Basic Flight Lesson
If humans were meant to fly, the logic goes, we would have been born with wings. Well, logic is an overrated buzzkill. Leaving the earth and relying on your own wits to return in one piece is something everyone should experience. Give the middle finger to gravity and biological destiny.
Don’t say bucket list. Don’t say “while you still can” when making the plans. This is supposed to be fun, not somber. Just plan a trip, somewhere you know they’ve always wanted to go and never had the chance. Make it happen. Have a wonderful time. And do it again and again.
Why not? There’s so many good things about Amazon Prime – things that didn’t even exist when your 50-year-old was a kid. Free shipping in 2 HOURS? What kind of sorcery is this? Millions of songs? That’s a lot of mix tapes. Video streaming? The closest they had to that was a black and white nature documentary about rivers.
This is the real stuff. You don’t start off drinking 50 year old whisky. No, you buy the cheap stuff, then maybe the fancier stuff, and once in a while the good stuff comes your way. But a liquor that’s aged for 50 years, like a human, is on a whole other level. This has to be earned by living.
By their 50th birthday, they’ve probably managed to acquire some decent jewelry. Maybe not a lot, but some, and good enough that they want to keep it clean and nice. So instead of giving them another gold bracelet, perhaps this Jewelry Steam Cleaner would be a prudent gift.
If you’ve used a heating blanket, you know how you’re stuck sitting or lying down, and how hard it can be to get it on the right spot. Here’s a 50th birthday gift idea that solves all that. The heat wrap covers neck and shoulders while allowing full freedom of blissful movement.
There is a chance they might be underwhelmed when they realize that they themselves will have to cook the dinner(s) you bought for them, but only up until they actually follow along with Blue Apron’s clear easy instructions and eat their delicious, gourmet food. Then they won’t stop thanking you.
Whether it’s Charlotte’s Web, Hamlet or Harry Potter, a first edition of their favorite book is sure to top the gifting charts. In the past, you’d scour bookshops, eventually stumbling across a kindly old bookseller, who’d take pity on your plight, and climb a rickety ladder, to dust off a long-lost volume... nowadays, we have the Internet.
By the time a person gets to fifty, they’ve probably experienced at least a few health problems and injuries. But now they’re getting older, these will start to multiply. They’ll need to be afraid. Very afraid. Their only chance is to keep this book with them, like a talisman, and consult it constantly.