It’s a good bet that more of us would stop to smell the roses if they were made out of beef jerky. “But,” you say, “if they were made of beef jerky then they wouldn’t be roses.” Well, that’s where you’re wrong. And that’s the beauty of human ingenuity. When one of us has a great idea, we can all benefit. And rest assured, much happiness will be experienced due to this magical invention. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s appropriate to buy a man flowers, now you’ve got your answer.
According to a 2019 Harris Poll, almost a quarter of Americans would choose pizza if they could only eat one food for the rest of their lives. Sixty-five percent think pizza is a suitable breakfast item, and forty percent would give up dating for a year in exchange for free pizza anytime they wanted. This pizza oven is for outdoor use, is portable, and fueled by wood, charcoal, or pellets and can reach a temperature of 930 degrees Fahrenheit. Oven walls, ceiling and floor are fully insulated.
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
Animal farts are the most genuine, because they are done without the slightest comic intent. You could even say human farting is a corrupted act, because everyone knows they’ll get a reaction. Help celebrate flatulence in purest form, with all the colors of the rainbow.
We all could use a little more color in our lives—or 540 more colors, that is. With that many puzzle pieces, each in a slightly different shade, this 3D sphere-shaped jigsaw puzzle will excite your inner artist. Explore the color scale as you challenge yourself to piece together each individual hue exactly in relation to the next. The finished result is a rainbow ombre gradient that fades to white at one pole of the puzzle globe and to black at the other. It even comes with a stand, so you can turn your accomplishment into a piece of décor after you place the last piece.
Make sure that they’re never caught short (of battery, at least) with this pocket-sized power pack that is perfect for their portable devices. This charger harnesses the power of the biggest battery in our solar system so they should never have an excuse for not returning your call.
This is essentially a big book full of trivia questions you’ll never be asked. But really, what is this obsession with “useful” knowledge? As they say, one man’s mental treasure is another’s cranial garbage. So when it comes to knowledge, quality and usefulness are always subjective. If you know someone who enjoys filling their head with obscure, bizarre, thought-provoking, and silly crap that nobody else cares about, this volume could be their new bible.
Way back when, Japanese noblemen used to wrap their feet in expensive fish to flaunt their wealth to the lower classes. The practice eventually stopped for two reasons: 1) society came to see it as disrespectful toward those who struggled to feed themselves, and 2) it made their feet smell even worse. But history repeats itself and fashion trends always make a comeback. These sushi-patterned socks offer all of the benefits of the old fish-foot tradition, and none of the less desirable social aspects.
This electric pasta maker mixes and extrudes various shapes of pasta without taking up added counter or drawer space. The eight included interchangeable tips create penne, spaghetti, lasagna, angel hair, fettuccine, tagliatelle, spaghettini, ravioli, and dumplings. Each batch makes up to five servings of fresh homemade pasta. Parts remove for easy cleaning. Includes recipe book and flour and liquid measuring cups, and cleaning tool.
In case you haven’t gotten the memo, we’re basically wrong about everything, and here’s the proof. Even the stuff you’re pretty sure you know is mostly wrong. And we’re not talking about getting complex math problems wrong or misjudging the character of your friends. We’re talking about basic, simple facts in topics like history and science — the stuff you’re supposed to learn in school. Yeah, it was all a big bundle of lies and misunderstandings. And if you look back over your life, perhaps that explains a lot.
They’ve learned about literature, mathematics, and history in school. Their parents taught them right from wrong. And they even know how to cook dinner and change the oil. That’s all well and good, but what use is any of that when they are taken by foreign agents? These emergency survival courses will teach them the truly important things that were left out of their education, like how to escape when they wake up in the trunk of a moving car with their hands and feet bound.
This gift gives them actual ownership of a tiny piece of a real Scottish castle, which gives them the legal right to call themselves a Laird or Lady. It’s a perfect boost to their ego, instant bragging rights, and endless opportunities to make them try a Scottish accent. When you add next year’s gift of a kilt to the mix, the transformation will be complete.
Watch opposing armies fight for supremacy on the living room wall with this piece of functional art. Grandmasters and novice players alike will appreciate checking their opponents on the most unique game board in their home. Framed like a picture, this chessboard makes a unique present for anyone who loves to play games.
Nothing adds a bit of natural flair to an outdoor party better than a large piece of fruit that gets you drunk. Just hollow out a watermelon, insert the tap, and fill it up with your favorite beverage. Let them show off their inner DIY in the coolest way possible.
Who needs photorealism when you can have the charming warmth of skillful human error? There is something undeniably touching about having an artist recreate your image by hand using the old-time tools of long-gone artistic masters. After all, any old fool can press a shutter button and spit out a photo of your homely mug. It really means something that another person was willing to stare at that photo for hours while they painstakingly recreated your form by hand, imbuing it with all the personality and living charisma of your aura. Help someone you love celebrate a cherished moment the old fashioned way.
Good luck convincing them this isn’t an acid flashback. This remote-controlled fish will be a welcome break from conventional pets that need feeding and only stay in the air for a few seconds. Holds enough helium to turn any house party into a chipmunk colony.
The morning drinker: one of the most misunderstood fellow citizens. Once imbued with the spark of firewater, they can do anything, especially if it’s delivered with the bold energy rush of caffeine. You think we should eradicate morning drinking? Well, you can kiss all your favorite novels goodbye then, because all great authors are drunk by 10 am. But I guess if you want to try tricking someone out of their morning cup of whiskey, this would be the best way.
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or maybe just gives you PTSD. Either way, it’s better than dead. Here’s a book that can help the owner avoid the dead category for a little longer, even when things get hairy. Rough world we live in.
Since the dawn of time, chaos, terror, and death have periodically rained down from the sky. Only the lucky were spared. But now we have weather radios, so you can go inside instead of dying. This one also conveniently charges your phone so the next hurricane doesn’t have to interrupt your game of angry birds.
Sitting on the throne, for lack of a better term, isn’t the place where you tend to feel at your most gallant, but every king or queen needs a loyal knight to serve them and we’ve found just the man for the job. Always at hand when they need him the most, he won’t shy away from coming to their aid in even the most, er, challenging of situations.
Many of us rely on fortune cookies for guidance in everyday matters and major life decisions alike. Yet we never stop to think that we’re casting our fate into the hands of some anonymous pastry worker — or worse yet, some mindless, heartless industrial food processing machine — in a faraway land we likely can’t even pronounce. It’s time we begin taking our destiny into our own hands. Here’s to pulling ourselves up by the cosmic bootstraps.