and astonishing entertainment while tapping into the recreational desires of our finned companions. Unlike any other pet accessories on the market today, this fish lover’s gift really stirs up the competition. Goooooaaaaalllll!
The absolute coolest gag gift ever, these incredible rhythm sensors will transform any air jam session into a full-on solo percussion performance. Friends and bandmates will be amazed by your skills as they join in with their own bodily sounds. Whatever the tempo, turn that thigh drumming, chest pumping and toe tapping into some recordable beats that will get any party jumping in no time flat!
Sarah Palin Knife
With this savage dagger in your pocket, it makes no difference whether you’re a Sarah Palin fan or not … but you sure better love wielding a badass blade! Whoever lands this razor-sharp gift will be walking with confidence and a go get ’em attitude to match. Be a champion of the wilderness while paying homage to a memorable moment in our nation’s political history. Time to buck up, America, there’s a new rogue in town!
Tagging your local supermarket might seem like a bright idea on a mischievous Friday night, but perhaps you should start with a canine canvas instead. Fido really has no choice but to comply with your graffiti-inspired creations and besides, he’ll bring your artwork to life by adding depth and texture to your compositions. Body paint has claimed a whole new species!
If you can find a special place in your heart for this hopeless blob, you’re either really lonely or you have a soft spot for endangered sea creatures that look like Elmer Fudd. Dolphins are overrated and seahorses just aren’t snuggly enough, so why not spring for a plump, lovable deep sea fish instead? A comforting gift that’s guaranteed to please any plush-loving pal on your list, this cuddly marine marshmallow will turn any frown upside down!
Is life on Earth getting you down? Turn your attention to the skies and give alien life forms a chance. The mysteries that lie beyond our galaxy may just be a few beeps and flashing lights away! As powerful as today’s smartphones are, they just can’t break the outer space barrier, so arm a friend with this supercharged gadget and get ready for some extraterrestrial correspondence that’s out of this world.
Fake Cell Phone for Screen Addicts
A one-step detox program for the most serious mobile phone offenders, this seemingly useless piece of plastic might be the best little investment you’ll ever make to save a loved one from a life of virtual addiction. A no-risk, idiot-proof security blanket for those who refuse to quit swiping, touch typing and face-timing their way through life, this may just be their best chance at cellular sobriety. Help is just one fake call away!
Knight Toilet Paper Holder
Chivalry is definitely not dead! It’s alive and well alongside the potty, delivering impeccable toilet tissue with courtesy and brawn. According to legend, Lancelot’s younger brother, Sir Pissalittle, one of Camelot’s seven Knights of the White Toilet Bowl, served as the source of inspiration behind this one-of-a-kind bathroom essential. The chosen recipient of this coveted gift must claim their rightful place at the porcelain throne, abide by the lavatory code of conduct and perform above and beyond the call of doodey.
Old Timers Survival Kit
Goodie bags aren’t just for the under-12 crowd. Splurge on a few golden-years essentials for that special someone who’s embarking on a new, more mature phase in life. The silver-haired set deserves a little fun-loving TLC that will remind them of all the joys (and pains) that go along with lasting sixty-plus years on the planet. With a wealth of over-the-counter paraphernalia to choose from, this treasure trove of ointments, elixirs, enhancers and upgrades will convince them of just how precious they are.
Prop Money Looks Like $50,000
Welcome to the high rollers club! This hefty wad of Benjamins is the ultimate gift for the money-hungry players on your list. Talk about immediate gratification … Enclose a pair of dark aviators, a squirt of hair gel and some ’tude to match and the lucky recipient will feel like they’ve won the cash kitty. Just advise them to proceed with caution though—that counterfeit bulge in their pocket might give them a renewed sense of confidence, but any careless misstep could land them on the FBI’s most wanted poster!
Edible Spray Paint
Surprise that adventurous foodie on your gift list with some airbrushed enhancement. Dinner party guests will be raving about their meal as they throw down ordinary fare disguised with brilliant hues and metallic glaze. There’s no need for floral centerpieces or fancy place cards when the food alone adds just the right splash of colorful decoration. The latest in gourmet graffiti, these festive paints make everyday meals extraordinary!
Bag of Unicorn Farts
Who doesn’t need a little more magic in their life? Add in a dose of sugary sweet silliness and let the troubles of our earthly world just melt away. Whether you’re a believer or not, unicorns have a special way of inspiring happy thoughts dripping with toot-filled colorful rainbows and puffy cotton candy clouds. Crack open a whimsical bag of fairyland flatulence and lighten up even the dreariest of days.
The Wine Rack
Feeling parched? Snuggle up to this double-fisted bosom and quench your thirst with some nectar of the gods. Best suited for full-bodied reds, this bra bar will serve up the finest burgundies, cabernets and merlots with seduction and sporty spunk. Thick or thin, the legs on this wine-lover’s paradise make consumption effortless, portable and pretty. Jug wine just got really awesome!
Wine Bottle Puzzle
If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach someone a valuable lesson by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.
Smoke Detector Deactivation Towel
You burned dinner again and now the smoke detector is wailing. It doesn’t realize that there is no actual emergency, and that you are just a bad cook. Luckily there is this hi-tech cutting edge device to restore tranquility. Dinner on the other hand is probably ruined.
Emergency Clown Nose
There are a small but important set of emergencies that can only be rectified with a clown nose. This has been demonstrated time and time again in hospitals rooms across the world. Sadly, there’s no money in clown noses, so big pharma keeps us in the dark.
Coffee Mug Sweater
From the first time someone put a sweater on a dog, all bets were off. Frankly, we’re shocked no one thought of this until now. People have been struggling for years to keep their coffee warm as long as they wanted, and their coffee has been struggling to look dapper. This is the final answer.
Puns never get old. In case you didn’t catch it, this one makes reference to the common name shared by small digital storage devices and the largest of the human fingers. Actually, there’s another one: “digital” storage device. They just keep coming! This useful gag gift will really knock a computer nerd’s socks off. And if they aren’t wearing any, it’ll knock their feet off.
Gummy Bear Anatomy Model
Gummy bears used to be cute until you knew what was inside of them. Pass the word on with this realistic larger-than-life plastic illustration of the insides of what used to be your favorite candy. Don’t let the candy manufacturers get away with this disgusting ruse any longer.
Peanut Butter and Jelly Purse
Most of the time people don’t like being surprised by what they find inside a sandwich. In fact it often leads to a lawsuit. In this case it just causes amusement and envy, as anyone who sees this funny novelty purse is going to want one.
Bring Me Wine Socks
Normally, the moment someone goes feet up is the appropriate time to stop feeding them wine, but socks with writing on them have a certain authority that is hard to ignore. That’s what makes these so useful: people will definitely listen. And if your feet are already up, you generally can’t fall any farther than you already have. It’s a sort of automatic safety feature.
Farting Animals Coloring Book
Animal farts are the most genuine, because they are done without the slightest comic intent. You could even say human farting is a corrupted act, because everyone knows they’ll get a reaction. Help celebrate flatulence in purest form, with all the colors of the rainbow.
Grilled Cheesus Sandwich Press
Why do the gullible and mentally disturbed get to have all the fun? Sometimes the rest of us want the face of Jesus on our stuff too. With this ingenious sandwich press, nobody has to question whether its a coincidence or not. This is the new face of intelligent design.
Give a Sh*t Coins
These coins allow the coin holder to show exactly what they give for another person’s opinion, feelings, or needs. It’s one thing to offer this information; it’s another thing entirely to have the minted currency to back it up. Help a friend put his money where his lack of empathy is.
U.S.S. Enterprise Owner’s Manual
In case you ever wondered whether Star Trek was real or not, here’s an authentic relic from the starship’s crew to settle the argument. Detailed information about technology, operations, and so on can be found in these pages. A must for any fan of the show, now they can finally tell people to stick it when they say that Star Trek wasn’t a documentary.
Half Pint Glass
Sometimes we have to trick ourselves into moderation. It doesn’t always come naturally. Luckily, our brains evolved with all kinds of borderline stupid quirks, so we’re not that hard to trick. Any damn fool can see that this is only half a glass, but we bet it will still help slow down said damn fool’s boozin’. And also it looks ridiculous.