mBerry tablets are a natural product derived from berries that temporarily alter your perception of taste by binding to your taste buds and tricking your brain. It’s a pretty crazy experience and would make a memorable gift that they’ll be telling stories about for years. The tablets make sour and bitter things taste sweet. You can chow down on a lemon and swear it tastes like an orange. Vinegar tastes like apple juice. Hot sauce and spicy foods become sugary and beer tastes like Kool-aid.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get someone to mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
The future of food is all about making weird shapes with your dinner. Or at least that’s what the modernist chefs will have you believe. And some of the things you can make with this molecular gastronomy kit are enough to make you feel like you’re eating with the Jetsons. Spheres, foams, and chocolate spaghetti are a few of the strange treasures that await inside this bizarre culinary kit.
Bunster’s Shit the Bed Hot Sauce is a mix of super-hot chilies and healthy superfoods (like goji berries and apple cider vinegar). It’s also a crowdfunding phenomenon and a painfully delicious gift for any health-conscious masochist you might know. There are lots of gourmet hot sauces out there, but this one is unique and strange in a way that true hot sauce connoisseurs find irresistible. Their mouth is bound to have a love-hate relationship with this stuff.
Chocolate and chili peppers go together much better than one might suspect. But chocolate and intense pain? That’s definitely a niche combination, one that takes a special kind of nonstandard personality to relish. Chances are, you know at least one such pathological eater. Not everyone is looking to be “challenged” by their chocolate, but to some of our more adventurous mouth masochists, that probably sounds like heaven. Just don’t blame us if this turns out to be a gateway to snorting wasabi.
If m&ms were a person, you would have choked the crap out of them by now because all they do is say the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, we now live in the infinitely customizable iCulture, where you don’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense anymore. Say everything you ever wanted to say, in the sweetest way possible.
Many of us rely on fortune cookies for guidance in everyday matters and major life decisions alike. Yet we never stop to think that we’re casting our fate into the hands of some anonymous pastry worker — or worse yet, some mindless, heartless industrial food processing machine — in a faraway land we likely can’t even pronounce. It’s time we begin taking our destiny into our own hands. Here’s to pulling ourselves up by the cosmic bootstraps.
You probably know someone who would like their own personal supply of organic produce but doesn’t have the time to manage a multi-acre farm. Or go to the grocery store for that matter. This is also a great gift for the healthy eater who’s too busy to garden or who tends to kill everything they lay their hands on.
Making olive oil is a time-tested mediterranean art. And they don’t put the good stuff on the shelves at Costco, no matter how ornate the adhesive label is. They make you go and find it. A true Italian or Greek food connoisseur will appreciate the difference, even if you’re clueless. Bring the finest flavors of the old world right to their table.
If flowers could get you drunk, men would be all about bouquets. Until then, replace the posies and roses with distilled spirits and ale, and your manly recipient will be as woozy and giddy as a schoolgirl who just got her first love note. After a long day of doing man things, all he really wants is to relax and recover in the glow of a nice warm buzz. And every time he does, he’ll remember you, and think to himself what great taste you have.
These pepper boxes are for responsible cooks who are ready for the big leagues. Beware of gifting this to the oblivious or to anyone with a penchant for practical jokes — this is one serious box of flame. But for the true spice connoisseur, the assortment of capsaicin fury contained in each shipment unlocks a whole world of culinary experimentation. For most of us, hot is just hot. But for someone who understands the subtle differences between the many chili pepper varietals (or is interested in learning), some next level tongue magic awaits.
Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. If you know someone who has refined taste buds, this might even include cheese. But before you go buying a water buffalo, you should know that you can buy the enzymes and all that by themselves and then add milk later. The rest of the animal is incidental, inconvenient, and frankly dangerous.
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
A particularly good gift if you live far away and aren’t going to be seeing them in person to hand over that homemade cake you would otherwise have lovingly prepared (read, bought from the store at the last minute). If you’re feeling generous, how about giving them a monthly cupcake subscription?
Mainstream wine snobbery has never taken hold in the New World like it did in Europe, so we use coffee and beer as vehicles to look down on each other in its place. Your grandpa may have been more than happy with a cup of Maxwell House every day for 70 years, but that was a different time. The masses have developed a palate, and there’s no looking back. But with all the thousands of artisan roasters out there, anyone trying to keep up on their own is likely to go insane. Luckily, some already insane person has taken on the job of curating, so the rest of us can pretend we’re experts.
Tea has been renowned for its health and healing abilities since ancient times. Of course, so has bloodletting. But don’t worry - unlike cutting someone open, feeding them tea actually works. Most teas are packed with antioxidants and other important nutrients and fancy-sounding compounds that we’ve learned about from Dr. Oz, and many have genuine medicinal applications. And many teas also have flavor and aroma profiles that promote relaxation and relieve stress. It almost sounds too good to be true. But it’s not. Nature is a genius, and here’s her medicine.
We all have the urge to make chicken soup for a sick loved one, but that’s hard to do if you live hundreds or thousands of miles away. Enter the Spoonful of Comfort. They will deliver a basket containing gourmet soup, bread, cookies, a personalized note, and even a ladle. It’s the next best thing to doing yourself.
Air travel can be pretty uncomfortable, especially if you're crammed in an economy seat like most working folks. When the stress is mounting, the kid starts crying, and the pilot announces that they'll be arriving behind schedule, at least there is booze. These cocktail kits will help them find their happy place when they feel like popping that emergency exit and bailing out.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving someone this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.
Give these fortune cookies to a friend and tell them you had extra from last night's dinner. Be sure to have the camera rolling when they crack one open and see your bizarre custom message inside. Pick something that no cookie should know about them. Imagine their confusion when they read "You should break up with Mary. She should have been more careful with your Ramones t-shirt" or "Don't forget to get your car inspected. It's been overdue since July."
The beer world has truly exploded with breweries over the last decade-plus, which is great for anyone who likes trying new things. However, this proliferation of choice has a dark side. Dyed-in-the-wool beer lovers now face overwhelming anxiety every time they go to pick up a six pack or fill up a growler. The Craft Beer Club removes this pain point by making the necessary choices for all involved, so beer time can go back to being the sweet revelation it used to be.
Do you know someone who’s always in search of the perfect hot sauce? Well, maybe the answer is to let them make their own. This kit allows you to experiment with different pepper, spice, and vinegar combinations until you find the holy grail of hotness. No more excuses, just hot pepper perfection.
If you're stuck on a gift idea, don’t overlook the obvious - everyone needs to eat. You could cook for them, or treat them to a fancy restaurant, but why not bring the experience of fine dining into the home? Hiring a professional private chef will make for a unique and memorable evening. Not only do they get to eat amazing food prepared right in their kitchen with their own equipment, they will learn the nuances of culinary excellence from a seasoned expert.
Back in 1905, a Swiss laborer had a sandwich and some absinthe for lunch, then went home and killed his family. And that was it for absinthe. A classic case of overreaction. Now it’s more than a hundred years later, and absinthe is again the trendiest liquor in the world. You might as well jump into the deep end. Here’s the diving board.
They may be the world record holder for moo goo gai pan take-out orders, but that doesn’t mean they can’t apply that same ambition to a more progressive enterprise on the culinary scene. These boxed meals feature fresh, nutritious ingredients that will inspire healthier eating and put a lid on that MSG consumption. Award their starved taste buds and support responsible land stewardship while you’re at it!
The morning drinker: one of the most misunderstood fellow citizens. Once imbued with the spark of firewater, they can do anything, especially if it’s delivered with the bold energy rush of caffeine. You think we should eradicate morning drinking? Well, you can kiss all your favorite novels goodbye then, because all great authors are drunk by 10 am. But I guess if you want to try tricking someone out of their morning cup of whiskey, this would be the best way.
The good life is all about quality over quantity. Or maybe it’s about quality and quantity. We’re not here to argue. If they still want to swill down cheap rotgut wine by the box, nobody’s going to stop them. It’s their life, not yours. But here’s a great way to broaden their horizons once a month by introducing them to the stuff that’s popular with the people who don’t mix their chardonnay with diet sprite.
Who doesn’t need a little more magic in their life? Add in a dose of sugary sweet silliness and let the troubles of our earthly world just melt away. Whether you’re a believer or not, unicorns have a special way of inspiring happy thoughts dripping with toot-filled colorful rainbows and puffy cotton candy clouds. Crack open a whimsical bag of fairyland flatulence and lighten up even the dreariest of days.
With any normal chocolate bar, even the generously-sized original Toblerone, one’s enjoyment is always tarnished by the sad thought that the experience will soon be over. Candy bars simply don’t last long enough. In contrast, candy lovers look upon this giant Toblerone bar the same way that a mountaineer gazes up at a lofty peak. In their mind, they understand that one day the expedition will be over, and the mammoth before them will have been conquered. Yet in the moment they can’t quite believe it.
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great gift for anyone who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
People weren’t joking when they said this coffee is the sh#t. The undeniably rich, full-bodied flavor produced by these rare beans has redefined the food chain and flipped the coffee industry on its head. Perhaps one of the most imaginative adaptations of the farm-to-table movement, this coffee product is redefining waste management.
Drinking coffee is for amateurs: give the gift of intense doses of caffeine. Help them run marathons, finish difficult projects, and—if they eat too many—question if their eye is supposed to be twitching. As a gift to you, if you ever need to paint your house, get them on board – they can see way more colors than you can now.
All that advice about water and sleep is minor league stuff. You probably heard that from your mom, right after she told you that if you keep making that face it’s going to stick that way. A hangover requires science. And science is best consumed in small capsules, unless you’re really smart and prefer reading. Luckily for the person you’re buying these for, someone did all the learning already. Buy these hangover pills, and then help your friend abuse their organs with a clear conscience.
Kombucha is the ancient art of making tea into something half the people who try it will love and the other half will vomit back onto your carpet. The people who love it are objectively correct, because it makes you live forever (almost). Anyone who has fallen head over heels for it will do the same for you if you buy them this homebrew kit.
If they’re anything like us, they’re not wild about some anonymous person manhandling their pork. The problem is, of course, that someone has to turn it into bacon. A make your own bacon kit is the perfect gift for someone who really wants to take control of their lives, starting with the most important parts.
Beef jerky is a fond favorite of many but, let’s be honest, it’s pretty standard. When you’re looking for a less regular gift for a less regular person, you’re going to have to do better than that. Earthworm jerky might just be the answer. This jerky is packed full of protein and we hear that it’s really tasty too. We did mean to try it ourselves, honestly … but … earthworms.
We have long maintained that the only reason people think eating bugs is gross is because society is uptight about it. They taste fine! They are eco-friendly! The have lots of protein! Birds eat them, right? You think you’re better than a bird? You can’t even fly! Try them, we triple dog dare ya!
There’s not many gifts that scream, ‘I love you’ more than chocolate covered strawberries. They’re an old classic, one of the ultimate recipes for romance and they make a particularly perfect present for anyone with a sweet tooth (who deserves to be spoiled but who also wants to stay healthy on the inside, just like these delicious little delicacies themselves).
Roses are red, usually. But not chocolate roses. Pleasing to the eye and your beloved’s sweet tooth, this delectable gift may be challenging to perfect, but they’ll earn you some brownie points that will take your relationship standings off the charts. If you can pull off these confectionery delicacies, you’ll be walking the Julia Childs hall of fame for decades to come.
There are lots of gift basket subscriptions out there, but when it comes to sweet, wholesome fruit, who better to turn to than “The Fruit Company”? With plenty of different combinations to choose from, and quality unlike anything you’re going to find at the grocery store, it’s just like planting a magic tree in the backyard and letting it do its thing. Except even a magic tree doesn’t deliver its fruit wrapped up all nice in a basket, and magic trees never think to include some cheese or jam as a bonus. When you think about it, magic trees are actually kind of lame. A fruit subscription is way better.
There are lots of monthly and weekly meal subscriptions to choose from, but not so much for the people who like the meals in between meals the best. Look, grass-fed steak with organic heirloom carrots and Arabian saffron roasted potatoes is great, but some people would genuinely prefer a handful of edamame or a blueberry lemon oat bar instead. We’re not here to judge, and you shouldn’t be either. The Graze monthly snack subscription provides healthy alternatives that allow the recipient to indulge in their love of snacking without paying the junk food tax.
The dark brown treats in these little cotton bags aren’t actually Reindeer droppings (or any other animal, for that matter), though legend holds that such is their true origin. No, these are just fine, lovingly-crafted milk-chocolate almonds with a gross name. For some reason, people get a kick out of eating things they’re not supposed to, and this bizarre gift gives them the chance to indulge in an ultimate culinary taboo without paying the price of gastrointestinal illness. Also, they’re delicious.
The ultimate college food staple, also ideal for survivalists who want to go out in style. With individually wrapped noodle and cheese powder packets, this is about as imperishable a food item as you’re going to find this side of the Twinkie aisle. And the per-meal price of this gourmet dinner kit is absurdly low, especially for something that literally nobody has ever gotten sick of eating. Mac & cheese is the ultimate blank flavor slate, allowing the lucky food hoarder to create variety by adding in a few hot dogs, frozen vegetables — heck, why not dump in that stray bag of skittles. YOLO.
When was the last time you were truly challenged by your nuts? That’s the idea behind the Death Nuts line of super spicy peanuts for crazy people. This isn’t a “sit in front of the TV and relax” brand of nuts. This is the “Oh God, what was I thinking, why do I make so many bad choices” peanut. The culinary equivalent of self-flagellation. Except taking the Death Nut Challenge doesn’t earn you any points with God. Just a good hour of blinding pain that you didn’t even know was possible.
It’s an underappreciated fact of the animal kingdom that all of its members can be made into jerky. Except maybe insects and jellyfish. And Sasquatch — but that’s only because you’ll never catch him. Everything else is fair game for the jerky racket. And once you’ve tried Buffalo Bob’s full array of exotic jerky offerings, you’ll understand that jerkyhood is perhaps the highest state that animals can achieve — like a sort of physical enlightenment. But delicious.