The Buddha’s one flaw is that he wasn’t a dog. If he was, then you would know for sure that you could trust him. Same with those monkeys advising you to see, hear, and speak no evil. Monkeys have been jerking us around for centuries, so you never know what to make of what they tell you. If they were dogs, you would just listen. No need to ask questions. The owner of these lawn statues displays a profound and all-encompassing wisdom.
As a dog owner, you become more acquainted with another species’ bodily fluids than you ever wanted to. If a dog owner is really brave, get them this UV urine flashlight and let them find out exactly what they’re dealing with. Like the prospectors of old who flocked to the western mountains, the intrepid seeker of (liquid) gold knows the next bounty could always be right around the corner. Give them the tools to get the job done right.
We all live on the go these days. That includes dogs. So if a dog lover doesn’t want Sparky drinking out of that filthy, gasoline-swirled puddle, they better have a good alternative on hand. And while dog owners have been known to be quite up-close and personal with their pets, most people draw the line at sticking their own water bottle in Sparky’s mouth. This is one of those simple, obvious gifts that will come to seem so indispensable that they won’t believe they ever got on without it.
Your pet once ruled the kingdom, and perhaps they still do! Honor them with a beautiful and one-of-a-kind personalized Renaissance Pet Portrait. Artists will transform your pet into a stunning masterpiece. Simply select an amusing outfit and upload an image of your pet. Printed with museum-quality inks and paper, your portrait will look and feel like it belongs in a museum. If Renaissance isn't your pet's style, there a lots of other hilarious choices.
Give dog lovers a choice of any superpower, and you might be shocked at how many would choose something like this: a hand that shoots streams of water so they can wash their dog whenever they want. It doesn’t matter if it makes any sense to you. The handy design (pun alert) allows the wearer to control water flow by opening or closing their palm, and the plastic nubs offer a pleasant massage for their pet. Just hook it up to a shower head or garden hose and it’s ready to go.
This prank joke box is the perfect way to make an okay present seem way better. Once they open it and realize it’s not really a VR headset for their dog, whatever you actually put inside will seem a lot better. There is really only one way this joke can go awry: if the gift you put inside is actually worse than a VR set for dogs. But then again, failure on that level is an art form in itself, which makes it a weird kind of success.
There is something undeniably touching about having an artist recreate an image of your pet by hand using the old-time tools of long-gone artistic masters. After all, any old fool can press a shutter button and spit out a photo of your furry best friend. It really means something that an artist was willing to stare at that photo for hours while they painstakingly recreated it by hand, imbuing it with all the personality and living charisma of your dog's aura.
When you’re really in love with your dog, gazing into its perfect mutt face just isn’t enough, because sometimes you’re away from home or your dog is busy tearing apart your shoes in another room. Custom-made items like jewelry and pillows that bear your best friend’s image are the next best thing. A great way for a dog lover to remember someone they can’t be with, even if just for five minutes.
There’s nothing worse than being in the dark while your pets run amok at home. This pet nanny cam, with its 340 degree rotating camera, gives a dog owner the power to monitor their every move, so they never have to wonder what their pets have been up to. And the inclusion of a two-way speaker/microphone lets them hear Chucko’s smart-ass answer when they tell him to get off the couch.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
