All of Life’s Mysteries Unraveled
It’s a big claim, we know. But yes, apparently all of life’s mysteries can be explained using flow charts, and this handy book has collected them all together. Give this to the 50th birthday recipient who has always wondered about the meaning of life, and berated the lack of a sufficient diagram to explain it.
By their 50th birthday, they’ve probably managed to acquire some decent jewelry. Maybe not a lot, but some, and good enough that they want to keep it clean and nice. So instead of giving them another gold bracelet, perhaps this Jewelry Steam Cleaner would be a prudent gift.
By their 50th birthday, a person is probably pretty sure they are not going to ever have a royal title. Like, what are the chances? Now you can blow their mind with the gift of a Scottish Laird or Ladyship decorative title and a real piece of an ancient estate.
This doesn’t have to be awkward. Yes, you are giving someone, as a 50th birthday gift, something they will use for pooping. It’s OK. Then someday you’ll say, “Hey, you, uh, you ever use that Squatty Potty?” They’ll look horrified for a half a second, but then they’ll crack a quick smile and say, “Yeah, actually. It’s great. Thanks.” Then you never speak of it again.
Older people sometimes get a little freaked out about technology they don’t understand, so give them some peace of mind with this card that blocks remote RFID readers from stealing their credit cards. And buy one for yourself, too, because this threat is actually real.
This is the real stuff. You don’t start off drinking 50 year old whisky. No, you buy the cheap stuff, then maybe the fancier stuff, and once in a while the good stuff comes your way. But a liquor that’s aged for 50 years, like a human, is on a whole other level. This has to be earned by living.
A person who has lived over half a century is often seen as wise, a person who young people can turn to for a deeper understanding of the world. Unfortunately, not all of us know quite as much as it seems like we should, and wish we could bone up on human history a bit before we get asked about it. And that’s where this book comes in.
Why not? There’s so many good things about Amazon Prime – things that didn’t even exist when your 50-year-old was a kid. Free shipping in 2 HOURS? What kind of sorcery is this? Millions of songs? That’s a lot of mix tapes. Video streaming? The closest they had to that was a black and white nature documentary about rivers.
A person who’s just hitting 50 has learned a lot over the years, so why would they need a book like this? Because, just like in other sorts of technology, people never stop devising newer and better ways of doing even mundane everyday tasks. This book is state of the art.