In case you’re not aware, death is always clawing its way into you through every pore. Make sure everyone else knows about this harsh reality too by giving them this book. Shatter their precious illusions of health and vitality, in the most entertaining and hilarious way possible. A perfect gift for your favorite hypochondriac.
Different people learn in different ways. Not respecting those differences is a major reason the public education system has failed us so terribly. Some people learn visually, some learn by mimicking, and some learn by beer. This book is for the last group.
It’s a big claim, we know. But yes, apparently all of life’s mysteries can be explained using flow charts, and this handy book has collected them all together. Give this gift to someone who has always wondered about the meaning of life, and bemoaned the lack of a sufficient diagram to explain it.
Mark Manson seriously doesn’t give a f*ck, and he wants you to not give a f*ck too. Despite its (not so subtle) title, this book isn’t about not caring. It’s about not caring about the things that don’t matter so you can give your energy to the things that do. Straightforward, contrarian, and positively life-changing.
Houses are great, but they don’t run themselves. There’s a million and one ways to ruin your property value, break important stuff, and blow yourself up. Don’t let someone you care about go blindly into that death trap.
Any resident of the hillbilly, redneck, white trash, honky, or poor cracker regions of America knows that beavers are good for more than building dams. If you’ve never had roasted beaver tail smothered in a bourbon dandelion sauce, well let me tell you…neither have I. But real country living is about making use of what you’ve got, and this book is the culmination of centuries of hardscrabble ingenuity. You don’t need fancy grocery stores or credit cards. All you need is a little backcountry wisdom.
People love venturing into nature for the near mystical experience of being connected with our pre-civilized roots. We feel a strong, implacable pull toward wild places like the desert and the forest. The problem is, nature really just wants to eat you. This book tells you how not to let that happen.
If they don’t know how to do these things by now, chances are they’re too embarrassed to ask. How to change a tire? How to make scrambled eggs? How can any self-respecting person ask these questions and not be mocked? Give them this book on the sly, and you could save them from their hidden shame.
Let’s face it, they’re going to learn this stuff anyway. You may as well make sure they learn it right, and some of the things in this book are better not learned the hard way. For example, it may be best to beat that lie detector test the first time around. Plus, it’s a gift for you too – after all, who knows when you might need someone who knows how to crack a safe?
The long and venerated traditions of alcoholism and literary indulgence share more in common than most people realize. The best experiences in literature and booze both involve escaping reality and then eventually coming back with the sense that you’ve experienced a brush with deeper truths that you can’t explain to another human any better than you can explain it to your cat. Of course this book can’t promise anything like that. But it’s fun to read and adds another layer to getting drunk.
Few activities draw as much attention, ridicule, and humor as farting. But until recently, nobody thought to create a taxonomy based on this fundamental behavior. Here is a science-backed tour of the world of bestial flatulence, providing an enlightening context to an activity that we often take for granted, but that never seems to lose its novelty. The project was spearheaded by a trained, certified zoologist, so you can rest assured that this information will never let you down when it comes time to apply it in the wild. This is the definitive guide we’ve all been praying for.
Nothing makes you feel more at home in a foreign place than knowing the right way to tell someone to go f*ck himself. Don’t let a traveler you know venture off into the great unknown without arming them first with this essential guidebook. No matter where you end up on this great planet of ours, respect follows those who command the rough outer edges of the language.
Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom - as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album - will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.
For thousands of years, humans have relied on the sublime art of taxidermy to remember their deceased animal companions, and to turn the roving beasts of the wild that they have felled with their own hands into game trophies. Taxidermy is like a three-dimensional photograph, not only capturing a moment in time, but telling a story with a single image. When done skillfully, it produces noble, enthralling, and emotionally moving symbols that mark our experiences and interactions with the rest of the animal kingdom. But like anything else, there are some real freaking hacks out there. This is their book.
Meetings are inherently stupid. A meeting is where good ideas, ingenuity, and morale go to die. So it would be extra stupid for anyone to put any more effort than necessary into contributing or looking smart. Here is a guidebook for the enlightened.
Who has time for trial and error? Folks today demand fast-acting, proven solutions to their everyday conundrums. A modern stand-in for the tried and trusted Farmer’s Almanac, this back pocket companion is more reliable than your great-grandmother and more concise than an open-ended Google search. Believe it or not, some of the “smartest” solutions have been around for ages.
Heavy drinking and recovery food are the yin and yang of the YOLO life. This book is 128 pages of pure detox alchemy, a journey through a magical culinary landscape where nausea evaporates like the morning dew and headaches turn to, well, less painful headaches. A must-have for the hard liver with a hard liver.
The senses of smell and taste are highly correlated. Of course, smelling books is highly correlated with general weirdness, but in this case it’s alright, because that’s what this book was made for. A great introduction to what you’re supposed to be noticing on the way to inebriation, perfect for a wine beginner, or for someone who’s trying to make the tough leap from the box to the bottle.
A bad stomach virus will elicit fewer groans than this book. When your sense of humor has calcified into something like petrified wood, it’s time to beat people gently into a stupor with it. This is the perfect instructional guide to doing just that.
The world is full of natural and man-made wonders, and in the modern age we have the means to visit all of them, and furthermore to get there within a day or two. And every one of these wonders is better seen while you’re still alive, which the title of this book is not shy about pointing out. Everyone needs something to shoot for in their golden years, and 1000 is quite the ambitious number. It's a gift that will inspire them to knock the dust off the old traveling boots and regain a sense of adventure.
For many wide-eyed young adults, the future looks ripe with opportunity as they imagine the glorious journey they’ll have while turning all their dreams into realities. Of course we know, most of those dreams will not materialize and many enthusiastic attempts at success will end in miserable failure. As this enlightening book explains, this seemingly endless floundering is actually the typical path towards real prosperity. Most of the important lessons in life are learned through mistakes and failures, lessons that culminate at some point (even if through sheer brute force and stubborn determination) in eventual success.
No matter how smart they are, or think they are, this book is sure to fill in some of the gaps. 500 gaps actually. They’ll be so well-rounded and informed that they’ll cruise through life with grace, knowing that when the time comes, they can perform CPR, dance the tango, and successfully fight off a shark.
The hoarder’s dream diary, this hardcover or ring-bound (it’s your choice) historical record-keeper finally allows them to organize and maintain their paid entertainment history. No more tossing them in a box or in the nearest convenient empty drawer. Now they’re sorted and annotated, and everything is easy to find in case of emergency or if the IRS decides to audit their entertainment history. Some people will tell you that memories are the lifeblood of existence, but we all know how unreliable those are. Better to have the hard copy.
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or maybe just gives you PTSD. Either way, it’s better than dead. Here’s a book that can help the owner avoid the dead category for a little longer, even when things get hairy. Rough world we live in.
Books are great, but they have one nearly universal problem: they’re not weird enough. That’s right, you’re not the only one who noticed. But thankfully, this book is weird enough for all of them. The first question is, What is it? A surrealist picture book? An encyclopedia for an alternate universe? A grand and painstakingly constructed joke? Even the author himself is hard to categorize. Most people would probably call him an artist, but it may be best just to call him a guy who makes things. And some of those things are really weird.
The internet may have trained you not to trust “listicles”, but that shouldn’t stop you from buying this handy book for a new homeowner in your inner circle. Unlike most listicles, this isn’t clickbait - in fact, being a book, it can’t be clicked at all. They have to read it. And after they do, they’ll be a lot smarter about all things home-related. A home should be a source of happiness, pride, and comfort, not an infernal, bottomless money pit. This is the guide to making sure they come out on the right side.
We all know who this one is for. Every single office has one. And in most cases they’re so much alike that you might think they’re clones of the same alien from planet Annoying. But have some sympathy: in many cases, people are genuinely unaware that they’ve been spewing meaningless phrases for years. They’re just repeating things they picked up from bad Shark Tank pitches. This is a rather kind, discreet way of saying it’s time to cut the BS.
Are you changing jobs soon and want to leave behind a legacy of disorder and cascading revenge? Give this book to the person at the office you hate least and let them unleash a reign of terror and annoyance. A perfect bridge burner.
The 21st Century can be an overwhelming place – space exploration, nuclear weapons, Justin Bieber… The Knowledge Book distills thousands of years of humankind’s most significant ideas and achievements— explains how they are linked and why they are important—and packs everything into a single, irresistibly readable volume.
We all have that one friend. The one who can never seem to find that steady relationship. The one with a cat or two. And then three. And four. The one who starts to show up to parties, on the rare occasions she does show up, increasingly covered in cat hair. This book. This book is for her.
Ordinary dudes have lots of doubts about meditation. Sit down and don’t move or think for a long time, and you end up smarter, healthier, and happier? We understand the skepticism. But if you get rid of all the woo-woo, what you’ve got is an astonishingly effective way to relieve stress, recover from injury, improve your mood, and boost your immune system. And best of all, they can do it alone in the dark where nobody will even see them.
Explaining to people why they suck gets very, very tiring. Luckily, two inspired authors did all the work for us. All the reader has to do is tear out the pages and deliver them to the appropriate assholes. If only all justice was this easy.
If you’re always relying on Trip Advisor, you’re going to be in for some nasty surprises. Because you never know whether the person on the other end of that five-star review has a conflict of interest, or even if they’re sound of mind to begin with. Leave the hardcore travel advice up to the experts who have the proven experience and insight. National Geographic has made a name for themselves by being THE authority on what to see and where. They’ve got some real skin in the game, unlike Doris from Grand Forks who thinks the Motel 6 in Albuquerque was better than the Grand Canyon. Send your loved one off into the great unknown with the real ultimate guide.
Add an element of intrigue, danger, and power lust to your dessert course with this acclaimed book of after-dinner recipes by a shadowy figure from the netherworlds of baking. Dazzle the tastebuds of your guests (or yourself) by making your way through the convoluted kingdoms of flour, yeast, confectioner’s sugar, and other forbidden pleasures. This is not a book for the weak of heart or the insulin resistant; for everyone else, it is a roadmap through a treacherous, unforgiving, but ultimately sweet terrain.
Despite its name, this is not a field guide to the best edible roadkill, but a legitimate book about things you’ll want to eat in different places across this wide and beautiful land. Packed full of hidden gems and insider tips, this book is sure to keep them full and satisfied no matter which direction they strike off.
Poetry is the most appropriate art form for cats, because regardless of the author, nobody cares if a poem makes sense. In fact, the less sense the better. And cats are idiots. Creative, creative idiots, with agendas you never would have guessed.
Written by James Bond himself (or, you know, an actual real-life spy), this eye-opening book is packed full of genuine, practical tips for self-protection, and is a great present for any loved one or friend. Guaranteed to come in handy during a kidnapping, mugging or zombie apocalypse, you might just save their life one day.
Animal farts are the most genuine, because they are done without the slightest comic intent. You could even say human farting is a corrupted act, because everyone knows they’ll get a reaction. Help celebrate flatulence in purest form, with all the colors of the rainbow.
If those homegrown massages are causing pains to linger a bit longer than expected, chances are your masseuse-in-training needs a tad more study time. This irreplaceable guide takes readers on an anatomical journey that charts every inch of the human body with artistic genius and incredible detail. Plunge into the mysteries of our incredible physique and gain insights on pain relief and the miraculous healing powers that originate from within.
Surprise! That boy you used to know is now old enough to vote, sue you, and enlist in the Army. But it seems like only yesterday he was just learning how to drive a car. A lot of changes and new responsibilities are coming, and that boy needs to know all the basic man stuff to get through it. Stuff like how to respectfully break up with a girl, how to drive a manual transmission, and how to use a circular saw, like a man.
You have no idea how weird the world is. Yeah, we know, you’ve seen your 400 lb next door neighbor dancing to the Bee Gees in his underwear through the front window at 2 in the morning. Take our word for it: that’s nothing. Anyone with a touch of wanderlust and an appreciation for the bizarre will cherish this book.
The ultimate guide to what they should have learned already, with a title that communicates what you can’t bring yourself to say out loud. The world may be a nicer place than the one you grew up in, but it still can’t help punishing dumbasses. Help them get it together.
When you’re a kid, you assume that by the time you’ve reached your maximum height, everything will basically make sense and you’ll understand what to do next. In other words, you’ll be an adult. Unfortunately, the truth is a lot more complicated than that, because in the real world there are no guarantees that you’ll ever become an adult no matter how long you live. This book is a great way to introduce a naive soul into that sobering reality.
Some people claim that the wonder and awe we feel as children disappears as we get older. In reality, it doesn’t go anywhere — it just takes a different form. For instance, if you’re an office worker, instead of pondering all the thrilling adventures you’ll embark on, you may find yourself mesmerized by the inanity of nearly all required workplace activities. This book is a guide to the fantastic landscape of corporate life, so you can help a fellow traveler better navigate this bizarre and surreal world.
Cooking for date night is a whole different ballgame. You can’t just bust out your regular frozen pizza, microwaved tofu burgers, or spaghetti and hot dogs. That’s a one-way ticket to Singlesville. But to do it right, it’s critical to have the right guidance. The delicious recipes in the Date Night Cookbook will make you a kitchen master, and the high-quality photography will ensure you know what it should look like when you’re done. This is the cookbook for people who don’t just want to avoid culinary disaster, but really knock date night dinners out of the park.
Money is a slippery commodity. Much like a wet fish, if you don’t handle it just right it’s bound to squirt out of your hands, never to be seen again. However, there’s a lot of solid advice available on this front. You just have to know where to look. The important thing is that you get this good advice in the hands of a new investor before they go monkeying around in the markets and end up with empty pockets and egg on their face. A beginner’s guide to investing from a credible source is a great way to start.
If you haven’t heard, the digital publishing revolution has been in full swing for years now. Anyone can order their own custom created books, pamphlets, and other propaganda material with the click of a button. Online printing experts Shutterfly have gotten in the game with a custom printed photo book. No more slipping Polaroids into clear plastic sleeves. That was cool in the 60s, but we’ve come a long way since then. Now you can commission the kind of glossy, professionally bound photo book that used to be reserved for the fancy-pantsed big shot photographers.
A book is more than just a collection of words and ideas. It’s a frozen piece of time — the intersection of one person’s (or sometimes multiple peoples’) thoughts and experiences with the moment in which they were recorded. So sometimes a 50th reprint of To Kill a Mockingbird just doesn’t seem to carry the same weight that it should. Serious book lovers love first editions, because they’re a tangible piece of cultural history.
If you spend a lot of time on social media, you’ll get the idea that all of the best pranks involve gross bodily injury, long-lasting emotional trauma, or wildly reckless behavior. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can all get in on the fun without maiming each other or risking serious prison time, and the authors of Pranklopedia are out to prove it. We can all use some wise guidance, especially the derelicts and social deviants among us that might otherwise be drawn to the dark side of prankdom. This book will help them keep the jokes coming in a way that everyone can laugh at.
Dr. Seuss isn’t just for kids, you know. He wrote books for people of all ages, even the ones who are at retirement age. This hilarious and insightful gift will be a pleasant surprise for any loved one entering their golden years who loves to laugh and remembers being young.
If there’s anyone you should turn to for sound financial advice, it’s a Boglehead — the devotees of the late great John C. Bogle, founder and CEO of The Vanguard Group. Follow the Bogleheads through the pages of this easy-to-read book toward the light of a financially secure future. Even if you currently have no idea at all what you’re doing, the Bogleheads will take you by the hand and lead you down the righteous path of retirement solvency. It’s like having a miniature financial genius in your back pocket. Except you never have to worry about sitting on him.
Conventional cookbooks are a longstanding staple of old time kitchens. But accepted as they are, they have a fatal flaw: they were written by total strangers, and therefore deserve to be regarded cynically by sophisticated modern users. The Family Recipes cookbook solves this problem, giving the owner a template that can be filled in with delicious instructions for cookery straight from the hands and minds of trusted kinfolk. Don’t let someone you care about fall prey to the demented culinary whims of some deranged outsider.
Truthfully, a college cookbook could be a mere three lines long: 1) boil water, 2) add noodles, 3) stir in shrimp flavor packet. Lucky for the soon-to-be debt-laden youth of America, the authors of this book went several steps further, compiling a collection of recipes that are easy, delicious, and cheap — while also hitting all of the main requirements of human nutrition, so even a broke English major doesn’t have to worry about ailments like the dreaded “Freshman scurvy.”
Most guests’ bathroom trips come and go without a single data point being collected. This bathroom guest book allows you to gather critical feedback on the finely curated relief/evacuation experience you’ve orchestrated for your visitors. This data gives you the knowledge you need to make the necessary adjustments to the structure, aesthetics, and accessories of your inner sanctum, as well as gain valuable psychological profiling insights on the people who have passed through. Think of it as the Google Analytics for your crapper.
When it comes down to it, life is really is just a series of happy little accidents from beginning to end (the good parts, at least). Which makes the late Bob Ross, cult hero and former host of The Joy of Painting, sort of like a modern American Buddha. This book collects his best short sayings, quips, and insights into one handy volume that can be referenced any time they need a lift. If this doesn’t transport them to a folksy sort of nirvana, nothing will.
This little fill-in-the-blank book makes a great gift for mom from children of all ages, even if they’re fully grown. With 50 pages of open-ended prompts, you’ll get the chance to say all kinds of things you never thought to tell her, and deliver them in a form that’s easy to keep forever. And even better, she’ll get to see what a clever and thoughtful human she managed to raise.
Here’s the thing about recluses, lazy people, and those who hate sitting at the family dinner table: they have to eat too. If they don’t, they just die. This cookbook is proof that somebody out there is looking out for them too. Her name is Marie Smith, and she’s the guardian angel of all those who hate communal eating and conventional cookery. Liberating the lonely and cantankerous masses from the tyranny of TV dinners and canned soup, she is the patron saint of the quick and dirty gourmet. And this is her Bible.
We all do it, and yet we all have to pretend we don’t – this book will help you get away with it. The perfect gift for your bathroom-phobic colleague who always ‘pops home’ at lunch, this hilarious book is toilet humor at its best, and is sure to be (secretly) very well-received.
These are the kinds of questions you would only ask Google. The stuff you're genuinely curious about, but that basic dignity prevents you from asking someone face to face. The most traditional approach to this problem is to drink Martinis until you can no longer feel any shame, and corner a doctor at a dinner party. Luckily there is a more dignified way. This book is the equivalent of cornering hundreds of doctors and it answers all the hard questions "a friend of yours" may be wondering about like "Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?", and "Does it really take 7 years to digest chewing gum?", or "Why is poo brown?".
Life is full of difficult conversations like talking to your kids about sex, asking a doctor about that thing you haven't told anyone about, and how to teach your cat about gun safety. You know, the important stuff that you keep putting off. With more and more gun accidents happening across the country all the time, it's more important than ever to make sure your cat understands the dangers of playing with firearms. This helpful guide also covers other topics that can endanger their 9 lives including Satanism, drug abuse, and how to survive the coming apocalypse.
Perfect for the foodie with a sense of humor, Fifty Shades of Bacon is a gift that’s sure to raise eyebrows and whet appetites. It features 62 floppy pages and 50 bacon-inspired recipes, and is the ideal addition to your current Fifty Shades collection. Start conversations and inspire creativity in the kitchen with this book that features arousing full-color images of bacon in all your favorite positions including: alfredo, bits, and ice cream. You heard it right: bacon ice cream. Don’t miss out on the plethora of dirty jokes that could stem from this amazing gift. Great for the coffee table, or for Level 2 awkwardness, the nightstand.
- 50 adventurous bacon recipes: that’s almost one every week of the year
- gorgeous still-life images of everyone's favorite food group: bacon
- from the critically-acclaimed author of CHOCOGASMS (also worth a view)
When he’s not whipping up beats and ghetto-smooth flows, it turns out Snoop Dogg is busy whipping up tuna casseroles and birthday cakes. Who would have thought? But then again, given his chosen pastimes, it’s a good bet that he’s hungry more often than the average human. A holy fusion of soul food, classic dinner dishes, and Cap’n Crunch, there’s something for everyone in these pages. Time to get down on some dogg food.
If you’re from the Americas, you may be surprised to find out that common gestures like the middle finger and the “ok” sign don’t travel as well as you might think. You also may (in case you’re not aware) want to be careful about how you scratch your chin while abroad. This is the perfect book for a frequent traveller who wants to know how to communicate all of the insulting, dismissive messages that just can’t be sent with words.
The John Wayne Handy Book for Men is far more than the name would indicate. This is no simple “handyman’s book,” nor should it be when it bears the name of history’s most famous tele-cowboy. This goes far beyond simple skills like repairing household items. Legend has it that all J.W. had to do was glare at a broken piece of machinery, and it fixed itself. No, this book holds the secrets to the more esoteric arts of the male repertoire, like building a fire, talking to ladyfolk, and raising children that aren’t a blight on society. Don’t let them ride off into the sunset without it.