Despite spending countless hours, day after day, working alongside these people, you may not actually know your coworkers all that well. This uncertainty can lead to boring gifts like a Starbucks gift card. But that sort of uninspired choice is a waste of a good opportunity. Remember, if you give a coworker a bad gift you’ll have to face them all week, and don’t be surprised if they don’t leave you the last donut. On the other hand, give your coworker a great gift and they just may file that paperwork for you, or cover for you when you want an extra day off. Those are the kinds of perks that a scented candle just doesn’t deliver.
Be that guy. Use these time-tested techniques to appear smarter in meetings - without even trying! Topics include “how to nod and pace” and “what to do with your face.” This fabulously snarky book is sure to appeal to those who are familiar with the corporate drudgery of relentless, inane meetings.
You might call your toes “little piggies,” but the truth is that feet are the real workhorses of the human body. And we tend to be pretty merciless toward them for long stretches of the day, so it’s a nice gesture to show them some love when it’s all over with. And healthy feet make a happy human, so you could try giving a foot hammock to the most unlikeable person you know and see if it brightens them up a bit. Or better yet, give it to someone you like. Trust us, they’ll appreciate it.
Pens have a way of disappearing, and since they don't have legs, we have to assume people are stealing them. These serial pen thieves are lurking in every office and workplace, and everyone is a suspect. We've all been a victim, and we all just accept the fact that when someone asks if they can borrow a pen, that pen may be gone forever. There is a simple solution - use pens that make people deeply uncomfortable, preferably with messages so unsettling that they may not ask you again. And since such a pen would truly be yours to keep, it ought to be a good one. These professional metal barrel pens not only make a memorable first impression, but are built to last and filled high with ink - unlike some discount novelty pens out there. A great gift for your coworkers and friends, and even better to keep for yourself.
We all know who this one is for. Every single office has one. And in most cases they’re so much alike that you might think they’re clones of the same alien from planet Annoying. But have some sympathy: in many cases, people are genuinely unaware that they’ve been spewing meaningless phrases for years. They’re just repeating things they picked up from bad Shark Tank pitches. This is a rather kind, discreet way of saying it’s time to cut the BS.
Some people say social media has degraded human communication. Why stop at the digital realm? This pair of self-inking Like/Dislike Stamps is perfect for your non-communicative coworker who thinks in status updates.
In order to truly command a room, you absolutely must have comprehensive wireless control of your surroundings. Public speakers must retain a god-like aura throughout their presentations, or they risk being torn to shreds by the ravenous maniacs in the audience. Appearing vulnerable in the midst of a corporate presentation for even a second is like jumping into a shark pool covered in chum. Don’t let a beloved coworker meet this fate. The good news is that audiences are easily impressed and distracted by simple implements like this wireless presenter. A true life-saver.
Effective communication is vital for a company’s culture to thrive in the long run. But there are so many obstacles that can get in the way of this on a day-to-day basis. Specifically, not everyone has the emotional intelligence not to drive everyone around them up the wall. One option is to train all of your employees in the art of interpersonal communication, but that’s expensive and really, some of them still won’t get it. On the other hand, everyone understands pictures of dog faces.
Show them who’s boss...but not too obviously, of course. Wreak passive-aggressive havoc with this walk-by game board. Settle disagreements, prove them wrong, and earn bragging rights, all without even saying a word...but no cheating!
In a world where deadlines are king, why not focus on a finish line that’s really worth celebrating? Retirement! They'll keep their eye on the prize with this optimistic ticker that will drive them to accomplish bigger and better things at work. Imagine the sweet silence of no alarm in the wee hours of the morning. Retirement will feel like it’s always right around the corner.
Oh no, you didn’t. You bet your voodoo doll we did! It’s time to release those pent-up thoughts and feelings of frustration that are clogging your mind so you can achieve clarity at work. Not only is it healthy to project your angst onto an inanimate object, but it’s extremely entertaining! Let go of what’s bogging you down and play a little. Dabble in the dark side and clear the air at work. You might be surprised at the results!
It can feel kind of strange to hand someone a notebook as a present, and be like, “Here, write in this.” But not when said notebook is an intricate and stunning piece of art like this wood-covered journal. Each one has either a natural image (plants, wildlife) or an uplifting message cut into the front cover. The unique and beautiful designs transform these from simple notebooks into works of art that the recipient adds to over time.
Sometimes it really isn’t our fault. And when those times come, you don’t want to be caught off guard, with no alibi and no excuse. Unfortunately, not everyone is good at thinking on their feet, so they end up taking the brunt of the blame when a more clever person would be able to weasel out of the same tight space with a minimum of effort. If you have a coworker who tends to go off the rails when no one’s looking, you might as well equip them with the excuse you know they’re going to need over and over again.
Do you have a friend who still consults a magic eight ball for important decisions? Well, it’s time for them to grow up. Everyone knows the real wisdom lies in magnets. The sleek design of this modern divining tool is sure to get attention for its looks as well as its results. Give the gift of infallible prediction.
Lottery tickets are a great gift you can pick up at your local convenience store, that come with a serious upside. If they win big you may get a piece of the action. Lottery tickets are often things that people won't buy for themselves, believing that they never win anything, but who could help but get their hopes up when you present them with a dozen chances to strike it rich and travel the world in a super yacht?
Air travel can be pretty uncomfortable, especially if you're crammed in an economy seat like most working folks. When the stress is mounting, the kid starts crying, and the pilot announces that they'll be arriving behind schedule, at least there is booze. These cocktail kits will help them find their happy place when they feel like popping that emergency exit and bailing out.
There isn’t an employee (or human) out there who couldn’t make use of this big red button! It’ll come in handy when the boss promises them that pay review for the hundredth time, or when Katie from finance claims her boyfriend’s band is the next Pink Floyd. Just make sure they wait until the BS-er is out of sight!
Sometimes it seems there is not enough caffeine in the entire world to get through the rest of the day. Now you can let your coworker test that hypothesis with the world’s largest coffee cup. Perfect for those who have left moderation far behind. Defibrillator not included.
Sometimes life at work is so f-ed up that you don’t even have enough time to list all your f-ing grievances. If you know someone who is so deep in the $h!7 that all they do is drop f-ing f-bombs all day, take some of the stress off their poor overworked f-ing tongue with this clever and handsome expletive sculpture. It works beautifully as a paperweight, but it’s also heavy enough to get attention every time they drop it.
Nothing is more important to company productivity than morale. And nothing raises morale better than acknowledging the real triumphs and heroics that make up the everyday life of an indentured office servant. There are no dragons to slay in the corporate world. The real battles are fought in small, desperate spaces like the sterile, suffocating environs of the meeting room. These things should not go unsaid.
Some people claim that the wonder and awe we feel as children disappears as we get older. In reality, it doesn’t go anywhere — it just takes a different form. For instance, if you’re an office worker, instead of pondering all the thrilling adventures you’ll embark on, you may find yourself mesmerized by the inanity of nearly all required workplace activities. This book is a guide to the fantastic landscape of corporate life, so you can help a fellow traveler better navigate this bizarre and surreal world.
Sure, you can’t change your boss’ inane, absurd, vomit-inducing pathological obsession with overused cliches that they wear like a extra layer of skin to cover up the embarrassing fact that they don’t have anything to say and secretly fear that they’re incompetent (don’t tell them we said any of that). But you sure can share that forbidden understanding with a coworker who will know exactly what you’re getting at. Let the therapy begin.
The saddest of lives come with their own ethereal soundtrack, silent but loud as life. This finely crafted instrument is the spirit animal of the chronically wronged, the serially jilted, the endlessly downtrodden - anyone who can’t catch a damn break and lives to tell you all about it. Presenting this to such a person will be like reuniting them with a twin from which they were separated at birth. This is at once an emblem, a mascot, and a lifelong companion.
Few things are cooler to the retro-obsessed than an old-time typewriter. And few things are more annoying to listen to from the next cubicle. Bridge the gap with this typewriter-inspired mechanical keyboard from Azio. The look and feel of this classic Smith-Corona inspired keyboard will transport its owner to the distant past (sorry, we only mean that figuratively. This isn’t a time machine). Feel free to complete the ensemble with a cheap plastic visor, cigar, and scotch tumbler.
Say goodbye to the desk covered in post-it notes, the misplaced notebook, and the back-pocket flash drive. Say hello to less is more. Embrace the future with this one-of-a-kind scribe. Translate your precious thoughts and to-do lists into tangible deliverables and never look back!
You’ve always taken for granted that your ceramic mug was the best way to keep your coffee hot. So let us ask, What other 12,000 year old technologies are you still relying on? It just goes to show that we haven’t really come as far from our caveman ancestors as we like to think, especially when it comes to eating and drinking. Show them how much more evolved you are by gifting them this space-age, temperature control ceramic mug.
Help someone take their spy game to a whole new level with a camera pen that shoots video in glorious 2k HD, leaving absolutely no question about who stole Deb’s ham sandwich from the office refrigerator. This is the ultimate gotcha device, allowing the user to catch people in the most compromising situations in the service of justice or future extortion. Oh, the bombshells they’re going to drop. Oh, the lids they’ll blow off.
Are you changing jobs soon and want to leave behind a legacy of disorder and cascading revenge? Give this book to the person at the office you hate least and let them unleash a reign of terror and annoyance. A perfect bridge burner.
This is “IT”! Beer drinking and source code … together at last. You don’t have to be a computer geek to like these tasty glasses, but it’s a sure sign you know how to have a good time! Great tech-appeal and class are the name of the game with these conversation starters. Cheers to being a genius and a refined beer drinker at that!
Transport them to a tropical land where soft sand cushions their overworked feet and salty air tickles their senses. Feel the warm breeze caress the cheek and listen to the gentle waves lapping along the shoreline. Achieve calmness, serenity and purpose inside the confines of the office cubicle. Frolic in the sand and let the stress of work float away.
Everyone gets their best ideas when in the throes of a caffeine rush, but the tools aren’t always handy just then to construct their timeless masterpiece. Legos are the canvas, brush, and pigments of the juvenile visionary. This is where art finally meets function.
Aggression sometimes gets a bad name, but the truth is that it’s only dangerous if misdirected. Many things in life should be aggressively pursued, such as happiness, growth, meaning, contribution — all of the warm and fuzzy stuff you see on posters. However, some people also feel the impulse to aggressively pursue verbal confrontation, or worse, opportunities to punch other people’s faces. For these folks, alternative avenues of release are really helpful. Here’s an opportunity to bring one of these alternative avenues to the most stressful environment of all: the workplace.
If you’re looking for a simple techie gadget that will really blow their hair back, this might be just the thing. A single led-studded fan blade creates a hologram-like clock face as it twirls through the air - cooling your room, telling the time, and blowing everyone’s mind all at once. Is it a physical metaphor playing on the idea that time is an illusion? A piece of alien technology? No, it’s really just a cool little gadget, even if it seems like it’s specially designed to freak out cats.
If they can’t inherit any of his talent, they might as well adopt some of his imagery. All office workers toil in words in one way or another, and those that take their words a little too seriously will probably get a major kick out of this. As will anyone who likes the classic look of an antique typewriter, or likes to pepper their speech with 1930s jazz-isms. Gives a timeless and classy look to the most sterile modern office.
Corporate life is not about achievement or progress, it’s about survival. Everyone in the office tribe knows this but few will admit it. With a few strokes of the pen, an artist has rendered that common feeling of treading water with feigned composure that all cubicle slaves feel as soon as they enter the dungeon. Remind them that you’re all in on the game with this humorous and poignant paper pad.
Everyone likes a nice stiff after-dinner drink, but sometimes you get tired of swearing at strangers and getting in fights with the sheriff. What’s a country boy to do? A great gift for anyone who’s looking to tone it down a notch but can’t give up the taste of that sweet Kentucky nectar. Or anyone who wants an extra special kick to start the day.
Like the commissioned public statues of old, the most revered among us are now immortalized in bobblehead form. In fact, being commemorated with a bobblehead is one of the highest honors that a modern man or woman can aspire to. Surely you know someone who is worthy of such a gift, whose contributions to society and their fellow travelers makes this an appropriate gesture of respect and admiration. Go ahead, place them among the great figures of history. They’ve earned it.
For the ultimate clock watcher, this stylish desk accessory is a fantastic way to count down the minutes left at work, hours left in the day, days left in the year, and years left before the sweet release of retirement, and that new life in the Bahamas. Or days spent pottering around the local garden center and shouting indignantly at daytime television.
The burden of constant decision making has been found to be the leading cause of workplace violence. Help forestall a catastrophe by moving the burden onto this ever patient, always reliable aluminum spinner. You may just be saving a life.
For the coffee and donut addicts of the world, it’s hard to believe that anything could improve this heavenly pairing. But that will make it all the more mind-blowing when they realize you have indeed given them something that will take the experience to another level. This truly ingenious piece of kitchen/office-ware provides the perfect platform on which the two elements meet to create the true breakfast of champions. Because if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.
Explaining to people why they suck gets very, very tiring. Luckily, two inspired authors did all the work for us. All the reader has to do is tear out the pages and deliver them to the appropriate assholes. If only all justice was this easy.
Everyone needs a little encouragement now and then to find the pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel. However, standard advice in this regard is often corny enough to make you puke. Sometimes you’re better off with a bit of no-nonsense wisdom that gets right to the point. Appropriately, this heavy pewter paperweight is solid enough to hit someone over the head with, and for some people this is the only way to absorb wisdom. Not that we’re recommending you do so. We’re just saying.
Everyone has that coworker whose desk is as barren as their donut-pummeled, fluorescent-bleached soul. You can try to add a little life to their surroundings with this concrete desktop planter. Its modern, spare, utilitarian design allows it to fit in just about any environment.
Someone went and leveled up the fish bowl. This is the perfect gift for that big-picture thinker who digs sustainability and balance. Also for anyone who wants a pet they don’t have to take care of. The organisms in this eco-sphere take care of each other, maintaining perfect aquatic harmony. Go ahead, write a poem about it.
At first glance, you might think this is how Salvador Dalí would have typed if he had lived to see the modern laptop. But this is something even the great surrealist never would have dreamed up. This soft silicone keyboard rolls into an ultra compact, portable size, so it’s a perfect gift for people who are on the go.
Highly successful people often advise us to pursue our passions, do what we love and the money will follow. Most of us, sadly, ended up in a job no one could be passionate about instead. But it's never too late to start a new career, and Imposter Cards may be just the nudge your coworker needs to find their true calling. This pack of 48 prank business cards includes 12 curious alter egos (4 of each) that demand explanation. They make a first impression that truly lasts, and are a great way to strike up a conversation. Or end one.
Ostriches can be terrifying beasts, especially when tired – and who can blame them, wouldn’t you be bad-tempered if you had wings but couldn’t fly? For your friend who really shouldn't miss their nap, this light and sound cancelling pillow will make sure they emerge fresh and amiable, unlike the ill-tempered ostrich they were 20 minutes earlier.
Share the gift of inner peace (and maybe prevent a premature coronary) with that twitchy intern or the overworked lifer three doors down who seems to give one too many of these just about every time. A solid laugh and a useful piece – but maybe, just maybe, not the perfect gift for your uptight boss.
Bunster’s Shit the Bed Hot Sauce is a mix of super-hot chilies and healthy superfoods (like goji berries and apple cider vinegar). It’s also a crowdfunding phenomenon and a painfully delicious gift for any health-conscious masochist you might know. There are lots of gourmet hot sauces out there, but this one is unique and strange in a way that true hot sauce connoisseurs find irresistible. Their mouth is bound to have a love-hate relationship with this stuff.
Don’t let mother nature’s inability to harness her own electrons cramp your style. Now you can stay connected even when far from civilization. Give this at the next company gift exchange and make your coworker the most popular person on the block when the zombie apocalypse comes.
Fed up of hearing from your colleague that they’re definitely going to the gym after work today, for reals this time? Give them the gift of an under-desk work-out machine and let them mindlessly pedal their way to fitness – with the added hilarity that they’ll look like a duck treading water, with their feet pedaling frantically under the surface.
Ah, the go-to command of frustrated and frazzled office workers everywhere! For the colleague who’s always saying he wishes he could terminate his tasks, shut-down, and reboot on a beach somewhere far, far away, provide next-to-no comfort with a cup of tepid coffee, served in one of these quirky cups.
Back in the day, carrying power with you meant having a pocket full of batteries. But sometimes 9-volt batteries would get short-circuited by your pocket change and heat up or explode on your leg, so you had to add potential medical bills to the cost of ownership. Or maybe that was just an urban legend. Either way, a mobile power bank will charge all your electronic devices, and you definitely don’t have to worry about meltdowns. Just way better all around.
These days, you can’t really say you have a cutting-edge anything if it doesn’t have the words “smartphone charging” in the title. Which is bound to lead to some strange home furnishings, like the smartphone charging toilet plunger, or the i-crowave. But considering that we now live through our smartphones more than we live through our brains, maybe we’ll soon welcome those things into our lives as well. For now, let’s just start with a wireless smartphone charging mouse pad, which isn’t weird at all.
Everyone has something to say that deserves to be lit up on a marquee for all the world to see. Or, at least they think they do. So maybe let them indulge that vanity on a smaller scale with a desktop light box and see how that goes first. It could be that all they have to offer are fart jokes and lame dad puns. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But this might be a more appropriate audience level.
Like a big brother (or sister) helping them through life one handy trick at a time, the Life Hacks desk calendar is here to let them in on all the little secrets that they wish someone would have told them years ago. Well, maybe not all of them, like where to find that pirate treasure they’ve been looking for since they were 8 years old. But really, it’s time they gave up on that and moved on anyway. This is where the real intel is.
We all know someone who needs this gum! Whether they’ve had a run-in with the boss, or an altercation in the copy room, this genius gum will make their, and your, life a whole lot easier. Also works as a subtle way of telling your colleague that they need to start doing the coffee run occasionally.
For the co-worker who sacrificed their promising sports career to join your company, ping them over this fun gift and help them to realize their true potential. Did you know Table Tennis is an Olympic sport? They could soon be on that podium, eyes glistening, thanking you for believing in them when no one else would…
You don’t need to be an expert in the Theory of Relativity to realize that any of your coworkers would love this genius desk accessory.Also, perfect if you can never find a paperclip when you need one – now you can just head over to Bob’s desk, and pretend you’re adjusting Albie’s hairstyle for him!
A great gift for your more anxious colleague, these quirky cubes will come in handy when they have to make that phone call they’ve been dreading, or go and ask the boss for a raise, or tell their partner about that thing that happened at the Christmas party with Linda from HR… yeah, it might wear out pretty quick.
We all do it, and yet we all have to pretend we don’t – this book will help you get away with it. The perfect gift for your bathroom-phobic colleague who always ‘pops home’ at lunch, this hilarious book is toilet humor at its best, and is sure to be (secretly) very well-received.
Nothing has the power to ruin your working day like a disappointing lunch, whether it’s a soggy sandwich you’ve thrown together the night before, or an over-priced salad from the local deli. Spare them this pain by gifting them this awesome portable oven, and they’ll soon be enjoying delicious (and envy-inducing) hot meals every day!
Mad Libs are a classic game that's endlessly entertaining to kids. If there are some people on your gift list who are still easily entertained, then the office themed version for adults is sure to take them on a hilarious trip down memory lane, while giving them a chance to vent about topics like who keeps stealing food from the fridge and bad restroom wifi reception. It's a great way to bring people together at work, to waste company time, but together nonetheless.
One of the hidden curses of modern life is the enormous mental anguish and psychological torment that is caused every day by tangled earbud wires. It’s a secret killer of mental health, a final straw landing on the back of the camel of sanity. Some thought the answer would be wireless earbuds, but we’ve found that a lack of wires just makes them easier to lose. As usual, the real answer is simple: having a case to put them in, instead of crumpling them up and cramming them into the nearest available pocket. Here is that case.
Move over shampoo; this is the new bath time essential. The perfect practical gift for any of your coworkers who often feel the need to drown their sorrows whilst surrounded in bubbles (which is most probably all of them). Also, this useful holder leaves your hands periodically free for eating pizza and browsing Netflix. Bliss!
The best (or worst!) gift for hypochondriacs everywhere! For that co-worker who’s always off sick (every workplace has one, and if you think yours doesn’t, it’s probably you), this book is a great gift to fuel their hysteria. It’ll also help them to diagnose much more interesting diseases for the rest of you to hear about. All. Day. Long.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? This knight pen holder will be their most loyal servant in all of their clerical crusades. Whether they’re battling with the bookkeeping or feuding with their filing, help will be at hand. And yes, their grocery lists deserve the royal treatment too.
For the colleague who needs to lighten up a bit, buy them a crazy Christmas jumper – you could even get one that lights up! Whether it’s a naughty snowman, rude reindeer or cheeky elf, these ugly sweaters will make even the most serious crack a smile. Not just for Christmas, they also make a great gift in June.
Technically speaking, this is a rubber stamp, but colloquially speaking, using it is the opposite of rubber stamping. It allows the owner to send useless, insulting, and otherwise subpar documents back where they came from with the appropriate level of contempt. Slamming this thing face first into each page in a stack of shitty documents may be the highlight of your coworker’s day.
Everyone loves a drinking game, especially at 11am on a Wednesday after that presentation from hell… just kidding. However, giving your colleague this fun, boozy gift is probably the only thing that will make the work Christmas party bearable. Pre-gaming at Karen’s anyone? We’ll be there in a shot, or 6.
If you’re looking for a gift for a coworker but can’t quite put your finger on what to get them, look no further because this one gets a big thumbs up from us. If they thought that having opposable thumbs was useful enough, they’ve never come across the even more useful USB thumb. It’s also a safer alternative than sticking their own fingers in the side of their computer.
The necktie is the unsung, often mistreated hero of the sartorial world. While shirts, pants, and jackets all get their own specialized travel bags to keep them clean, dry, and unwrinkled, neckties just get folded up and stuffed in the suitcase. But there is a price to be paid for this kind of disregard — and that price is a cranky, crinkly, abused-looking necktie that makes even the most dapper man look like he has been reduced to a stowaway sleeping in his work clothes in the undercarriage of a Greyhound bus. The necktie travel case is here to rescue that man’s dignity.
Written by James Bond himself (or, you know, an actual real-life spy), this eye-opening book is packed full of genuine, practical tips for self-protection, and is a great present for any colleague or friend. Guaranteed to come in handy during a kidnapping, mugging or zombie apocalypse, you might just save their life one day.