Every once in a while you need to buy a gift for someone you know to welcome them into, well, their own home. Yeah, it’s a weird custom, but if you don’t do it everyone will think you’re a jag. To make things easier, we’ve scoured the internet for the best housewarming gifts in the whole world. In the unlikely event they don’t like what you give them, feel free to blame it on us. But we’re pretty sure they will.
This isn’t what the author meant when he said, “These words stand on their own,” but it sure does create a unique effect. And it’s sure to confuse small children and old people. Minimalism is old hat. Say hello to invisiblism with this creative housewarming gift.
When he needed to find out where a pipe was, your uncle Len used to punch through the wall and feel around with his hand. No, that wasn’t a dream, he really did that. The man was a neanderthal. These days even neanderthals have smart phones, and this android app lets them find out where pipes, studs, and wires are with no brute force at all. Huzzah.
Clouds have always been associated with mystery, beauty, and spirituality. Now they can also be associated with awesome lighting for someone’s bedroom or living room. Soft light filters into the room to create a warm, inviting ambience. Take their home decor into the stratosphere with this unique housewarming gift.
We really like to pretend that all the things we don’t like or need can just go away. You might even say our whole society is built on this illusion. But I’m not about to go all Dick Gregory on you. Just pointing out that a built-in vacuum that eliminates debris with minimal effort will probably make someone you know feel a lot better about everything.
A first impression is a dominant factor in shaping perception. A hilarious doormat begins that process even before eye contact is made. Help them ingratiate themselves with party guests, traveling salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and whoever else happens to stumble upon their threshold. A little personality never hurt anyone.
Houses are great, but they don’t run themselves. There’s a million and one ways to ruin your property value, break important stuff, and blow yourself up. Don’t let someone you care about go blindly into that beautiful new death trap.
The government has been working for years to create light bulbs that will burn eternally, by entrapping the souls of orphans in small glass domes. Until they have the glitches ironed out, a set of 20-year light bulbs should bridge the gap just fine. Don’t worry, they’re still working on it.
Covering your losses is a forgotten skill in today’s world. You can buy them all kinds of fancy stuff, but without one of these there’s a small but non-negligible chance you’re just providing kindling. Here’s the antidote.
Moving into a new home means jumping into an endless sea of home repairs, contractors and service providers. This is a practical housewarming gift that will help them keep it all recorded and organized. Are we do for a water test? Did the leak start before or after that plumber was here? Who was that guy we used to trim the trees? All the answers and more can be found in their new home journal.
3D printing technology is all the rage these days, but has anyone been able to explain to you what the point of it all really is? Well wonder no more! The point, as is so often the case with hi-tech gadgets, is pancakes. Design and print pancakes in shapes never thought possible before. What a time to be alive and hungry for breakfast.
Everyone likes a housewarming gift, but there is a limit to how hot a new homeowner wants their house to get. Enter Fire Avert. When the smoke alarm comes on, Fire Avert turns the stove and oven off. This simple kitchen gadget should be standard safety equipment in every home.
The first thing every self-respecting new homeowner does after moving in is start painting those walls. But what colors??? This handy little gadget allows you to scan a surface to get the exact color and match it to any of more than 10,000 colors from leading paint brands. You can even share color palettes over email and social media!
This is meant to be a one-stop home control unit for pretty much your whole life, and comes startlingly close. Messaging, news, weather, music, light switch operation, and more. A lot more. And no, you don’t need to own a motorcycle and sidecar or play ping-pong with Alec Baldwin to use it.
Hanging a row of pictures straight seems like an easy enough thing to do, but if you’ve ever tried you know it’s easier said than done. New homeowners will have lots of opportunities to use this handy tool that really puts things in their place. The Hang-o-matic marks the exact spot on the wall that the nail needs to go and includes a tape measure and built-in level.
Sure, we lived for hundreds of thousands of years without electricity, but that’s not the point. The next time they’re in the middle of baking a casserole and a squirrel falls in the wires at the power plant, don’t make them resort to eating lettuce and raw cookie dough for dinner. Every house needs one of these.
Any new homeowner will have a lot of empty walls to fill. You could buy them a print, if you’re sure about their tastes, but why not buy them tens of thousands of works of art instead? This digital art museum can match any decor and can even display uploaded original art or photos.
A home safe is often one of those after-the-fact purchases. That is, people wait until after their first burglary to buy one, when they don’t have anything to put in it anymore. Save them from their own silliness and make the smart investment for them.
Offering to vacuum your friend’s house every day would be an insane (and insanely good) housewarming present that nobody would ever give. And yet, if you think about it, that’s exactly what giving them a robot vacuum amounts to. Give the gift of clean floors every day with this amazing invention.
You tap a watermelon to tell if it is ripe, right? Now tap it another way! For the person whose new house has that killer patio, the Watermelon Keg Kit makes every cookout an instant party. Not only do you get a super cool drink dispenser, but you get to eat the watermelon, too! WIN WIN!
The first time they filled the basement with batteries was just before the Y2k crisis. Or if they’re old enough, perhaps during the cold war. In both cases, nothing really happened. But maybe three times is a charm. Even if the modern world doesn’t collapse on itself, you’ll be giving them peace of mind knowing that their 84 remote controls will always be well fed.
They may have bought a great big house with all kinds of modern gadgets, but don’t let them forget that Mother Nature still knows how to provide for her children. Well, in this case she needs just a little bit of help, in the form of a big reflective parabola that makes food delicious. Stylistically it’s not exactly retro, not exactly post-modern; more like caveman-futurist.
Watch opposing armies fight for supremacy on the living room wall with this piece of functional art. Grandmasters and novice players alike will appreciate checking their opponents on the most unique game board in their home. Framed like a picture, this chessboard makes a lovely housewarming present for anyone who loves to play games.
No longer just the province of fancy schmancy chefs in the big city, sous vide cooking is now available for the home cook as well. Give your friends the gift of perfectly cooked, melt-in-the-mouth meats at a fraction of the cost of dining out. Just make sure they invite you over!
Front doors on new homes are so well-oiled that they don’t usually squeak at all when opening, so your dog-owning friend will love you for giving this lovely little music maker as a housewarming gift. It’s the perfect way to make sure the dog clearly hears it every time the door is opened.
Candle light has a soft, natural beauty that helps it remain popular even today, no matter how many people have burned their houses down. With the right decorative holders, not only can you eliminate the chance of catastrophic fire, you can even transform the candle’s light into a projector of unique artistic images. These glass tealight holders feature nature scenes and uplifting messages to promote the calming atmosphere every new home needs.
Few household hobbies have the potential to be as hard on the joints as gardening, unless you like playing “Army Men” and parachuting off the roof with umbrellas, like some of us did as kids. This waterproof nylon stool does double duty as a knee/ankle saver and a tool bag, so the right implement is always within reach.
Remember when the rich family on the block had a riding lawnmower? This thing makes them look like the Flintstones. A robot lawnmower is the ultimate set-it-and-forget-it landscaping device. Way smarter than any lawnmower you ever expected to see. Thankfully, they had the foresight not to give these things arms, in order to avoid a Terminator situation.
There aren’t many aspects of a public restroom that you would like to bring inside your home. In fact, this is probably the only one. The toilet is going to be the dirtiest thing in any house (we hope), so why would anyone want to be putting their hands all over it? A motion sensor activated flushing unit takes care of this problem.
The fire escape is a staple of the urban landscape. Most people are too scared to use them in an emergency anyway, so they’re really just a decorative addition. At least this one holds your pictures and flower pots. Help someone give their new loft, studio, or suburban mcmansion a gritty, fashion-forward vibe with this unique housewarming gift.
Coffee beans, roasted or unroasted, confer a distinctive buzz when consumed that’s characterized by heightened mental function and increased energy. Studies show, however, that many people prefer to brew them in hot water instead of eating them. To do this, they must be ground first. We think this fancy, compact, and handsome grinder is a great way to do that.
Thieves these days can break into any safe, as the movies attest to. The key is in fooling them. Storing valuables inside an innocuous-looking clock is the perfect way to foil any evil plan. When you’re this clever, you don’t even need to lock things up.
Bring the charm of the outdoors inside without having to deal with all the wildlife and their bizarre eating habits and communicable diseases. This felt rug looks just like a rock footpath but feels wonderfully comfortable underneath your feet. Complements the other natural materials in any interior space.
Here’s a gift you can give without having to worry about redundancy. No matter how many houseplants they have, there is always room for more. They’re inexpensive, they naturally clean the air, and with a little bit of care they last for a long time. A classic housewarming gift for good reason.
The natural cycle of life involves death, decay, and rebirth. A really good compost bin allows you to speed this process up, almost like you had the hands of God. Actually, don’t tell them that. They’ve got a big enough ego already. Just tell them it “makes stuff grow faster”.
This thing is like the skyscraper of compost gardening, saving valuable space with its vertical build, turning decomposing scraps into fertilizer as it goes. A veritable tower of growing power. The pillar that needs no tiller. The grower that doesn’t…well, you get the idea.
These lamps put a unique spin on the idea of “natural light”. An led lights up the veins of the acrylic plant leaves, creating a diffuse, colored light effect. A beautiful cross between nature and invention, and a creative housewarming gift for the art lover who thinks living things are pretty but kind of a pain in the ass.
You take drinking water for granted because it’s always been there. But no amount of planning can stave off certain emergencies, like natural disasters, zombie infestations, and other end-of-the-world scenarios. This giant water bladder will get them through the first several weeks.
If you think that intoxicating substances and baseball don’t mix, consider that Doc Ellis once pitched a no-hitter while tripping on acid, and old time icons like Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, and Harry Caray were pretty much drunk all the time. This unique and meticulously crafted centerpiece is more proof of the divine intersection between the national pastime and…the other national pastime.
No matter how much you may not want to, you can’t help finding this lamp funny. Go ahead, laugh at the plight of wounded animals everywhere. We promise you won’t accrue any bad karma. Need we say that the dog lover you know needs this housewarming gift?
Kitchen mastery is just as much a science as it is an art. Most people’s understanding of cooking remains superficial, but the culinary scientist sees what everyone else is missing. This laboratory-inspired spice rack proves that even when it comes to food, nerds do it better.
This sanitizing wand destroys bacteria and germs without the use of chemicals. A necessary addition for any new home, giving them the peace of mind of knowing they’re safe from things like food-borne pathogens and infectious disease. Because those little bastards can contaminate anything.
Shish kabob grilling is great, in theory. But the meat always spins when you try to flip it, the veggies fall off, and your hands get burned. That ends today. Flat skewers prevent spinning, the rack gets the food off the grill to prevent sticking, and proper handles protect your skin.
If you’re looking for a practical gift you might consider a drywall repair kit. Drywall takes a lot of abuse from daily life, especially if they have kids. With this kit they can repair small holes without any special skills or tools.
Back when old people were kids, shadow puppeteering was accepted as a legitimate skill. That meant holding your hands in front of a light to create rudimentary animal shapes on the wall, because there was no internet. These candleholders are a serious step up. Just try making a mature cedar with your hands. Ok, stop. It’s not going to happen.
You could buy them a 17 man band that could live in the corner of their den and serenade them every day, or you could just go with this unique piece of furniture that can play 17 instruments at once. Plus this pneumatically controlled Hootenanny can remember how to play 13,000 songs.
They may know the best recipe for every major Northern Italian, French, and Thai dish ever invented and be able to whip up a soufflé blindfolded, but can they cut a tennis ball in half in mid-air? The truth is, these knives do all the work for you. Or so we’re told. They certainly look better than that Walmart set.
Nobody wants bugs in the house, but some people feel bad about killing them, too. It’s not their fault they need a home, after all. The Bug Vacuum solves this moral conundrum by giving us a way to safely catch and release household spiders and insects without having to touch an icky, itsy-bitsy, creepy crawler.
Quadruple size your triple word score with this enormous Scrabble board. Your wordiest, nerdiest friend will love letting passing strangers see them crush all opposition through their front windows as they walk by on the sidewalk in front of their new home.
Here’s some art that really grows on you. A hanging garden that can be placed on any wall in the house, it can add a bit of unexpected life to an interior space. The frame comes decked out with easy-to-care-for succulents, so you don’t have to worry about giving this to someone with a brown thumb.
No, not THAT kind of herb! Get the kitchen started right by giving the ability to grow fresh herbs right in the home all year long. Spice up the new house with parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, dill, mint basil, oregano, and more. And maybe that other herb, too. We won’t tell.
A video doorbell should come standard in every home, but since it doesn’t, you’ve found a great gift idea. They’ll be able to see who is at the door, and make that critical judgement about whether or not to get up and open it, by simply checking their smart phone. Ignoring unwanted guests has never been easier. Just hope they come to the door next time you ring.
Why have someone else “smell this and tell me if it’s OK” when you can have science do it instead? The Food Freshness Detector can sniff meat, fish, and poultry to tell you when you need to cook it a little more thoroughly or throw it right out. Give it to that friend who loves to throw dinner parties and eat the food without worry.
Nothing beats a pizza cooked in a wood-fired stone oven, but a giant pizza oven is a little difficult to give as gift, though it could certainly warm a house. This stovetop version is a lot easier to wrap and delivers the same great flavor as its big brother.
People say they love camping, but are we 100% sure they don’t just love to eat s’mores? Why not buy your new homeowner friend this S’mores Machine as a housewarming gift so they’re not tempted to start a campfire in the middle of their living room. Let them enjoy the new house instead of sleeping in a leaky tent.
Moving into a new home is great, everything is clean from top to bottom. If only it could stay that way. Help the new homeowner keep the castle tidy and germ-free with this hand held vacuum that kills germs, viruses, and bacteria.
This is the perfect choice for their bedside reading lamp - a light bulb that actually promotes sleep. Typical bulbs emit a specific type of blue light that suppresses melatonin, but that wavelength of color is filtered out of this bulb that is used by NASA to help astronauts sleep in space.
New homeowners usually have a long list of projects they want to do around the house, and a garden is often one of them. Help them get started with some sleek indoor planters that are perfect for growing herbs and small flowering plants. If they don’t have a green thumb they can always use them to store other things.
Give frequent travelers the opportunity to regale their house guests with stories of the time they were in wherever. This foam-backed map lets travelers chart their journeys with tiny flags and other markers and can be printed with any message the recipient chooses. A classy gift that looks great in any room.
If they have screens in their windows or a screened in porch, those screens are going to get torn. They can be a hassle to replace and, for most people, it’s the kind of thing that sits on a to-do list for 3 years.But that’s only because they don’t have this handy patch kit that can repair the damage in minutes.
What could be better for serving drinks at the round table than a knight in shining armor packed full of liquor? This full suit of Gothic plate armor makes your home a castle while also defending guests and homeowners alike from the ravages of thirst. Sword not included.
Here’s a gift that will make them appreciate how easy it is to just go to the store and buy a bottle of wine. But before that appreciation has fully cultivated, they’ll spend countless hours trying to perfect their own special blend with this wine making kit. It’s a pretty simple process at its core, after all, prisoners make wine in the toilets, but a tough one to master. At the very least, we’re positive that they will not make the worst wine on Earth with this thing, but we would taste with caution.
One of the hidden costs of home ownership is that you have to do everything yourself. They’ll really enjoy a one day reprieve in the form of free yard work. If you want to make your money back on this, offer to let them kick back, get drunk, and hurl insults at you while you manicure their lawn - for a small fee, of course.
Nothing makes a home feel unique like incorporating art into its basic function. Modernism is all about austerity and total lack of decoration, and these light switch covers are like a stick in the eye of that architectural philosophy. If you know a steampunk fan who’s moving into a new house, they’ll go ape over these. You don’t have to understand. Just trust us.
It’s been said that there are no straight lines or sharp corners in nature. And while it came from the mouth of a very smart man, it’s actually kind of a dumb thing to say, and not true at all. But we’re sure he had a point. These hexagonal planters are further proof that straight lines and nature go hand in hand like…well, like two hands.
Some people need visual feedback in order to understand their progress. With these right and left brain bookends, they can literally watch as their mind expands with each book added to the shelf. Of course, they still have to read them to absorb the knowledge. Let’s hope you don’t have to explain that.
Every new home should be protected from the elements, including those some careless soul drags in with their boots. Unlike you, this doormat can absorb 12 pints without making strange accusations or bringing up the past. One of the few home additions that makes a better houseguest out of everyone.
Sunflowers are some of nature’s most obnoxiously beautiful creations, and they make a real statement when planted in your yard. Bright yellow and absurdly tall, they grab the attention of every passerby. Almost like standing on the porch and yelling at people, but in a really endearing and pleasant way.
Looking for a really forking good gift? Okay, so fried foods may not be the healthiest choice out there, but there are times when you just can’t help but make an exception. This electric fondue maker is the perfect thing for dinner parties and puts a fun twist on appetizers and desserts. The oil, cheese, or chocolate will stay at the perfect temperature and it never runs out of fuel.
Everyone hates doing the dishes. Anything you can do to ease that burden will be appreciated. Take glassware for example. With Loliware when you finish your drink there’s no need to take it to the dishwasher. You just eat it, or save it for a midnight snack.
Why is it so hard to judge the correct amount of spaghetti noodles to cook? It’s not like we haven’t done this a million times. For whatever reason, the human mind cannot solve this equation. Luckily there’s no need with this handy tool that can measure standard portions for people and even those who are so hungry they could eat a horse.
You probably know someone who would like their own personal supply of organic produce but doesn’t have the time to manage a multi-acre farm. Or go to the grocery store for that matter. This is also a great gift for the healthy eater who’s too busy to garden or who tends to kill everything they lay their hands on.
Most people poop incorrectly. With all that practice you’d think we’d all be good at it. The Squatty Potty gets the body in the correct posture and claims to help with all sorts of health issues. It’s a great housewarming gift since all things toilet related are inherently funny.