Abusive Birthday Balloons
Perhaps you feel that undisguised love is just gross. For you, the proper way to show your feelings is through verbal abuse, because it gets the point across without making anyone’s skin crawl. You’d only speak this way to someone you really care about, and everyone knows it.
Why not? There’s so many good things about Amazon Prime – things that didn’t even exist when your 50-year-old was a kid. Free shipping in 2 HOURS? What kind of sorcery is this? Millions of songs? That’s a lot of mix tapes. Video streaming? The closest they had to that was a black and white nature documentary about rivers.
By their 50th birthday, they’ve probably managed to acquire some decent jewelry. Maybe not a lot, but some, and good enough that they want to keep it clean and nice. So instead of giving them another gold bracelet, perhaps this Jewelry Steam Cleaner would be a prudent gift.
Is the birthday guy or gal planning some home remodeling? No need for expensive contractors - with these giant legos they can build it themselves. This gift will rekindle their childhood imagination and provide them with the pride of actually building something they use. Perhaps a lego kitchen island or coffee table would be just the thing to bring their decor together?
At 50, a person may start to think about their place in history. They begin to really contemplate what it means to someday join the long chain of human life that led to them and to their descendants. Help them get started on a journey of self discovery by starting a family tree.
Sure, they could just make the same list on their smartphone, and never print it. Or they could use a pen. But people turning fifty have been wanting a Voice Activated Grocery List Maker since they saw that article about life in the 21st century 40+ years ago, and, goshdarnit, they should get one.
A person who has lived over half a century is often seen as wise, a person who young people can turn to for a deeper understanding of the world. Unfortunately, not all of us know quite as much as it seems like we should, and wish we could bone up on human history a bit before we get asked about it. And that’s where this book comes in.
Get started on that Bucket List while there’s time and health to finish it by writing everything on special tags and storing them in an actual bucket. Then pick an adventure whenever life permits. There’s so much to do and look forward to doing! Get to work on it!
A person who’s just hitting 50 has learned a lot over the years, so why would they need a book like this? Because, just like in other sorts of technology, people never stop devising newer and better ways of doing even mundane everyday tasks. This book is state of the art.