Gift buying is never easy, but when there’s a world-class weirdo on your list, it can be worse than trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube with your feet while sucking on a blotter of acid. That’s why we’ve put in the hard work to find all the gifts that will get a thumbs up from that friend, family member, or neighbor who’s a little too…should we say unorthodox? It doesn’t matter if they already have the entire Weird Al box set – on vinyl and cassette – and have already tried every flavor of kimchi soda. We’ve got you covered.
The Relaxation Hoodie
High tech nervous system and brainwave manipulation finally meets the world of fashion with this cutting edge hoodie that makes the wearer look like a very relaxed psychopath. Whoever wears this will have to move every once in a while to prove they’re not dead, and they should consider speaking in a personable voice so as not to scare anyone. But it does look relaxing as hell. For a crazy person.
Real Insect Necklace
Get back to nature with some jewelry made out of dead bugs. Insects are some of the animal kingdom’s strangest creatures, and the brightest and most beautiful have been chosen for these unique pendants. It takes a special kind of weirdo to rock one of these.
Breast Milk Lollipops
Many, many people slaved away making these lollipops under great duress. They’re called confectioners, and they have a very stressful job. No, these aren’t really made from breast milk, so if you were excited that you found the perfect gift for that pervert you know, you might want to keep looking. Of course you don’t have to tell them they’re not real.
Phone Conversation Privacy Mask
Wearing this might get someone labeled a paranoid schizophrenic or mistaken for someone with an uncontrollable urge to bite others, but that’s the price you pay for protecting yourself from whoever is listening in, be it the government, aliens, or worse yet, alien government agencies. That’s the world we live in. This is the answer.
Snail Secretion Facial Mask
Apparently this stuff really works. It’s fine to pretend it’s something else if the idea of a snail crawling across their face grosses them out. But of course gross is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe it’s not a big deal. Beauty demands sacrifices.
The world of social media used to be looked down upon as empty, shallow, and juvenile. Nothing a fancy frame can’t fix. Whether it’s a favorite celebrity tweet or something more personal, give it the same treatment that an official document like a college diploma or training certificate would get. Power to the people.
Give them the gift of their own personal Finland with this hot and steamy portable sauna. There’s nothing weird about rejuvenating mind and body in the comfort of home, while head and hands are free to hold a book and read outside the heat – it just looks a little weird.
The Muppet Show Cuckoo Clock
This clock will tell the Muppet lover in your live when it’s time to play the music, when it’s time to light the lights, when it’s time to put on makeup, when it’s time to dress up right, and when it’s time to raise the curtain. Buy this Muppet clock tonight!
Fill out that cabinet of biological curiosities with this chthonic monstrosity. Lovecraftian horror combines with polymer clay artistry to create a gift only the oddest of your friends could love. But beware: a preserved nightmare of this sort has a way of making its presence known in unsettling ways.
Yes, we are talking about actual, for real radioactive, uranium ore. It’s nothing you could make a bomb from, we’re pretty sure, but point a Geiger counter at it and your friend is sure to get that uncomfortable “is this thing going to give me cancer?” feeling we all love to hate. Probably don’t give this one to your roommate.
We don’t know why anyone would need this. It’s just a box with a switch. And If you flip the switch it opens up and a little finger pokes out to flip the switch back. Because reasons. Here’s the thing though: you can do this all day, and it’s just as fun every time. Not sure that’s a good thing, but people seem like it.
The Self-Contained Hootenanny
Get your player piano out of here! This amazing device is 17 instruments in one. That’s an entire band! And not a small one either! It stores 13,000 songs in 10 categories, features a 15” touchscreen interface, and is housed in a magnificent oak cabinet that is a work of art all its own.
Golf Club Urinal
Your golfing buddy can drink beer on the course without having to hide in the rough with this novelty club. Golfers can hide their short game under a towel while they drain their personal water hazard. Give the gift of peace of mind this season.
Thought Controlled Cat Ears
Ah, Japan, land of weirdness, land of robotics, land of cute cat stuff. It all comes together in these crazy wearable cat ears that can read brain waves and move accordingly. After a few minutes calibration, these cybernetic(ish) prosthetics can be controlled by nothing more than your weirdo thoughts.
Loliware Edible Cups
Like an ice cream cone for your drink, Loliware edible cups allow you eat the vessel you just finished drinking from. Featuring flavors like Tart Cherry, Yuzu Citrus and Matcha Green Tea, this succulent glassware is the perfect gift to nourish your thirstiest loved ones.
The ostrich pillow allows you to bury your head in comfort and escape the danger of having to face a long plane (or train or bus) ride without the best travel pillow on the market. Give one to your favorite napper before their next trip, or after their last one!
Not everyone has space in their home for a life-sized(!) replica T. Rex skeleton, but, for those who do, we can’t imagine a more exciting gift. Unleash their inner paleontologist with this incredible, museum quality item, an exact copy of a real fossil skeleton found in the Black Hills of South Dakota.
mBerry Tablets Alter Taste Perception
Mberry miracle fruit tablets are seriously weird. They make food that should normally taste sour taste super sweet instead. Seriously, your friends will be guzzling vinegar like its cola. Host the world’s weirdest dinner party by altering the way your taste buds work for a while.
The Nightmare Before Christmas Cuckoo Clock
This bizarre cuckoo clock features characters from every weirdo’s favorite holiday movie, “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jack Skellington, his ghost dog Zero, and friends from Halloweentown play the song “This Is Halloween” every hour.
Fish Training Kit
Show your weird friend that they are the weirdest kind of weird by giving them the tools to train a goldfish to play basketball and soccer. Yes, you read that right. With a little diligence it is possible to teach a fish some tricks. If you immediately know who you would give this to, you owe it to yourself to make this happen.
Perfect for those occasions when you want to give someone the moon and the stars. This set of five amazing envelopes contain accurate depictions of the sky at night. Your astronomically minded friends will be amazed at seeing the universe in a piece of folded paper. As for the moon… well, you can probably figure that one out.
For your punk-rock friend with a not-so-punk pet, spray-on PetPaint can make any fur-covered beast look like a total badass. Color the cat and dye the dog in nearly every color you can imagine. It even comes in brown for some reason!
Help your weirdo friends learn things about their home they never wanted to know with a bottle of forensic Luminol. When mixed and sprayed onto an area, and illuminated with ultraviolet light, it will reveal the presence of blood or other fluids that the naked eye can’t detect. They might not thank you.
Crafting with Cat Hair
We all have that one friend. The one who can never seem to find that steady relationship. The one with a cat or two. And then three. And four. The one who starts to show up to parties, on the rare occasions she does show up, increasingly covered in cat hair. This book. This book is for her.
They say that just because you can do a thing, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you should do that thing. But did they ever consider how completely awesome it would be to ride around on a 49cc motorized cooler full of cold beverages? Yeah, we don’t think so either.
Otamatone – The Worst Musical Instrument
There are a lot of weird musical instruments out there, but many of them don’t make great gifts since it takes effort to learn how to play them. Not so with the Otamatone! There’s just not that much to know. Squeeze the bottom and it makes noise. Run your fingers up and down the neck, and it makes noise. See what we mean?
Giant Winking Eye Bag
Weird meets cool in this unique over the shoulder bag that features a giant winking eye. This rather convincing optical illusion of a photo-realistic eye opens and closes depending on the angle of view. Scare potential thieves away with this creepy accessory.
Edible Spray Paint
Edible spray paint is typically used by fancy cake chefs to decorate their creations, but might we suggest an alternative use? Why not give a can or two to your weird friend who is into graffiti? Let them tag their (and everyone else’s, probably) lunch instead of that spot under the bridge. It’s even certified kosher!
Wearable Sleeping Bag
It probably makes more sense to call this a sleeping suit than a sleeping bag, but whatever. With it’s rubberized feet and quick release hand openings, a person can walk around and drink hot cocoa without ever leaving the warmth of their sleeping bag.
You know that thing where you mime talking on the phone with your hand, with your thumb at your ear and your pinky at your mouth? These Bluetooth gloves make that real. Sure, people will think you’re weird, but they already think that. And at least you won’t be wearing one of those stupid earpieces.
Name A Star After Them
If you’re looking for a gift that says, ‘I think you’re out of this world’, we think we’ve found the answer. Naming a star after them is not only an everlasting token of your affection, it’ll satisfy their craving for the weird and wonderful when they start thinking about the fascinating science behind the star itself.
Send A Message On A Potato
Have you ever sent a card to someone and realized what a boring way to celebrate it is? Well, you certainly will if it’s being sent to the weirdest weirdo you know. Send them a message in a way that is as unusual as they are by having it written and mailed on a potato instead! Yes, this is a real company and service. And they actually have competitors.
Cup That Tricks Your Brain
We all know that to stay healthy, we should drink 8 cups of water a day, but water is boring and your favorite weirdo is more than likely anything but. Mixology takes a new turn into the modern day with these smart cups which are, we have to admit, a little bit weird. They can’t quite turn water into wine, but they can certainly make it taste different.
If you’re looking for a gift that they’ll never forget, treat them to a custom made Mousterpiece. They can be designed to your own unique specifications and are perhaps the ultimate weird gift. These beautifully crafted pieces of taxidermy are memorable, possibly a touch creepy, and yet somewhat incredibly endearing.
If the weirdest person you know needs a bit of a break from being, well, weird, cryotherapy is the newest innovation in spa treatments. Give them the chance to cool off and blow away the cobwebs with this rejuvenating experience which will leave them refreshed and relaxed, ready to get back to an optimum level of weird.
Brighten up their morning with a breakfast game-changer. The Selfie Toaster is a truly weird way for any weirdo to start their weird day. Whether you choose to brand their breakfast with your face or theirs, it is probably the most unusual way we can think of to eat the most important meal of the day, and a gift that will leave a lasting impression.
Beef jerky is a fond favorite of many but, let’s be honest, it’s pretty standard and when you’re looking for a less than regular gift for a less than regular person, you’re going to have to do better than that. Earthworm jerky might just be the answer. This jerky is packed full of protein and we hear that it’s really tasty too. We did mean to try it ourselves, honestly … but … earthworms.
World’s Largest Kit Cat Clock
We’re not sure how fond they are of cats or kitsch kitchen décor, but they’re sure to be familiar with the iconic Kit-Kat clock. Go one better for your favorite weirdo and get them the largest one that money can buy. Being late will be a thing of the past and come to think of it, so will sleeping if it’s anywhere near their bedroom…maybe stick it in the kitchen.
The Big Top Calliope
Where would you expect to find the most weird and wonderful things? The circus, of course! Capture the best of the big top with this musical masterpiece, which is not only beautiful to listen to, but beautifully crafted as well. It’s self-playing too, so if they’re not the most musically-gifted, you needn’t run too far away.
The Gift of Scottish Lordship (Laird Or Lady)
How weird is the weirdest person you know? Are they so weird that they’re deserving of a title? If they are, we’ve got their gift covered. Let them bask in all their weird glory as they become Laird or Lady Weirdo. What better way to celebrate what makes them unique than to grant them the title they deserve in, er, Scotland? This is actually a legit deed to a tiny portion of a real Scottish castle.
Larvets Edible Bugs
If finding a gift for the weirdest person you know is a bit of a challenge, we think we may have it covered with this wonderful delicacy. These edible bugs are high in protein and high on the list of unusual gifts that you wouldn’t buy for anyone else. Or yourself.
Buy Land on the Moon
You can never be too sure if you’re making a good investment with real estate here on Earth, so why not think outside the box a little? When we say outside the box, we actually mean outside the atmosphere. If you know a weirdo who’s optimistic about the colonization of the moon, this would be the perfect gift to help them invest in their future.
Sensory Depravation Session
Do you know what would be really weird? Absolutely nothing, quite literally. This is a perfect gift for someone who just needs to escape the world and it’s weird ways for a few minutes, even if the world becomes a little less weird without them in it.
Cat Toilet Training Kit
If you’re friends with the crazy cat person, you have to buy them this gift. Make them the envy of all their crazy cat friends with this toilet training kit, which will make litter boxes a thing of the past. It will also make their cat king of all the neighborhood felines, complete with his own throne to sit on.
Everyone did the occasional weird thing when they were a kid, some people didn’t grow out of it and just grew up to be weirdos, which we’re pretty sure is the reason you’re on this page at the moment. Take them back to their childhood with Lego blocks, but this time ones that are safe to eat, just in case that’s something they also never grew out of.
Remote Control Flying Fish
Not all superheroes wear capes but at the same time, not all things that fly are superheroes. They do make super presents for super weirdos though. This Remote Control Flying Fish will provide them with hours of fun.
Some people just want to live in their own little bubble, others just like to sleep, a lot. If either of those sound like the weirdo in your life, a head tent is a gift they’ll really appreciate. It’s also perfect for warm summer days, festivals and trips to the beach. They might get some funny looks while using it but hey, they’re used to that.
Gotta Go Disposable Restroom
If you know someone who gets funny about using public restrooms or someone who just needs to pee a lot, we think this present is pretty much spot on. This isn’t any old rain poncho, even if it looks like one, this is a modesty preserving, wearable restroom. Because when your weirdo’s got to go, they’ve got to go.
Sarah Palin Knife
This gift might be a bit of a stab in the dark but if you know someone who fancies themselves as a bit of a handyman or just someone who’s really into former Republican front runner paraphernalia, this gift might just do the trick. We’re not sure if the box comes with the warning but just in case it doesn’t, these knives aren’t guaranteed to be the sharpest tools in the shed…if you catch our drift.
We know that everyone marches to the beat of their own drum, but if your favorite weirdo is not satisfied with just their inner rhythm, these pants will surely to do the trick in letting them express themselves loud and proud. Word of warning, we’d make sure that you’re a safe distance away when they wear them.
These are perfect for weirdos who are a bit fussy with their food and those who think of themselves as a bit of a gastronomy guru. It’s the perfect addition to any experimental kitchen (should we say laboratory?) and will make any plain old boring dinner party a little bit more exciting because after all, if there’s one thing the weirdest weirdos are not, it’s dull.
Custom Voodoo Doll
It’s time to release those pent-up thoughts and frustrations that are clogging their mind so they can achieve maximum weirdness. Not only is it relieving to project angst onto an inanimate object, but it’s extremely entertaining! Let them dabble in the dark side with a custom made voodoo doll.
Lobsters By Mail
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to have someone mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Absinthe Making Kit
Back in 1905, a Swiss laborer had a sandwich and some absinthe for lunch, then went home and killed his family. And that was it for absinthe. A classic case of overreaction. Now it’s more than a hundred years later, and absinthe is again the trendiest liquor in the world. You might as well jump into the deep end. Here’s the diving board.
Poems by Cats
Poetry is the most appropriate art form for cats, because regardless of the author, nobody cares if a poem makes sense. In fact, the less sense the better. And cats are idiots. Creative, creative idiots, with agendas you never would have guessed.