A vacation is another tried and true midlife crisis remedy. But it’s important to respect the opportunity for your recipient-in-crisis to choose his own destination. One despairing soul may want to sit by the pool for a month at a resort in Cancun, another may want to go yurt-hopping through Mongolia. He can do either one with an Airbnb gift card (yes, really).
After spending a couple of decades in a cubicle, office, warehouse, or other typical work environment, many experience the unmistakable yearning for freedom and self-expression of the artistic life. If they missed the boat early on, this is the perfect time to pick up a musical instrument. The great thing about a travel guitar is that, well, it travels. So if they travel for work, they don't have to leave their rockstar alter-ego in the basement back home. Now they can finally live their dream of going on tour with the band, even if it’s just a one-man band.
The Western world is in a crisis of discarded honor, dubious integrity, and faux manliness. It is time to recover what we have lost. Stephen Mansfield shows us the way. Working with timeless maxims and stirring examples of manhood from ages past, Mansfield issues a trumpet call of manliness fit for our times.
Even men who don’t want to beat each other up still want to know how to beat each other up if they ever change their minds. If your man in crisis never learned how, then local martial arts classes can help him feel manlier and more competent — not to mention help him get in better shape and develop camaraderie with his fellow trainees.
Many a midlife crisis is brought on by a feeling of crushing existential boredom — the feeling that life is unbelievably dull and that’s never going to change. Not tomorrow, not the next day…never. For someone suffering from this particular form of midlife torture, just getting out and doing something that tricks the primitive lizard brain into thinking it might die at any moment might be enough to shake a few brain cells loose (in a good way). Ideas for adventure gifts are virtually endless. Skydiving and bungee jumping are classic choices that you can find just about anywhere — if they have the stomach for it. For speed freaks, NASCAR offers a variety of in-car experiences from ride-alongs to the chance to get behind the wheel and take on some of the most famous race tracks in the US.
Hats have long been used as a means to hide a balding scalp, both from the painful effects of solar radiation and the equally loathsome fate of public judgment. But no longer are they merely for concealment. Thanks to the ingenuity of medical engineers, they are now also a means of treatment. What the hydroponic growth box is to the tomato, this cap is to the poor cranium suffering from thinning coverage. A dual-purpose fashion accessory if there ever was one.
If he’s already taken things into his own hands and bought a motorcycle to “break free from bourgeois society” or whatever, then show him he has your full support by getting him some badass accessories. A motorcycle helmet from Deadbeat Customs will keep his melon safe and help him stand out on the road from all of the other kindred mavericks seeking freedom on two wheels.
Sometimes, it’s just being an adult that’s bumming him out. A full size arcade game cabinet loaded with all of the best classic video games from the height of the arcade era might help him escape back to the glory days of childhood for a minute. Or he might just disappear into a black hole in the basement for the next six months.
Every dinner party needs a little edge. After the guests have feasted upon the fine fare laid out in front of them and warmed their innards with wine, brandy, or some other fine spirit, it’s time for everyone to be reminded that ill-considered choices can indeed have bad consequences. But you see, the trick of this game is that the actions mandated on these cards only seem like ill-considered choices. They are, in fact, carefully selected and annotated experiments fully backed by science and reason, engineered to titillate and elicit grins and guffaws.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
