Dog people are a different breed. Sure, you like animals, and so does everyone else – even if some people only like the way they taste. But there is a class of people who identify with their pets so deeply that it takes over their personality. Beware: if you plan to buy a gift, whether birthday, holiday, or other, for someone who belongs to this rare phylum: giving something to a dog lover that has nothing to do with their dog will likely register as an insult. Your relationship may well sour, and you’ll probably never know why. To avoid this oh-so-common pitfall, we’ve compiled a collection of gifts that will land you squarely in their good graces, and not in the (sorry for this one) dog house. Have at it, partner.
Filtering devices like the Brita pitcher have become common household items for people who live off a municipal water supply. Well, dogs get thirsty too, and they don’t like chlorine or prescription drug residue any more than their owners do. Plenty of dog owners spend half their paycheck to feed Scooter a 100% organic, gluten-free, grass-fed, non-gmo, antioxidant-fortified, anti-inflammatory, superfood mega-diet, but they couldn’t care less if he drinks out of the toilet. Something’s wrong there. A water purifying doggy fountain rights that wrong.
Over time, most dog owners will come to love everything about their companion. With the possible exception of their signature stench. This powerful air purifier, designed specifically for pet owners, is like a magic box that removes that part of the experience, while leaving everything else just the way it is. It also removes the pet-related allergens from the air, so they won’t have to listen to Aunt May whine about her runny nose when she visits.
There’s nothing worse than being in the dark while your pets run amok at home. This pet nanny cam, with its 340 degree rotating camera, gives a dog owner the power to monitor their every move, so they never have to wonder what their pets have been up to. And the inclusion of a two-way speaker/microphone lets them hear Chucko’s smart-ass answer when they tell him to get off the couch.
Just like people, as dogs get a little longer in the tooth, climbing and jumping onto things gets less fun and a lot less advisable. Unfortunately, as good as dogs are at doing dog-related things - like fetching and greeting - they tend to struggle with “don’t jump into the car anymore”, and other ideas that make sense to us. A portable dog ramp will save Fido from himself and help him get a lot more miles out of those old bones.
Give dog lovers a choice of any superpower, and you might be shocked at how many would choose something like this: a hand that shoots streams of water so they can wash their dog whenever they want. It doesn’t matter if it makes any sense to you. The handy design (pun alert) allows the wearer to control water flow by opening or closing their palm, and the plastic nubs offer a pleasant massage for their pet. Just hook it up to a shower head or garden hose and it’s ready to go.
We all live on the go these days. That includes dogs. So if a dog lover doesn’t want Sparky drinking out of that filthy, gasoline-swirled puddle, they better have a good alternative on hand. And while dog owners have been known to be quite up-close and personal with their pets, most people draw the line at sticking their own water bottle in Sparky’s mouth. This is one of those simple, obvious gifts that will come to seem so indispensable that they won’t believe they ever got on without it.
The Buddha’s one flaw is that he wasn’t a dog. If he was, then you would know for sure that you could trust him. Same with those monkeys advising you to see, hear, and speak no evil. Monkeys have been jerking us around for centuries, so you never know what to make of what they tell you. If they were dogs, you would just listen. No need to ask questions. The owner of these lawn statues displays a profound and all-encompassing wisdom.
When you’re really in love with your dog, gazing into its perfect mutt face just isn’t enough, because sometimes you’re away from home or your dog is busy tearing apart your shoes in another room. Custom-made items like jewelry and pillows that bear your best friend’s image are the next best thing. A great way for a dog lover to remember someone they can’t be with, even if just for five minutes.
Monthly, curated boxes of goods delivered directly to your door are all the rage for humans. Whether it’s kitchen ingredients, clothes, or personal care products, having experts put together a killer package of the best in any product category is a proven business model in the new economy. The problem is, dogs have been feeling left out, and nobody even realized it. Except dog people (did we mention they’re a little different?). Every Bark Box includes toys, snacks, and chewables that will have dogs and their owners rolling with joy for weeks at a time.
As a dog owner, you become more acquainted with another species’ bodily fluids than you ever wanted to. If a dog owner is really brave, get them this UV urine flashlight and let them find out exactly what they’re dealing with. Like the prospectors of old who flocked to the western mountains, the intrepid seeker of (liquid) gold knows the next bounty could always be right around the corner. Give them the tools to get the job done right.
The human-to-human reticence of the dog lover can be misinterpreted as anti-social behavior. But it’s usually nothing personal. The truth is, many days they only care to communicate through face licking and belly rubbing. In order to avoid any confusion or negative social consequences, allow them to communicate the critical message in plain English. The world isn’t such a hostile place when you wear your intentions on your sleeve – or even better, on your chest.