Buying a gift for your boss might feel a lot like offering a sacrifice to the volcano gods to delay another seemingly arbitrary eruption. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. After all, bosses are people too, so relax. We worked hard to take the stress out of buying for the one person besides your spouse who has the power to ruin your entire life one day at a time.
Tyrannical behavior is never good, but with some people it just seems to be ingrained in their DNA. If you have to suffer through it, at least make your boss admit it with every sip of double spiced pumpkin chai, or whatever that bastard drinks. Call it passive aggressive if you will. We just call it effective. Since you probably can’t knock your boss down a couple of rungs on the corporate ladder, you might as well ridicule them a little.
Kissing butt and making coffee is no longer enough to make it to the top. With desperate millennials flooding the marketplace, ready to do whatever it takes in order to move out of their parents’ basements, the stakes are higher than ever. But don’t give up just yet. The problem simply requires a little more directness. Use the psychological principle of consistency to get into your boss’ good graces. Once they put this shirt on, they’ll feel compelled to act as if it’s true. Victory is yours.
Your boss has carved their individual signature into the business, leaving an indelible mark that has become a permanent emblem on the corporate history, influencing and directing its financial success. You’re not going to give them some run-of-the-mill leather or paper bound journal you picked up at Walgreens. Right? It’s okay, you don’t have to admit it if you were. Just grab this one and thank your lucky stars we were there for you again.
What better way to say that the pen is mightier than the sword? Give your boss this knight in shining armor and they’ll truly feel like a king, plus they’ll always have a pen ready to sign those paychecks!
Inside every high achiever is a bored, distracted child just waiting to pop out like a jack-in-the-box as soon as it sees an opportunity. One of the hidden benefits of the corner office is the privacy that allows the occupier of that office to play with whatever they want while the door is closed. A golden slinky carries the right amount of gravitas for a man or woman of power, and it’s far from the most embarrassing thing they could be caught playing with if someone opens the door unexpectedly.
If you can’t contribute to your boss’ mental health and stability, you can at least contribute a substance that makes mental health and stability feel irrelevant for a little while. And of all those substances, wine is the most socially acceptable and has the richest history. These labels allow you to put your gift in the proper context, and carry a tacit apology wrapped in disarming humor. Even if they don’t forgive you, they’ll at least know you understand what you’ve done.
For the distinguished gentleman who enjoys the finer things, but also eats a poppy seed bagel every morning and always has some stuck in his teeth, there are scotch infused toothpicks. The added flavor and kick of scotch will encourage use, which is something that everyone can smile about.
If m&ms were a person, you would have choked the crap out of them by now because all they do is say the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, we now live in the infinitely customizable iCulture, where you don’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense anymore. Say everything you ever wanted to say, in the sweetest way possible.
Nothing says you’ve made it like clothing that bears the logo of your corporate brand. And no, we’re not talking about those cheesy screen printed t-shirts that somebody in HR’s cousin whipped up for that convention last year. We’re talking about real, legit looking professional branded wearable merchandise (PBWM, if you require an acronym). Such accessories are no longer the exclusive domain of uber-hip brands like Supreme. Now your boss can corporatize their bling too and let the whole world know what they need to know, in case they don’t already.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for your boss to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get creative. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
If your boss is the type that rides in the economy class like the rest of us, an airplane cocktail or two can help make the experience much more tolerable. Let them kick back with an Old fashioned or Moscow Mule and the stress will melt away, kind of.
Order some custom fortune cookies with little pearls of business wisdom inside. Or use the custom messages to help persuade your boss into doing something - “Don’t forget to lead by example” or maybe “Extra vacation days are proven to boost productivity”.
This classy gift looks great on an office wall and may be the perfect thingamajig for the traveling boss. Comes with markers for displaying places they’ve already been and places they’d like to go. Available as a US or World Map.
A book is more than just a collection of words and ideas. It’s a frozen piece of time — the intersection of one person’s (or sometimes multiple peoples’) thoughts and experiences with the moment in which they were recorded. So sometimes a 50th reprint of To Kill a Mockingbird just doesn’t seem to carry the same weight that it should. Serious book lovers love first editions, because they’re a tangible piece of cultural history.
Some bosses are old school - they like to do things they way they’ve always done them - with pen and paper. For those who have yet to embrace to advantages of the digital world, an electronic notepad will at least eliminate the paper. They can still use the stylus to scribble notes that no one else can read, but at least there’s an electronic copy now.
It’s tough to find a gift for your boss that they’ll actually use. Rather than throwing your money away on some doodad that they’ll pretend to like and feel obligated to display, why not put your money to good use instead? Make a donation in their name to a cause that is dear to them. It’s a classy gift that actually makes the world a better place, plus it’s tax deductible!
Give your boss an excuse for his all-too-noticeable whiskey breath, and you might just save both of your jobs. Then maybe next Christmas you can provide a useful excuse for his erratic behavior, and he’ll love you like his own child. Never forget, there’s a beautiful solution to every problem.
Being in charge can be stressful, and some bosses find themselves working 24/7 and never getting any time off. Give them a tiny little break from it all with this desktop Zen beach toy. They can run their fingers through the sand and dream of that getaway they've been missing.
So much of golf is a guessing game. They have to estimate the wind, take calculated risks to avoid water and sand hazards, and pace their beer consumption appropriately. A laser range finder at least takes club choice out of the equation. It’s also waterproof, which is great for those times when they feel like hurling it into a creek in a fit of rage. Armed with tools like these, it’s only a matter of time before they take the pro tour by storm.
If they're the type that's always scribbling notes, then they're the type that has a pile of them forgotten on their desk. Help get things organized with this bluetooth pen that saves a digital copy of everything they write.
The necktie is the unsung, often mistreated hero of the sartorial world. While shirts, pants, and jackets all get their own specialized travel bags to keep them clean, dry, and unwrinkled, neckties just get folded up and stuffed in the suitcase. But there is a price to be paid for this kind of disregard — and that price is a cranky, crinkly, abused-looking necktie that makes even the most dapper man look like he has been reduced to a stowaway sleeping in his work clothes in the undercarriage of a Greyhound bus. The necktie travel case is here to rescue that man’s dignity.
For the coffee and donut addicts of the world, it’s hard to believe that anything could improve this heavenly pairing. But that will make it all the more mind-blowing when they realize you have indeed given them something that will take the experience to another level. This truly ingenious piece of kitchen/office-ware provides the perfect platform on which the two elements meet to create the true breakfast of champions. Because if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.
It’s far better to give than to receive they say, and with this gift your boss can do both. Order a charity gift card in any amount and let them decide which charity should receive the donation. It’s a gift that makes you look good and makes them feel good. Everyone wins.
Since nobody seems to be interested enough to invent an ever-lasting battery, it looks like we’re all stuck charging our phones every day for the foreseeable future. But before you throw you hands up in disgust and ask how it could possibly get worse, there is some good news. The same lazy, inconsiderate tech “geniuses” who refuse to make forever batteries have at least found the decency to create a little pad that charges smartphones without having to plug them in. And really, it’s the least they could do.
The course may be far away, but it’s never far away from your boss’ heart and mind. Now you can put the tools of the trade at their fingertips with a set of golf pens. Score a hole in one for your career.
Your boss always demands that you get better at your job, so why not demand the same of your boss? In a subtle, pat-on-the-back, “keep up the good work, tiger” sort of way. Bring out the best in them by showing them how the best do it.
There’s no better way to spend your last few minutes before bedtime than reading about someone who’s smarter, more successful, and far more innovative than yourself. Inspiration, they call it. Give your boss the gift of understanding what they don’t understand.
If your boss is a kid at heart or is the type that needs to work out some pent up emotions, and if you’re lucky enough to have this in your area, take them to Extreme Sandbox and let them play with construction equipment. Actually they’ll be doing anything but construction in this massive adult sandbox. This place lets you smash cars!
Aggression sometimes gets a bad name, but the truth is that it’s only dangerous if misdirected. Many things in life should be aggressively pursued, such as happiness, growth, meaning, contribution — all of the warm and fuzzy stuff you see on posters. However, some people also feel the impulse to aggressively pursue verbal confrontation, or worse, opportunities to punch other people’s faces. For these folks, alternative avenues of release are really helpful. Here’s an opportunity to bring one of these alternative avenues to the most stressful environment of all: the workplace.