Remember what life was like before the internet? When a peeping tom had to grab his binoculars and hide in the bushes or climb up a tree to get a good look into your private life? Now any aspiring voyeur doesn’t even need to be fit enough to leave the couch — much less climb the 30-foot elm in your front yard. All they need to do is find a digital backdoor to your webcam. Which means the creep game is now open to a whole new league of players. This is how you keep them off your field.
Modular furniture is worth its weight in gold for anyone who lives in a small space. Also, playing around with configurable stuff like this is fun because it’s sort of like experiencing your childhood dream of living in a Lego world. Except this is better because you won’t accidentally swallow it and end up in the emergency room. The easy lock-and-unlock design, corner-friendly configurability, and variety of storage options make it perfect for any desk slave who needs to declutter their work area while keeping the various tools of the trade close at hand.
Everyone knows the government is watching and listening in on everything they do. But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless, especially against lesser antagonists like petty criminals, credit card thieves, and internet perverts. A VPN (Virtual Private Network) is one of those inventions that makes computer nerds so infinitely lovable. Connecting to a VPN makes it impossible for anyone to see your IP address, which means it’s impossible to track where you’ve been on the internet or steal your data. A perfect tech gift for travelers, those who work on their computers in public places, and the eternally paranoid.
Squirrels are tireless and determined. They let no obstacle stand in their way. Cunning and resilient, they persist until victorious. No mission is too dangerous, and no nut is left behind. If squirrels could read, they would likely be big fans of Ayn Rand and her message of hard work, ingenuity and the pursuit of your own happiness. This funny motivational wall poster will lighten your day while reminding you to be brave and unstoppable like the mighty squirrel.
There’s real peace of mind that comes from not caring what kinds of catastrophes are befalling the outside world. An uninterruptible power supply — one that keeps your electronics running seamlessly even as the electrical grid collapses — provides just that. Survivalists and preppers love these, along with work-at-homers who are constantly battling short deadlines. So do all the people who want to know Facebook will still be there come hell or high water.
Transport them to a tropical land where soft sand cushions their overworked feet and salty air tickles their senses. Feel the warm breeze caress the cheek and listen to the gentle waves lapping along the shoreline. Achieve calmness, serenity and purpose inside the confines of the office cubicle. Frolic in the sand and let the stress of work float away.
The condition of your physical space often says a lot about the state of your life in general. So if your computer desk or entertainment center is a snake den of twisted cords, you may be giving the outside world a window into the chaotic swirl going on inside your head. And that’s the kind of information that one is better keeping to oneself, lest people begin to make negative assumptions. A package of handy, affordable cord organizers like these are a great way to subtly suggest to a loved one that they get their s#*t together — or at least make it look like they already have.
Corporate life is not about achievement or progress, it’s about survival. Everyone in the office tribe knows this but few will admit it. With a few strokes of the pen, an artist has rendered that common feeling of treading water with feigned composure that all cubicle slaves feel as soon as they enter the dungeon. Remind them that you’re all in on the game with this humorous and poignant paper pad.
Pens have a way of disappearing, and since they don't have legs, we have to assume people are stealing them. These serial pen thieves are lurking in every office and workplace, and everyone is a suspect. We've all been a victim, and we all just accept the fact that when someone asks if they can borrow a pen, that pen may be gone forever. There is a simple solution - use pens that make people deeply uncomfortable, preferably with messages so unsettling that they may not ask you again. And since such a pen would truly be yours to keep, it ought to be a good one. These professional metal barrel pens not only make a memorable first impression, but are built to last and filled high with ink - unlike some discount novelty pens out there. A great gift for your coworkers and friends, and even better to keep for yourself.
For the ultimate clock watcher, this stylish desk accessory is a fantastic way to count down the minutes left at work, hours left in the day, days left in the year, and years left before the sweet release of retirement, and that new life in the Bahamas. Or days spent pottering around the local garden center and shouting indignantly at daytime television.
Inside every high achiever is a bored, distracted child just waiting to pop out like a jack-in-the-box as soon as it sees an opportunity. One of the hidden benefits of the corner office is the privacy that allows the occupier of that office to play with whatever they want while the door is closed. A golden slinky carries the right amount of gravitas for a man or woman of power, and it’s far from the most embarrassing thing they could be caught playing with if someone opens the door unexpectedly.
It’s hard to stay active and moving around when you’re chained to a desk with work all day, so consider giving them this Under-Desk Elliptical machine on which they can pedal away all day, working up a sweat and staring at spreadsheets. As a bonus, they’ll look like a duck treading water, with their feet pedaling frantically under the surface.
Like a big brother (or sister) helping them through life one handy trick at a time, the Life Hacks desk calendar is here to let them in on all the little secrets that they wish someone would have told them years ago. Well, maybe not all of them, like where to find that pirate treasure they’ve been looking for since they were 8 years old. But really, it’s time they gave up on that and moved on anyway. This is where the real intel is.
Sometimes, you need to get down to business and do your work, but other times, you need to procrastinate—help your friend do the latter. There’s a time and a place for efficiency and that’s not when you have a pen that can bend in your hands.
The necktie is the unsung, often mistreated hero of the sartorial world. While shirts, pants, and jackets all get their own specialized travel bags to keep them clean, dry, and unwrinkled, neckties just get folded up and stuffed in the suitcase. But there is a price to be paid for this kind of disregard — and that price is a cranky, crinkly, abused-looking necktie that makes even the most dapper man look like he has been reduced to a stowaway sleeping in his work clothes in the undercarriage of a Greyhound bus. The necktie travel case is here to rescue that man’s dignity.
Nothing has the power to ruin your working day like a disappointing lunch, whether it’s a soggy sandwich you’ve thrown together the night before, or an over-priced salad from the local deli. Spare them this pain by gifting them this awesome portable oven, and they’ll soon be enjoying delicious (and envy-inducing) hot meals every day!
One of the hidden curses of modern life is the enormous mental anguish and psychological torment that is caused every day by tangled earbud wires. It’s a secret killer of mental health, a final straw landing on the back of the camel of sanity. Some thought the answer would be wireless earbuds, but we’ve found that a lack of wires just makes them easier to lose. As usual, the real answer is simple: having a case to put them in, instead of crumpling them up and cramming them into the nearest available pocket. Here is that case.
Everyone knows artists can’t afford furniture. Yet for many of them, a drafting/craft table is a basic necessity. This makes you, the gift giver, more or less the master of their universe. This could be the difference between a rich and rewarding career on the one hand, and ending up homeless and babbling under a nearby overpass on the other.
Sometimes it really isn’t our fault. And when those times come, you don’t want to be caught off guard, with no alibi and no excuse. Unfortunately, not everyone is good at thinking on their feet, so they end up taking the brunt of the blame when a more clever person would be able to weasel out of the same tight space with a minimum of effort. If you have a coworker who tends to go off the rails when no one’s looking, you might as well equip them with the excuse you know they’re going to need over and over again.
Sometimes life at work is so f-ed up that you don’t even have enough time to list all your f-ing grievances. If you know someone who is so deep in the $h!7 that all they do is drop f-ing f-bombs all day, take some of the stress off their poor overworked f-ing tongue with this clever and handsome expletive sculpture. It works beautifully as a paperweight, but it’s also heavy enough to get attention every time they drop it.
People spend so much time indoors that it’s easy to forget there’s a whole wide world out there just chock full of nature. In order to preserve our sanity and amplify our feelings of connection with the Earth deities, it’s sometimes helpful to bring pieces of that nature indoors with us. And since the mossy jacket never really caught on, a desktop planter is just about the closest anyone can get to being in nature while they work, at least until they finish that wi-fi tree house they’ve been thinking about.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? This knight pen holder will be their most loyal servant in all of their clerical crusades. Whether they’re battling with the bookkeeping or feuding with their filing, help will be at hand. And yes, their grocery lists deserve the royal treatment too.
Everyday life has plenty of unavoidable indignities; there’s no reason to add cold coffee to the list. We’ve come so far technologically, yet we’re still relying on basic pottery to keep our coffee warm, like it’s the Stone Age or something. People are just too busy to pay attention to how long their coffee mug has been sitting out on the desktop. Place it on one of these instead, and they never have to worry about it again.
For the coffee and donut addicts of the world, it’s hard to believe that anything could improve this heavenly pairing. But that will make it all the more mind-blowing when they realize you have indeed given them something that will take the experience to another level. This truly ingenious piece of kitchen/office-ware provides the perfect platform on which the two elements meet to create the true breakfast of champions. Because if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.
We are constantly awash in a sea of waves, fields, and rays, not to mention whatever the aliens are shooting into us, and if the scientists didn’t tell us about it we would have no idea any of that stuff is even there. The ferrofluid desk toy is a super cool way to see what magnetic fields would look like if they were actually visible. The included 2-poled magnetic wand allows the user to literally manipulate physics with their hands. Well, that’s probably not true, but it kind of looks like it.
You might call your toes “little piggies,” but the truth is that feet are the real workhorses of the human body. And we tend to be pretty merciless toward them for long stretches of the day, so it’s a nice gesture to show them some love when it’s all over with. And healthy feet make a happy human, so you could try giving a foot hammock to the most unlikeable person you know and see if it brightens them up a bit. Or better yet, give it to someone you like. Trust us, they’ll appreciate it.
It can feel kind of strange to hand someone a notebook as a present, and be like, “Here, write in this.” But not when said notebook is an intricate and stunning piece of art like this wood-covered journal. Each one has either a natural image (plants, wildlife) or an uplifting message cut into the front cover. The unique and beautiful designs transform these from simple notebooks into works of art that the recipient adds to over time.
Nothing makes your luggage stand out against all the other schmucks’ tattered old raggedy bags like a shiny brass luggage tag. The perfect gift for the sophisticated globetrotter who likes to travel in style. Use up to five lines of text to list their name, address, phone number, favorite superhero, spirit animal, most embarrassing moment — whatever they (or you) want to permanently engrave. The most distinguished way to keep the grubby little hands of the unwashed masses off their personal belongings at the airport.
It's important to find joy in the little things at work, otherwise you and your coworkers will get bogged down in the tedious day to day grind of office tasks and trappings. This set of 120 colorful animal shaped paperclips is sure to put a smile on their face, even if just for a fleeting moment before the drudgery of the office swallows them again.
Some coworkers just haven't gotten the memo when it comes to office civility or basic human decency. If you've tried subtle hints but they're still not getting the message, it may be time to issue a formal citation. This funny office pad has checkboxes for 24 common workplace violations including Aggressive Typing, Reply-all Abuse, and Chronic Enthusiasm. A great gift for people who have annoying coworkers, or just like to pass judgement on others.
The burden of constant decision making has been found to be the leading cause of workplace violence. Help forestall a catastrophe by moving the burden onto this ever patient, always reliable aluminum spinner. You may just be saving a life.
Someone went and leveled up the fish bowl. This is the perfect gift for that big-picture thinker who digs sustainability and balance. Also for anyone who wants a pet they don’t have to take care of. The organisms in this eco-sphere take care of each other, maintaining perfect aquatic harmony. Go ahead, write a poem about it.
There’s no substitute for hard work and a craftsman-like approach to getting things done. So when you sit down at your desk, it’s great to a have a little reminder that it’s time to roll up your sleeves and have at it. This message comes through loud and clear with a desktop toolbox. It’s also a great way for the hopelessly messy to clean up that atomic catastrophe of a workspace. No organization involved. Just gather all the junk into your arms and toss it into the generous confines of this stylish vessel where no one can see it. Sometimes appearance is everything.
The world is full of more grimy, disgusting, and dangerous debris than most people are aware of, and some of it is all over your fingers. Thankfully, someone has created a spectacular solution (that looks and feels an awful lot like silly putty) to help remove those disgusting substances from everyday surfaces before they have a chance to get all over someone you love and and ruin their life. A great, long lasting, and highly reusable gift for anyone who touches things all day and doesn’t want to be gross.
Ergonomics are everything, especially for the desk jockeys who spend 50% or more of their waking hours parked in front of a keyboard. Though the office workers of the world may not be able to halt the slow disintegration of their bodies, they can at least protect their delicate wrists and fingers from overuse injuries. For these are the instruments with which they run the economy. Buy one of these laptop risers for an office worker you know who gets the cold sweats when they hear the phrase “carpal tunnel.”