Beer Layering Tool
Part of the enjoyment of drinking a black and tan is the visual aspect. When the two beers blend together it just looks like someone screwed up at the Guinness brewery. This is the kind of thing you care about when proclaim to be a beer connoisseur. Here’s a little gift that can at least help him look like he knows what he’s doing.
This is what you get when you realize your taste in home decor is crap. Or maybe the person you’re buying for is too weird to appreciate it. Whatever the case, sometimes it’s not such a good idea to decorate someone else’s house for them. If you’re feeling a little gun shy, slip this in their stocking and let them pull the trigger themselves.
Back when old people were kids, shadow puppeteering was accepted as a legitimate skill. That meant holding your hands in front of a light to create rudimentary animal shapes on the wall, because there was no internet. These candleholders are a serious step up. Just try making a mature cedar with your hands. Ok, stop. It’s not going to happen.
Back in the old days you were really rolling the dice when you chose a hotel. Either you called blindly after skimming the phone book or simply drove all night and hoped you saw a vacancy sign before you ran out of gas and got murdered by a vagrant. A hotel gift card is not just a way of picking up the tab for a night’s stay; it’s also the priceless gift of peace of mind.
This year, when they say they want nothing, make their day by getting them just that. Among this gift’s many wonderful attributes is that it never runs out - so it’s always there, always in the same condition in which you bought it. It also never breaks, can’t be stolen, needs no virtual updates, has no hidden costs or fees, and may or may not be the source of everything (we haven’t yet confirmed). In so many ways, the perfect stocking stuffer is nothing at all.
Drinking coffee is for amateurs: give the gift of intense doses of chewable caffeine. Help them run marathons, finish difficult projects, and—if they eat too many—question if their eye is supposed to be twitching. As a bonus to you, if you ever need to paint your house, get them on board – they can see way more colors than you can now.
Know someone who’s had a lot of close calls? Celebrate it with this bullet-embedded shot glass. A strong reminder that you never know which direction the next shitstorm is coming from, and you never know what shape it’s going to take. You might as well live it up now while you can.
Want a stocking stuffer that will totally boggle their mind? Give them these confusing tablets that temporarily alter taste buds. Balsamic vinegar? Suddenly delicious! Their holiday gin and bitter lemon? Tastes just like lemonade! These tablets, made from the West African miracle berry, alter taste perception by turning sour flavors to sweet. Guaranteed to confuse, worry, and astound everyone that tries them.
There are a small but important set of emergencies that can only be rectified with a clown nose. This has been demonstrated time and time again in hospitals rooms across the world. Sadly, there’s no money in clown noses, so big pharma keeps us in the dark.