Flowers are a classic gift, but they’ve got one fatal flaw: no matter how beautiful, they tend to wilt too soon. But you’re smarter than that - you like to play the long game. The Flower of the Month Club lets you automatically replenish those flowers at regular intervals so that there’s always a fresh collection in the recipient’s house. Even if you’re not a hippy, you can always employ a little “flower power” to make someone feel loved and appreciated.
They may be the world record holder for moo goo gai pan take-out orders, but that doesn’t mean they can’t apply that same ambition to a more progressive enterprise on the culinary scene. These boxed meals feature fresh, nutritious ingredients that will inspire healthier eating and put a lid on that MSG consumption. Award their starved taste buds and support responsible land stewardship while you’re at it!
The beer world has truly exploded with breweries over the last decade-plus, which is great for anyone who likes trying new things. However, this proliferation of choice has a dark side. Dyed-in-the-wool beer lovers now face overwhelming anxiety every time they go to pick up a six pack or fill up a growler. The Craft Beer Club removes this pain point by making the necessary choices for all involved, so beer time can go back to being the sweet revelation it used to be.
The good life is all about quality over quantity. Or maybe it’s about quality and quantity. We’re not here to argue. If they still want to swill down cheap rotgut wine by the box, nobody’s going to stop them. It’s their life, not yours. But here’s a great way to broaden their horizons once a month by introducing them to the stuff that’s popular with the people who don’t mix their chardonnay with diet sprite.
So this maybe doesn’t have the wow factor of, say, a MENSA membership, but that’s not the point. You can buy a lifetime supply of Frosted Flakes for $.99. We’re not sure what MENSA does for you, but we know it can’t deliver like that. Who’s the genius now?
Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
If procrastination is winning the gift shopping battle, you can emerge victorious by running down to your local art, science, or history museum to grab a gift membership. It will seem like something that you put a lot of thought into, finding a gift that enriches their lives, exposes them to new cultures, and all that junk.
Mainstream wine snobbery has never taken hold in the New World like it did in Europe, so we use coffee and beer as vehicles to look down on each other in its place. Your grandpa may have been more than happy with a cup of Maxwell House every day for 70 years, but that was a different time. The masses have developed a palate, and there’s no looking back. But with all the thousands of artisan roasters out there, anyone trying to keep up on their own is likely to go insane. Luckily, some already insane person has taken on the job of curating, so the rest of us can pretend we’re experts.
In a couple of generations, nobody’s even going to know what the hell a book is. Have you seen a teenager try to figure out how to use one of their parents’ audio cassettes? But for those of us in the know, books are the real source of pure knowledge and wisdom, untainted by the runoff of digital culture. Like a cold, clear mountain stream, but with words.
You probably know someone who would like their own personal supply of organic produce but doesn’t have the time to manage a multi-acre farm. Or go to the grocery store for that matter. This is also a great gift for the healthy eater who’s too busy to garden or who tends to kill everything they lay their hands on.
In our crazy modern world, who has the patience to wait more than a day for their online purchases, or to watch one episode a week of their favorite series, instead of a 10-hour binge? If they don’t already have a subscription to Amazon Prime, it’s your duty to bring them out of the dark ages. It’s a gift that keeps on giving, and you can get it for them right now. They’ll get free shipping on tons of great stuff from Amazon as well as access to a bizillion movies for free. Whatever their addiction, they can feed it on Amazon. Help them feed it faster and better.
If they stuffed some bacon into this box, this would be Ron Swanson’s dream gift. Offering an assortment of classic manly items like booze, old-time hair paste, leather tote bags, and quite the variety of bladed implements, this is a monthly grab bag of masculine goodies tailored to each recipient’s preferences as determined by a pre-delivery personality test. No guessing here — just solid dude gifts based on hard data and great gift-giving instincts.
A safety net for the mechanically impaired, AAA is a one-of-a-kind grease monkey support network that can be relied upon to rescue them at any time of day or night. Because deep down inside, you know that for every happy ending, there’s a 1990 Camaro on the side of the road somewhere with a skeleton in the front seat.
If they're the creative type, this Adobe subscription is a perfect gift. It will give them access to the most powerful creative applications on Earth, well, in the cloud actually. They’ll be able to make professional videos, animations, music, websites, graphic artwork and more, and of course, they’ll always have the latest version of Photoshop.
It’s pretty hard to go wrong if you’re giving them a Netflix subscription. The most popular streaming site on the internet really does have something for everyone, so we guarantee it’s a gift that’ll be used for hours upon hours of shows and movies and everything in between.
There are lots of gift basket subscriptions out there, but when it comes to sweet, wholesome fruit, who better to turn to than “The Fruit Company”? With plenty of different combinations to choose from, and quality unlike anything you’re going to find at the grocery store, it’s just like planting a magic tree in the backyard and letting it do its thing. Except even a magic tree doesn’t deliver its fruit wrapped up all nice in a basket, and magic trees never think to include some cheese or jam as a bonus. When you think about it, magic trees are actually kind of lame. A fruit subscription is way better.
Some people just can’t sit still. If you don’t give them something to do, the next thing you know they’re breaking open an old thermometer to play with the mercury or teaching the dog to “finger paint.” That’s exactly who the New Hobby Box was created for — the restless souls who can’t stop going from one activity to another. It’s also great for your weird uncle who’s been whittling identical wooden gnomes for the last thirty years and needs to branch out. With so many hobbies available, there’s no reason anyone needs to be bored these days.
There are lots of monthly and weekly meal subscriptions to choose from, but not so much for the people who like the meals in between meals the best. Look, grass-fed steak with organic heirloom carrots and Arabian saffron roasted potatoes is great, but some people would genuinely prefer a handful of edamame or a blueberry lemon oat bar instead. We’re not here to judge, and you shouldn’t be either. The Graze monthly snack subscription provides healthy alternatives that allow the recipient to indulge in their love of snacking without paying the junk food tax.
They worked damn hard for this part of their life, and they deserve some free stuff. Or, if not free, at least cheap. This is like the cool kids club for old people, except everyone can get in if they pay the dues. There’s no reason they can’t go on living in style.
A Rate-As-You-Go wine subscription starts off with a quick taste test — six mini bottles to see which kinds of fermented grapes tickle the magic taste buds. The results are then fed through a super-secret quantum algorithm to determine their exact wine preferences, and from that point on they only receive bottles they’ll love. No more sending a pinot noir lover a bottle of expensive chablis that they’ll just end up pouring over their roast chicken.