Birthdays come around every year, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make this one special. You might be tempted to pace yourself, knowing that you’ll have to do this all over again next year, but we’re here to tell you that’s totally unnecessary. Go ahead and let ‘er rip, because we’re constantly scouring the web for the best gifts. So when you come back here in future years to buy birthday gifts for her, we’ll already be ten steps ahead. Hey, we’re in this together. Now let’s find her something she’s gonna love.
Flowers don’t just look nice and fill the air with pleasant aromas, they also carry various levels of symbolism. Much like the zodiac, each month has its own flower variety, reflecting the character of everyone born therein. Or at least, that’s what someone decided a long time ago. And it sure is a nice idea. Regardless of whether the person you’re buying for really is a carnation at heart, or whether they’re more of a Venus fly trap, these earrings are going to look great on them.
Every birth is an incomprehensible miracle, and it’s a shame that we only allocate a single day to celebrate each one. Seems kind of lazy when you think about it. With Kindnotes, you can keep those good vibes coming for an entire month. Thirty-one little envelopes, each with a tiny note containing thoughts of inspiration, appreciation, and love. They’ll never get tired of opening these up every day and being reminded of how great they are. Choose from ready-made sets with messages already included, blank cards that you can fill in yourself, or Kindnotes will custom print your personalized set and jar.
Sometimes we hear that life is short. Here is a calendar that proves that this isn’t necessarily the case. Instead of fretting over the small mistakes in life, like telling your boss to go stick it, gain solace by looking at this calendar and seeing all of the weeks you have open to go look for a new job after being fired. Like so many things, it’s all a matter of perspective. Only a really big mistake is going to eat up a significant chunk of your life calendar. Everything else you can totally overcome.
The last thing they need is more stuff, and at the end of it all it’s really the experiences that they will cherish the most. Help them create some new memories to look back on by finding a fun activity to do locally. Be adventurous and choose something they’ve near done before. It’s a gift that will enrich their life and yours too.
Flowers are a classic gift, but they’ve got one fatal flaw: no matter how beautiful, they tend to wilt too soon. But you’re smarter than that - you like to play the long game. The Flower of the Month Club lets you automatically replenish those flowers at regular intervals so that there’s always a fresh collection in the recipient’s house. Even if you’re not a hippy, you can always employ a little “flower power” to make someone feel loved and appreciated.
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
The world is full of natural and man-made wonders, and in the modern age we have the means to visit all of them, and furthermore to get there within a day or two. And every one of these wonders is better seen while you’re still alive, which the title of this book is not shy about pointing out. Everyone needs something to shoot for in their golden years, and 1000 is quite the ambitious number. It's a gift that will inspire them to knock the dust off the old traveling boots and regain a sense of adventure.
Help them get away and recharge in a faraway place where nobody knows them and they can act however they want with virtually no longstanding social repercussions. Because when things get tough, evacuation is usually the only solution.
Birthdays are the classic occasion to celebrate the passage of time. And what is the passage of time? It’s really just a collection of memories. But with all of the distractions and competing messages constantly bombarding us, it’s easy to lose track of so many of these important memories. That’s what jars were made for. Well, maybe not originally. But in today’s world, where your attention is your most precious commodity, the most important thing you can do with a jar is put your thoughts in it. This one is specially designed to hold happy thoughts about the past.
Mainstream wine snobbery has never taken hold in the New World like it did in Europe, so we use coffee and beer as vehicles to look down on each other in its place. Your grandpa may have been more than happy with a cup of Maxwell House every day for 70 years, but that was a different time. The masses have developed a palate, and there’s no looking back. But with all the thousands of artisan roasters out there, anyone trying to keep up on their own is likely to go insane. Luckily, some already insane person has taken on the job of curating, so the rest of us can pretend we’re experts.
Until we learn to harness our psychic powers, we’ll have to slog through life using technology to communicate our thoughts to each other over long distances. But this is most certainly one of the sweetest ways to slog. Touching one lamp makes the other turn on instantly, so you can let whoever has the matching twin lamp know you’re thinking of them, no matter where they are or how far away. In the age of social media, where mass personal advertisements pass themselves off as “connection”, show someone important that they’re worth a direct line of their own.
In a couple of generations, nobody’s even going to know what the hell a book is. Have you seen a teenager try to figure out how to use one of their parents’ audio cassettes? But for those of us in the know, books are the real source of pure knowledge and wisdom, untainted by the runoff of digital culture. Like a cold, clear mountain stream, but with words.
The word “monstrosity” is not often used in a good way, but Fatty Cakes is helping to change that. Building cakes made of cookies piled upon cookies, drowned in frosting, and sometimes decorated with donuts or even just more cookies, this company is out to stretch your idea of what is possible, or maybe even advisable. Because once you see one of these cakes, you’re never going to be able to look at a simple German chocolate from the local baker the same way again. Just be advised - this cake is going to be the real star of the party.
This birthday, why not give them a bouquet of something they actually want – like the chance to win the lottery and retire early to travel the world in a super yacht! Plus, if they win, they’re sure to share their millions with you, right? Right?? Jon, can you hear me, you seem to be sailing in the other direction…?
Nothing beats the comfort of lounging around the house, enveloped in something much larger than yourself, unless that something is a giant snake, the crushing anxiety of an ever-uncertain future, or a sense of guilt for that awful thing you said at last year’s family picnic. A giant knit blanket helps to smother any of these undesirable feelings, leaving one with a sense of warmth and security.
What better way to celebrate another year of life, then with a not-so-subtle reminder of how vulnerable and fragile it all is? Shatter their precious illusions of health and vitality, in the most entertaining and hilarious way possible. A perfect gag gift for your favorite hypochondriac.
The good life is all about quality over quantity. Or maybe it’s about quality and quantity. We’re not here to argue. If they still want to swill down cheap rotgut wine by the box, nobody’s going to stop them. It’s their life, not yours. But here’s a great way to broaden their horizons once a month by introducing them to the stuff that’s popular with the people who don’t mix their chardonnay with diet sprite.
If you’re looking for a truly one of a kind gift, you might consider commissioning a local artist to create a unique piece of jewelry. It will not only be cherished by the lucky recipient, but it’s also a gift to the starving artist, so it will mean a lot to everyone. Remember to plan in advance for this one, custom made artwork is not created overnight.
A book is more than just a collection of words and ideas. It’s a frozen piece of time — the intersection of one person’s (or sometimes multiple peoples’) thoughts and experiences with the moment in which they were recorded. So sometimes a 50th reprint of To Kill a Mockingbird just doesn’t seem to carry the same weight that it should. Serious book lovers love first editions, because they’re a tangible piece of cultural history.
If the last thing they need is another “thing”, then the best possible gift is to take a trip together. Whether it’s a short day-trip to the beach, a weekend in Vegas, or a vacation overseas, travel creates memories that will last forever, long after their gizmos have become obsolete, their doodads have broken down, and their whatchamacallums have faded into obscurity.
Put away childish things, then seal them up into an air and water tight steel container, dig a hole deep into the ground and bury them under a sidewalk. Put a plaque nearby or something like that, wait a few decades, and then have them return to open an archive of their former self. No big deal.
Get them started on that Bucket List while there’s time and health to finish it, with a tangible, physical bucket. They can pick an adventure whenever life permits. It's a gift that gives them the opportunity to make memories, rather than giving them a reason to make more closet space.
The Echo Look turns Alexa into their very own personal style assistant. The desktop camera connects with a smartphone and takes full body shots (and even short videos), allowing them to see what they look like from all angles. The Echo Look also uses machine learning to provide feedback based on body type and the recommendations of top designers. It’s like kidnapping a top fashion expert and tying them up in their bedroom, but way more ethical.
Bypass the needless chit-chat that’s clogging the communication channels with a healthy dose of introspective entertainment that’s sure to surprise. TableTopics will provide you with thought-provoking topics designed to prompt long conversations about everything and anything imaginable. With more than 2 million copies of TableTopics sold, this thing certainly has people talking.
Around birthdays, a person may start to think about their place in history. They begin to really contemplate what it means to someday join the long chain of human life that led to them and to their descendants. Help them get started on a journey of self discovery by starting a family tree based on their DNA.
If you’re following the same sequences every day, sometimes yoga practice can be a little repetitive. But making up your own sequence as you go can involve too much thinking, which messes up your flow. Every once in a while it’s nice to have some randomized guidance. Just roll these wooden yoga dice and let the universe decide which way you should bend yourself. The perfect gift for the yoga enthusiast (or beginner) who’s looking for a way to shake up their practice.
If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach someone a valuable lesson on their birthday, by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.
The most important things in a person’s life aren’t things at all. They’re memories, experiences and relationships. This clever game is designed to help them recall stories and memories they haven’t thought of in years, and is a great way to reflect on the crazy path that has gotten them where they are today.
Many scientists consider smell to be the strongest of the human senses, tied up so intimately as it is with emotions and memories. It’s also sometimes the most neglected aspect of the home. You know who we’re talking about. Help that person craft a more sensuous and pleasing atmosphere for everyone who steps inside.
The original smart speaker and still the reigning king (or queen) of the market, the Amazon Echo invented a new category and has been dominating it ever since. The Echo’s virtual assistant, Alexa, is kind of like Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey, except she’ll never kill your friends and lock you out of the house to die.
A trip to the spa promotes relaxation, relieves stress, and contributes to their general wellbeing. It also gets them off your back for a few hours. This is what people call a win-win situation. Ship them off to a place of rest and rejuvenation. You’ll both be glad you did.
So this maybe doesn’t have the wow factor of, say, a MENSA membership, but that’s not the point. You can buy a lifetime supply of Frosted Flakes for $.99. We’re not sure what MENSA does for you, but we know it can’t deliver like that. Who’s the genius now?
Help them learn more about the people around them than they could ever possibly want to know with the classic party game Never Have I Ever. The game is simple: each player takes turns drawing a card and reading the “Never have I ever…” statement out loud, answers truthfully, then hopes everyone is too drunk to remember what they said.
Anyone who tells you that you can’t look classy drinking straight out of the bottle simply lacks imagination. And they clearly haven’t seen one of these. The best thing about using the Guzzle Buddy is the total lack of pretension. This is the perfect gift for that person who always talks about having ONE glass but never seems to achieve that level of self-control. This is a great way to say, “You don’t have to pretend. We want you to be who you are. We just want you to look better doing it.”
Years ago on this day, they were born unto this earth of plenty. Now let them graze upon the fruits of this life-giving rock. A birthday is one of the best times to bestow these kinds of gifts upon the ones you love. You know there’s nothing quite like getting a big fat basket of premium produce on your doorstep. Even better than that? Getting it monthly or quarterly through a top-notch fruit subscription like this one.
Back in the old days you were really rolling the dice when you chose a hotel. Either you called blindly after skimming the phone book or simply drove all night and hoped you saw a vacancy sign before you ran out of gas and got murdered by a vagrant. A hotel gift card is not just a way of picking up the tab for a night’s stay; it’s also the priceless gift of peace of mind.
Like happiness, most peoples’ wealth is intangible. It’s just a number that represents a theoretical claim on a few bars of metal locked in a vault somewhere that don’t exist anyway. So what’s better than happiness and fake money? Gold! And nothing but gold! But you’re way too sophisticated to give them a shapeless ball of ore. Gold coins allow you to hand over timeless wealth in a package that’s fit to be displayed. Just like a king of yore.
Sure, it will be strange when you have to get that cheek swab from them without them knowing what you’re up to, but it will all make sense when you reveal this custom portrait that showcases their unique DNA. Or you could just give them the DNA collection kit as the gift if that’s easier. Or just swab your dog. They’ll never know the difference.
So you’ve decided to get her a bomb kit? Scour the internet and you’ll find instructions for making the worst kind of gift imaginable. But instead of making one that blows up, why don’t you teach her how to make a bath bomb? No costly medical bills or long, drawn out criminal trials. Just an explosion of peace and relaxation.
It’s not always good news when someone says they made you a book. It can be wonderful, of course, but things can get pretty cringe-worthy pretty quickly as the recipient pages through it with growing embarrassment for the both themselves and the giver. So take your time and do a good job with this, OK? Don’t make it weird.
Give frequent travelers the opportunity to regale their house guests with stories of the time they were in wherever. This foam-backed map lets travelers chart their journeys with tiny flags and other markers and can be printed with any message the recipient chooses. A classy gift that looks great in any room.
They may be the world record holder for moo goo gai pan take-out orders, but that doesn’t mean they can’t apply that same ambition to a more progressive enterprise on the culinary scene. These boxed meals feature fresh, nutritious ingredients that will inspire healthier eating and put a lid on that MSG consumption. Award their starved taste buds and support responsible land stewardship while you’re at it!
There are lots of monthly and weekly meal subscriptions to choose from, but not so much for the people who like the meals in between meals the best. Look, grass-fed steak with organic heirloom carrots and Arabian saffron roasted potatoes is great, but some people would genuinely prefer a handful of edamame or a blueberry lemon oat bar instead. We’re not here to judge, and you shouldn’t be either. The Graze monthly snack subscription provides healthy alternatives that allow the recipient to indulge in their love of snacking without paying the junk food tax.
Go big or go home. Wait, they can do both with these giant yard games! They’ll supersize the fun at backyard parties with these larger than life versions of the games we all played growing up. All sorts of giant games are available including checkers, chess, Connect Four, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Jenga and more.
Brighten up their morning with a breakfast game-changer. The Selfie Toaster is a truly weird way for any weirdo to start their weird day. Whether you choose to brand their breakfast with your face or theirs, it is probably the most unusual way we can think of to eat the most important meal of the day, and a gift that will leave a lasting impression.
We were all grateful enough when robots started vacuuming our houses years ago. But these little androids were so generous that they went on evolving, because they just can’t help wanting to be more helpful. These days, you can integrate them with your smart home hub and monitor them from afar to make sure they’re not tormenting your pets.
Many studies point to a higher life expectancy for those that follow a Mediterranean diet. What looks like a humble bottle of olive oil could well be the elixir of youth. We can’t think of a better present to give to someone that's turning another year older.
These king-sized treats just might be the perfect gift to match their insatiable sweet tooth. This level of candy debauchery might be frowned upon by overeaters anonymous, but life is too short for sugar shaming. No need to wrap these monstrous munchies, the wrapper alone is half the fun and can be used later on as one-of-a-kind wall art to commemorate their gastronomical feat.
It’s amazing to think that the idea giving someone a kit to take a sample of their own DNA, that will then be sent off and analyzed, resulting in a detailed personalized genetic analysis, would have seemed like total science fiction just a few decades ago. But here we are.
If they’re feeling their age as people tend to as they wave goodbye to their youth, they’ll probably want to put their feet up and relax a little more. Make sure you keep them entertained with a world of books at their fingertips. You can even change the size of the font on the screen just in case their eyesight isn’t quite what it was, but leave them to discover that themselves…
Normally, the moment someone goes feet up is the appropriate time to stop feeding them wine, but socks with writing on them have a certain authority that is hard to ignore. That’s what makes these so useful: people will definitely listen. And if your feet are already up, you generally can’t fall any farther than you already have. It’s a sort of automatic safety feature.
The hoarder’s dream diary, this hardcover or ring-bound (it’s your choice) historical record-keeper finally allows them to organize and maintain their paid entertainment history. No more tossing them in a box or in the nearest convenient empty drawer. Now they’re sorted and annotated, and everything is easy to find in case of emergency or if the IRS decides to audit their entertainment history. Some people will tell you that memories are the lifeblood of existence, but we all know how unreliable those are. Better to have the hard copy.
Champagne is perfect for celebrating all kinds of occasions, so this champagne cork table is not only a fantastic birthday gift, it's also a great conversation piece for future house parties and holidays. Make them the envy of all their boozy friends.
It’s nice to have the option to get an endless massage from somebody whose hands never get tired. And you don’t have to worry about being a captive audience to some godawful boring story or suffer through ten minutes of vomit-inducing garlic breath. Machines do it better.
If procrastination is winning the gift shopping battle, you can emerge victorious by running down to your local art, science, or history museum to grab a gift membership. It will seem like something that you put a lot of thought into, finding a gift that enriches their lives, exposes them to new cultures, and all that junk.
The Echo Spot might look like the Echo’s little cousin, but that doesn’t mean that it lacks in features. This is the all-in-one smart speaker with video screen for the space-conscious person on your gift list. It makes a great bedside alarm/smart home companion, and does virtually everything the full size echo can do, plus it makes video calls. So they can basically run their whole life without ever getting out of bed.
Spilled alcohol and broken glass simply don’t fit with the luxury life. Let the lowbrows balance their stemware on the wet, glossy surface of the tub like the hapless fools they are. Your friends and loved ones deserve better. Bring some peace of mind to their relaxation hour.
For the true art connoisseur, sometimes a poster reproduction of a famous work just isn’t enough. And no, you’re not going to fool them with a “really nice” giclée print off Amazon. These are real, one-of-a-kind, straight from the hand of the artist genuine pieces. Whether it’s a canvas painting, a piece of modernist furniture, or an $18,000 metal balloon dog, there’s something for everyone here (and, believe it or not, for any budget if you’re willing to dig a little).
This may sound like a recklessly bold claim, but we have the studies to prove it. We took all the blankets in the world and rubbed them up against a very soft person, then listened to how much they cried. This one elicited a mere whisper.
Some might consider it the ultimate display of human privilege to begin claiming faraway stars just because we have a few extra dollars in our pockets. But once you realize that the universe is far bigger than you think it is, you’ll cool off a little. There’s more than enough to go around for everybody. Several billion times over. So go ahead and give someone a little piece of the cosmic pie. Nothing to get all riled up about.
If m&ms were a person, you would have choked the crap out of them by now because all they do is say the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, we now live in the infinitely customizable iCulture, where you don’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense anymore. Say everything you ever wanted to say, in the sweetest way possible.
Just give it to them. Don’t make a big deal about it, or give them diet books or a lecture or anything like that. They know. They have figured out for themselves that their body is not quite the well-tuned machine that it once was. Just give the Fitbit, and leave the rest to them.
We really like to pretend that all the things we don’t like or need can just go away. You might even say our whole society is built on this illusion. But I’m not about to go all Dick Gregory on you. Just pointing out that a built-in vacuum that eliminates debris with minimal effort will probably make someone you know feel a lot better about everything.
Legal in all 50 states, this herb garden smokes the competition! The aroma of fresh herbs will bring serenity and well-being to their home and some much needed flavor to their cooking. Rosemary, thyme, dill, sage, oregano, the options are limitless! Green thumbs not required for this low-maintenance nursery. Sprigs of yummy goodness direct from Mother Nature.
A particularly good gift if you live far away and aren’t going to be seeing them in person to hand over that homemade cake you would otherwise have lovingly prepared (read, bought from the store at the last minute). If you’re feeling generous, how about giving them a monthly cupcake subscription?
Here’s some art that really grows on you. A hanging garden that can be placed on any wall in the house, it can add a bit of unexpected life to an interior space. The frame comes decked out with easy-to-care-for succulents, so you don’t have to worry about giving this to someone with a brown thumb.
Here’s a gift that will make them appreciate how easy it is to just go to the store and buy a bottle of wine. But before that appreciation has fully cultivated, they’ll spend countless hours trying to perfect their own special blend with this wine making kit. It’s a pretty simple process at its core, after all, prisoners make wine in the toilets, but a tough one to master. At the very least, we’re positive that they will not make the worst wine on Earth with this thing, but we would taste with caution.
Life is all about redefining your vices as positive qualities. In fact, that’s how you become President, if you have the drive to take it that far. But most people prefer to start small, like reframing their nightly glass of wine as something worthy of a prescription. And really, who can argue? It’s a lot cheaper, has fewer side effects, and is actually fun to ingest. And it has culture. Don’t forget about culture.
As the old saying goes, nobody wants to see how the sausage is made. It’s different with candy bars, because only good things go in them, instead of old leftover horse parts or whatever. Not that you can’t add horse parts to your candy bars - nobody’s going to stop you. The point is you don’t have to. And in case you’re wondering, most people stick to the classics like nuts, mint chips, and stuff like that. This is definitely the ultimate DIY junk food gift.
You probably know someone who would like their own personal supply of organic produce but doesn’t have the time to manage a multi-acre farm. Or go to the grocery store for that matter. This is also a great gift for the healthy eater who’s too busy to garden or who tends to kill everything they lay their hands on.
Perhaps the best gift you could give is a well-earned day off. Watch their face light up when they kick back and enjoy a day of total relaxation as you take care of all the hard work for them. Just be careful not to do the job too well or you’ll find them asking for the same thing for every birthday and holiday to come.
It’s a fact: the world is full of stuff, and most of it isn’t ours yet. Amazon Prime helps us to fix that problem a little faster, with free two day shipping, among many other benefits. Whatever their addiction, they can feed it on Amazon. Help them feed it faster and better.