Few events have the potential to inspire as much existential angst as the 30th birthday. But that’s no reason not to celebrate. Reaching 30 only means they’re finally leaving that haphazard, ever-dangerous, dizzying phase of pretend adulthood. Now it’s for real. Welcome them over to the dark side the right way.
We love this gift idea for the person turning 30 who has put down some roots and is planning to stay put for a while. Fill it with anything - pictures, words, a bottle of something, whatever - and bury it together in a place they’ll be in 30 more years. It will be an even better gift the year you dig it back up together.
We think the word is out on how great an Amazon Prime membership is. The free shipping on millions of products? That giant video library? Sign us up! No, seriously, sign us up. Please? And you should sign someone you love up as a 30th birthday gift too while you’re at it.
A thirty year-old should have learned a thing or two about how to do stuff the best, cleverest, or most efficient ways, but some people aren’t as quick on the uptake as others. For them, there’s this book. They can learn all the tips and tricks their quicker cohorts have figured out for themselves.
There are a lot of people at this age who are just starting to make a little money but who went to school for things that have nothing to do with business or money management. Give someone like that this book, which will bring them up to speed on how to smartly invest their new wealth.
Help the 30-year-old in your life focus more on their health…or at least tell people they do. “Yes, I only need 200 more steps before I reach my goal. Oh, you don’t keep track—yeah, I used to be like that, but now I know better.” Just make sure to shove plenty of candies in their direction, or they’ll flip their health speech on to you.
Most people would buy these to experiment with cooking, but any cooking is good if it’s free and it’s for you. Use this gift as an excuse to mooch off the 30-year-old in your life. “Have you tried my gift yet? Why don’t I come over and we can use it together?” Using that excuse too much can be dicey though and it may end up with your friend purposefully cooking questionable cuisine.
If the thirtieth birthday is a time to take stock of one’s financial health, why not make the stock-taking literal as well as figurative? With a gift of stock, you can set someone on a path of investment that can make all the difference when they want to retire a lifetime from now.
There comes a time in every young person’s life when they realize that they are more excited about getting a great deal on a jumbo pack of toilet paper than they are about getting tickets to an upcoming music festival. That time usually comes right around their 30th birthday.
Some people might ask if anyone really wants to have a special piece of kitchen equipment just to make weirdly shaped pancakes. To those people we say this: How do you explain the existence of waffle irons? Aren’t waffles just pancakes with a shape, basically? Rhetorical question. No emails please.
Does your friend still seem to think they’re invincible even as their 30th birthday approaches? Give them the gift of a creeping sense of their own mortality with this book that can trigger existential crisis and gales of laughter in equal measure.
It doesn’t have to be a first edition. Maybe a special edition, or a signed version. The point is that you know enough about them to know what book would be special enough to give them on their 30th birthday.
Here’s a birthday gift that will make them appreciate how easy it is to just go to the store and buy a bottle of wine. But before that appreciation has been fully cultivated, they’ll spend countless hours trying to perfect their own special blend with this wine making kit. It’s a pretty simple process at its core (after all, prisoners make wine in the toilet) but a tough one to master. At the very least, we’re positive that they will not make the worst wine on Earth with this thing, but we would taste with caution.
Giving someone a 3D printer makes giving a gift made out of plastic the equivalent of giving someone a fish instead of teaching them how to fish for themselves. Rather than buying all their plastic trinkets, they will instead print up whatever they need. It will be like metaphorically owning a pond.
This birthday, why not give them a bouquet of something they actually want – like the chance to win the lottery and retire early to travel the world in a super yacht! Plus, if they win, they’re sure to share their millions with you, right? Right?? Jon, can you hear me, you seem to be sailing in the other direction…?
Breaking down and having to call your dad for help is bad enough at 16 – by 30, you’ve outgrown that drama. The gift of an AAA Membership will mean they don’t even need to admit they had an auto-related problem – allowing them to retain the aura of cool, calm and collected adult, who has their s**t together. Ha!
They may be the world record holder for moo goo gai pan take-out orders, but that doesn’t mean they can’t apply that same ambition to a more progressive enterprise on the culinary scene. These boxed meals feature fresh, nutritious ingredients that will inspire healthier eating and put a lid on that MSG consumption. Award their starved taste buds and support responsible land stewardship while you’re at it!
Well, they’ve spent 30 years in this reality, they’ve probably had enough – we didn’t invent a whole new one for no reason. Give them a virtual reality headset and allow them to come face to face with dinosaurs, dance on the moon, meet their idol… you’ll probably never see them in the real world again.
Legal in all 50 states, this herb garden smokes the competition! The aroma of fresh herbs will bring serenity and well-being to their home and some much needed flavor to their cooking. Rosemary, thyme, dill, sage, oregano, the options are limitless! Green thumbs not required for this low-maintenance nursery. Sprigs of yummy goodness direct from Mother Nature.
Why are they still struggling to light a charcoal fire when there’s a 90 billion megaton flaming ball hanging above us? Help them learn to be more resourceful with this reflective solar cooker, then let daylight do the rest. Does NOT double as a tanning device.
Years ago, we were all told not to play with our food. Now the highest paid, most famous chefs in the world are doing just that, and nobody thinks to slap the gelified calcium chloride out of their hands. This is the food the Jetsons would have been eating if they were more sophisticated.
We’re not saying you should buy someone a South African Gold Krugerrand for 1300 bucks or whatever it is - though that would be an incredible 30th birthday gift, holy crap - just that precious metal coins are fun to have. You can get an American Silver Eagle for like $20, and it’s almost as cool.
It’s amazing to think that the idea giving someone a kit to take a sample of their own DNA, that will then be sent off and analyzed, resulting in a detailed personalized genetic analysis, would have seemed like total science fiction just a few decades ago. But here we are.
Pack up your cares and woes, and head out into the wider world by making plans and delivering them to your favorite 30 year old as a present. Then jet, or drive, or cruise off into the sunset, leaving all your worries behind. The best part is that there’s to need to overthink the destination, just go anywhere. It’ll be great.
Back in the old days you were really rolling the dice when you chose a hotel. Either you called blindly after skimming the phone book or simply drove all night and hoped you saw a vacancy sign before you ran out of gas and got murdered by a vagrant. A hotels.com gift card is not just a way of picking up the tab for a night’s stay; it’s also the priceless gift of peace of mind.
Thirty is exactly the sort of age where a person finds themselves wanting to go the extra mile to impress a special dinner guest with their cooking skills. Help them have all the right kitchen moves by giving them a the means to make their cooking outrageously tender and juicy.
Somebody’s got to say it. We all know the one whose 30th birthday is looming right on the horizon, but who for whatever reason refuses completely to get their sh*t in order and start behaving like a grown-*ss adult. You just want to tell them to Grow the F*ck up! Well that’s the title of this book.
Keep trying to cling to your grandpa’s paper money, and in due time its only use will be as kindling for your dinner fire over in hobo town. The future is digital, and that extends to the currency that you’re going to use to buy other theoretical digital property. Give someone the gift of future solvency.
You care about the 30-year-old in your life: that’s why you’re giving them an excuse to talk—or in some cases, yell—to themselves. “Alexa, stop music. I SAID STOP MUSIC.” When it’s working properly, it will be helpful though, which is why they’ll be sure to thank you—if the Amazon Echo understands to text you correctly.
Sure, we lived for hundreds of thousands of years without electricity, but that’s not the point. The next time they’re in the middle of baking a casserole and a squirrel falls in the wires at the power plant, don’t make them resort to eating lettuce and raw cookie dough for dinner.
A loaded toolbox: helpful, considerate, and a great way of watching the 30-year-old in your life wonder what they’re going to do with three different sizes of wrenches. Bonus points if they don’t know what a tool is. Double bonus points if everyone else knows what the tool does except for them. Loaded toolboxes: a great way to be kind to your friend while being a tool all at the same time.
Encouraging literacy, supporting authors…and watching as your friend helplessly pushes buttons hoping to open the application. Nothing says, “I care about you” quite like watching someone helplessly read through a manual. Hey, at least they’ll be reading something thanks to you.
DNA samples just got really elegant! So what if the Feds might be able to find them, at least they’ll have some killer artwork on their walls. The colorful, personalized and edgy draw of these masterpieces will stun guests and accentuate any décor. Portraits are so overrated. Leave a legacy trail that will be sure to amaze for generations to come.
Geography’s great and drinks are better, but owning a secret compartment like an overdramatic super villain is the best. Give your friend an excuse—not that they need one—to practice their evil laugh as they talk about world domination while looking at a globe. Besides, if the villain act gets to be too much for you, at least you’ll have the bar to tide you over.
The most important innovation in motorized vehicles since the Model T, at least. This is just a car without all of the parts they don’t care about, at a tiny fraction of the cost. Let them live in style and let everyone know about it.
Exercise is great for everyone’s health, and what better way to promote a good lifestyle than scaring your friend into cycling for their life. Who needs a personal trainer when zombies are running after you? Even if they don’t exercise, this gift’s sure to increase their heart rate and they’ll thank you for it—assuming they live.
These king-sized treats just might be the perfect gift to match their insatiable sweet tooth. This level of candy debauchery might be frowned upon by overeaters anonymous, but life is too short for sugar shaming. No need to wrap these monstrous munchies, the wrapper alone is half the fun and can be used later on as one-of-a-kind wall art to commemorate their gastronomical feat.
The keyword to pay attention to here is “appear”. You may not be able to help them actually be smart in meetings, but at least with these tricks they can look the part. Hopefully their coworkers and their boss haven’t read the book.
Everyone should have a survival kit for their vehicle—not for safety, but because the people who own them are the only ones that survive the zombie apocalypse. How can they fend off a hoard of monsters without a knife? How can they disinfect zombie bites without medical supplies? It’s their job to protect you now, so they should know.
What better way to wish the 30-year-old in your life happy birthday than by making them your guinea pig? Simply give them these tablets and let the food tests begin! We’re talking vinegar, peppers, lemons, and any other food you’d like to see your friend eat.
Go big or go home. Wait, they can do both with these giant yard games! They’ll supersize the fun at backyard parties with these larger than life versions of the games we all played growing up. All sorts of giant games are available including checkers, chess, Connect Four, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Jenga and more.
Help your friend stop wasting time talking when they could be drinking by getting them these sandals. Don’t forget to make fun of them for it: “Hey, look, I found you in flipflop form.” They’ll thank you for helping them make the process of getting beer more efficient — if they’re not wasted, that is.
Help your favorite 30-year-old get away and recharge in a faraway place where nobody knows them and they can act however they want with virtually no longstanding social repercussions. Because when things get tough, evacuation is usually the only solution. Traveling may be a fool’s paradise, but it’s better than the sucker’s prison they’re stuck in now.
These might look like strange sea creatures or spindly metal spiders, but these spine-tingling scalp massagers will be adored by even your most arachnophobic friend. The perfect gift to take the stress out of their day – just make it clear from the offset that you won’t be the one operating it for them!
It’s not always good news when someone says they made you a book. It can be wonderful, of course, but things can get pretty cringe-worthy pretty quickly as the recipient pages through it with growing embarrassment for the both themselves and the giver. So take your time and do a good job with this, OK? Don’t make it weird.
Introduce the 30-year-old in your life to their first robot in their soon-to-be robot empire. Give them control over a new form of technology and let them watch while it does their bidding—well, their vacuuming. Then as more birthdays are gained, they can slowly upgrade it to more nefarious – and helpful – tasks. Like fetching slippers.
What’s better than bubble wrap and hamster balls? How about a human-sized bubble ball to roll around in or bounce off every surface in sight? Nothing says, “congratulations on turning 30 years old” like judgmental looks from neighbors and concern from everyone else.
Beanbags: the dream furniture of broke college kids and now the 30-year-old in your life. Give them an excuse to connect with their younger self by lounging on a large lump in their living room. Be warned: this gift may provoke outbursts like: “I want a taco wrapped in a pizza” and “can you spot me five bucks,” but there’s sure to be a thank-you lost somewhere in the beanbag as well.
Anyone who receives this gift is sure to be good at half of what this book’s about—just not the winning part. Use their birthday as a chance to tease them and help them at the same time. Be wary though: once they read this book, they might flip to judging your life choices at the same time.
Yes, eating toast with a picture of your face on it can be impressive and delicious, but eating someone else’s face on toast is menacing. Show the 30-year-old in your life you care by giving them a chance to frighten their friends. And their enemies. Especially their enemies.
Nothing says you care about a person like fueling their caffeine addiction. Wish the 30-year-old in your life happy birthday by making them jittery for the day—and many days to follow. They’ll thank you for it—about a billion times before crashing.
Everyone likes getting money for a present, so why not give it in one of the cutest, but most inconvenient ways possible? If they’re questionable about maintaining hygiene, that’ll never be the case again. Wait until rent is due, and then enjoy how lovely they smell as they wash their hands or shower obsessively to get the cash.
If someone has reached the age of thirty without realizing the joy of luxuriating in a hot bath while drinking a glass of cold white wine, buy this gift for them. If they have reached that age and know exactly how nice it is to do that, then, again, buy this gift for them! It works either way.
If you know someone who’s big on taste, we think they’ll love this giant peppermill that will keep their food flavorful for years to come. Not only that, it’s a great talking piece at dinner parties, so it’s particularly useful to have around if they’d rather talk about something other than getting another year older.
You care about your friend, which is why you want them to have a cooler with Bluetooth connectivity, an ice crusher, and…fine, you want to borrow this cooler every chance you get. It’s not like they can you refuse you — you’re the reason they have it in the first place.
For fending off a mugger, they’ll thank you. For fending off annoying dogs, children, co-workers, and sometimes even you – they’ll really thank you. While it’s a high price to pay, take comfort that it’s worth it for their protection. And for the film you’ll catch of them inevitably testing it on themselves.
Everyone needs a hobby, but why get them into something like scrapbooking or fishing, when you could kick-start a hobby that really pays off – for you. One that means free beer in the near future. Just brace your taste buds – the first attempts may make you wish it had more alcohol.
At 30 years old they probably don’t own an extensive art collection yet. But that doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate the finer things in life. This is the perfect opportunity to get their collection started with a portrait of you riding a horse with a rocket launcher.
And clearly your friend is one of those who shouldn’t. But friendship is about making moonshine in a bathtub and going blind for three hours – not following social constructs of “safety” and “health”. Plus you never know when you might need a friend to pick the lock on your front door.
Help you friend pretend they’re in a fancy pizza restaurant as they throw the dough and use this stovetop artisanal pizzeria. Although they might get a little too into it; beware of fake accents and having to peel the thing off the ceiling.
This gift gives them actual ownership of a tiny piece of a real Scottish castle, which gives them the legal right to call themselves a Laird or Lady. It’s a perfect boost to their ego, instant bragging rights, and endless opportunities to make them try a Scottish accent. When you add next year’s gift of a kilt to the mix, the transformation will be complete.
If they have a lot of empty walls to fill, you might consider getting them some artwork. You could buy them a print, if you’re sure about their tastes, but why not buy them tens of thousands of works of art instead? This digital art museum can match any decor and can even display uploaded original art or photos.
Support your local artisans by outfitting them in handcrafted elegance. Personalized and painstakingly beautiful, handmade pieces express affection, loyalty and soul that can’t be replicated. Celebrate their individuality and undeniable value with a one-of-a-kind creation that has been formed especially for them. A gift that will be prized for generations to come, this special gesture will win their heart.
Every day can feel like their special day with this loving collection of personalized tributes. What’s better, they can re-read them as often as they'd like, tuck them under their pillowcase, add them to their lunch tote or even send them to themselves in the mail. They'll never tire of the praise and will probably feel inspired to reciprocate, so the love train can just keep chugging along!
What could be better for serving drinks at the round table than a knight in shining armor packed full of liquor? This full suit of Gothic plate armor makes their home a castle while also defending guests and homeowners alike from the ravages of thirst. Sword not included.
Nothing adds a bit of natural flair to an outdoor party better than a large piece of fruit that gets you drunk. Just hollow out a watermelon, insert the tap, and fill it up with your favorite beverage. Let them show off their inner DIY in the coolest way possible.
This pocket implement is full of old-school charm. Besides, very few of life’s problems cannot be solved with a miniature knife, a miniature nail file, or a miniature pair of scissors. This is the very tool that helped the Swiss Army win the famous Battle of Naples in 1976.
Take their breath away, without actually having to take your own breath away, by giving them a birthday souvenir they can keep forever. Man’s best friend is a perfect present for modern art enthusiasts, balloon animal buffs and dog lovers alike. He’ll never deflate, never pop and never bark too early in the morning
Trying to find a gift for a gastronomy guru who’s got a taste for the unusual? We highly recommend Aromaforks if you’re looking for something that’s sure to go down like a treat. It will tantalize the taste buds of any thirty-year-old foodies you know and is a perfect addition to dinner parties to give them a bit of a twist.
If you’re looking for a 30th birthday gift that’s completely out of this world and will last a lifetime, this is it. And if they’re not over the moon that they get to possess their own little patch of the night sky, it may be worth reminding them of how young they are compared to their twinkling namesake.
Scrabble often gets a hard rap as an ‘old-fashioned’ or ‘fuddy-duddy’ game, but your hip and trendy 30-year-old is about to change all that. 4D TV? Tropical aquarium? An original Picasso? No, it’s all about the giant vertical scrabble, that’s what all the cool kids want on their walls these days.
We know what you’re thinking, they’ve made it this far, what else could they possibly need to know to get through life? This book is full of useful and useless little life hacks. A manual for the everyday and the not-so-everyday, making it a perfect reference guide for a 30-year-old looking to try something new or cross a few things off their bucket list
For the alternative 30-year-old who’ll try anything once, why not pop them in a local isolation tank and deprive them of their senses for an hour or so, see what happens? It might make them feel super relaxed and chilled-out about getting a year older. Or, it might just make them feel lucky to be alive when you finally let them out!